MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

SUE MARTINO

From the incipiency of the Big Bang, to standing on the equator, humanitarian Sue Martino has a lot of things on her mind, including a humane vision for all of Florida’s sheltered pets

Where did you grow up?  In New York City.  How long have you lived in South Florida?  Since August 2006.  Why did you move here?  A business partner asked me to operate and manage a few of his small hotels in Fort Lauderdale beach.  What part of South Florida do you live in?  In Wilton Manors.  What do you like most about living here?  I think I like the weather most.  Second would be the openness.  What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone?  The Copa and the tea dances at the beach.  Where do you hang out in South Florida, and why?  I patronize the restaurants and shops on Wilton Drive.  I also enjoy meeting friends at the small neighborhood bars such as Smarty Pants and Mona’s.  What’s your claim-to-fame?  Heading up the Pet Project.  What was your first pet?  A dog named “Fluffy.”  What’s your favorite pet?  I love all of my pets—past, present and future.

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How many pets do you think The Pet Project has serviced?  Over the past 15 years, I’m sure over 20,000.  Are you a vegetarian?  No.  How would you like to be remembered?  As a person who cared and wanted to make a difference in the lives of animals and in the lives of humans who are disabled, ill or aging.  Will you ever retire?  No, I don’t think so.  I have too much to accomplish yet.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  My emails.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why?  So far, it would have to be Disney World.  It’s the “happiest place on earth,” and I  love the magic!  For a foreign trip, it would have to be the Panama Canal.  What an amazing part of the world.  The beauty, the two connecting oceans, the vessels that sail through the canal, the bridge that towers over the canal connecting the two sides… just breathtaking and amazing.  What do you think is your greatest achievement?  Taking The Pet Project to the level we are at today, and being chosen as the Florida affiliate for the Rescue Bank. 

PHOTOGRAPH BY STEPHEN R. LANG

What’s your favorite book?  The Celestine Prophecy.  How do you most enjoy spending your time?  Hanging at home with my wife and my pets.  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  No crushes, but I respect Ellen DeGeneres.  I think that she’s very courageous and giving.  Who do you admire?  Celine Dion.  She’s a wonderful singer, and she was a loyal wife.  She’s also strong, smart, and a good person.  She really is a role model for women.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why?  My mom, because I miss her.  And I sometimes need her strength and inspiration.  Where would you go in a time machine, and why?  To the Big Bang.  I would like to experience the beginning of the universe.  What would your last meal be?  Scrambled eggs with American cheese, an English muffin, French fries and a glass of milk.  What do you worry about?  I worry about the lives of innocent animals who are abused or abandoned or surrendered to overcrowded shelters.  They must be so hurt inside, and many are suffering.

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If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why?  I think I would be a set of drums because they’re the backbone of music.  They’re the beat and the “life” of music, and they’re strong.  I like that.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  I am definitely more like a wolf.  I’m a risk-taker, I have no fear of most things, and I would stand up to anything.  Who depends on you, and for what?  A lot of people and their pets depend on me for basic essentials.  My own pets depend on me as well.  Who are you closest with?  My wife and my god daughter.  What would your autobiography be called?  Finding the Way, No Matter What.  Do you ever put music on when you’re upset?  Yes.  Music always makes me feel better.  I like the solid-gold oldies, disco, dance music and Broadway hits.  What’s on your bucket list?  A month or longer in Italy, a trip to the Galapagos, a cruise around the world, and I want to stand on the equator.  I also want to expand the Pet Project to all states, and I’d like to see all of Florida as “no-kill” state.

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What’s your greatest regret in life?  That I didn’t do more to help animals earlier in my life.  But I’m working hard to make up for lost time.  Tell me something that you’ve never told anyone else.  I’ll tell you something that occurred recently that I wouldn’t have told anyone else.  As Irma was approaching—and I’ve never experienced a hurricane before—I began to put a few clients and their pets who were at risk of flooding into the Pet Project building.  As I left the building, I realized that over 900 people and over 1,100 pets depended on me and the Pet Project, and I was afraid.  It never dawned on me before the magnitude of the people and pets who would need help if there had been a really bad disaster.  It left me very shaken.  But thank the universe, we all survived.  Where can we see you?  At The Pet Project almost every day!

PHOTOGRAPH BY MAGGIE MARTINO
MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Events

GRINDR: THE OPERA

SHADE-O-METER RATING

3 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NO SHADE, BUT SHE DIDN’T TURN IT OUT”

What’s GRINDR: The Opera?  It’s a pop opera.  The music, libretto and lyrics are by Erik Ransom.  What’s Empire Stage?  It’s a lovely little theater in an industrial section of Wilton Manors.  Specifically, it’s down the street from the all-male strip club, Le Boy.  How many people does the venue hold?  About 50.  How was the parking?  They have parking behind the venue and on the street.  Both are free.  Does the venue serve liquor?  No imbibements are offered.  Does the venue serve food?  Nope.  How much were the tickets?  $35.  Was the show sold out?  Yes.  How was the crowd?  All queens.  I don’t think I saw one female in the house.

How was the music?  To quote Hamlet, “The play’s the thing.”  That too can be said of a musical—the music’s “the thing.”  Considering this, it’s highly unlikely that one would leave the theater remembering one song that was heard.  I certainly didn’t.  The only song that I remembered was the last one, “What a Tangled Web We Weave,” and that was only because of the title.  The mostly-derivative pop rock-ish score consisted of whiffs of lesser numbers from Hamilton, Rent, Next to Normal, Dear Even Hanson and Depeche Mode, and then filtered through the prism of the cult film Phantom of the Paradise.  Of note, the show is performed to a track.

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How was the story?  The story consists of a rather conventional conceit of four male Grindr uses who’s lives inevitably intersect.  One could view this aspect of the story as a metaphor for the medical opinion that when you sleep with someone, you’re also sleeping with everyone else that they’ve ever slept with.  GRINDR: The Opera is a story of boy-meets-boy, boy then cheats-on-boy.  To make matters worse, the “Jezebel” character who sleeps with the one boy—sobriqueted on Grindr as “powerbottom18”—has a father that’s a closet-cased city councilman.  Surveying all these festivities was the “spirt” of Grindr, or “mother” Grindr herself—a drag queen.  How were the lyrics?  With lyrics such as “I want to be seeded,” “I’ll be your cum dumpster,” “Split me down the middle like the Berlin Wall,” and “Fuck me until I’m bleeding,” this show definitely ain’t for the kiddies.  Parents and expecting mothers, take note.

How was the set design and staging?  This was fine.  If anything, this was one of the better aspects of the show.  The staging used the limited space and resources to maximum effect, with actors shifting around sets and props to indicate transitions.  The infamous Grindr logo loomed front and center, with Sauron-like glowing eyes that surveyed the character’s antics.  How was the costume design?  Appropriate, for the most part, yet not always.  For example, a glaring example of an incorrect design was the costume for the councilman character.  The character was dressed in an ill-fitted suit, with no tie or socks on, and with the shirt collar worn over the jacket’s collar.  Not only is this 1990s-inspired look inappropriate for a contemporary show, but it’s highly unlikely that an uptight closet case politician would be caught dead in such a disheveled getup.

What could have improved the show?  The music is what it is, and it’s up to the composer to write better songs.  However, of particular irritation was this “mother” Grindr character, which, according to the website, is described as a “mythical” siren.  Even those with only a passing knowledge of Greek mythology will recognize the symbolic similarities between the Grindr icon and the permanently erect and ready satyr.  One can only imagine why mother “Drag Race” Grindr wasn’t reconceived as some kind of devil-faced enticing “daddy” Grindr instead.  What was surprising about the show?  According to the creator of Grindr, the app is named after coffee grinds, as in, “grinding” people together like they were coffee grounds.  In that venture, the musical appeared to succeed.

GRINDR: The Opera plays through November 19 at Empire Stage.  Empire Stage is located at 1140 North Flagler Drive, in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Restaurants

CASBLANCA CAFE

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What’s Casablanca Café?  It’s restaurant that’s in the Jova House.  The Jova House—circa 1927—is the oldest remaining structure on Fort Lauderdale Beach.  The house was converted into a restaurant in 1993.  How was the maître d’?  No complaints.  There always seems to be someone there.  What was the décor like?  Fabulous.  The owner(s) smartly preserved the Mediterranean Revival architecture.

What was the seating like?  There is indoor and outdoor seating, both upstairs and downstairs.  There’s limited seating in the piano bar area as well.  What was the atmosphere like?  Casual, with about a 50/50 mix of tourists and local.  Some people are dressed up in afternoon attire, and some people are in bathing suits.

How’s the cruising?  Not really present.  However, for the guys, there are a fair number of queens there.  When was happy hour?  Monday through Friday, from 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.  What libations were ordered?  We got a Bloody Mary, a cucumber martini and a “Casa Basil” drink.  They were between $10 and $13.  Were they served timely?  Yes.

How were they?  The Bloody Mary could have been a little more pungent, the cucumber martini was a little too sweet and the strawberries and the basil in the “Casa” drink should have been muddled.  They’re also a little stingy with the pourin’ of the liquor.  however, overall, the drinks are good.  What was on the menu?  We went for lunch, which was served until 4:30 p.m.  They have their traditional Menu, and there’s also a few specialty drinks and entrees.

What was ordered?  A baked brie appetizer and an ahi tuna appetizer.  For the entrees, a fish taco, a seafood linguini, and a snapper entre (which was the catch of the day).  The appetizers were about $14 and $15.  The entrees ranged from about $15 to $19.  Was the food served timely?  Yes.  The wait was appropriate for this type of restaurant.

How was it?  The brie appetizer is basically a deconstructed salad, which is interesting concept.  The blueberries in it were perfectly ripe.  The tuna appetizer had picked kimchee (cabbage) in, which was a nice touch.  Regarding the entrees, the snapper dish was a tad too salty.  But the roasted tomatoes and the parsley-infused olive oil in it were complementary and pleasing.  The coleslaw in the fish tacos needed more dressing, but the fish was very fresh (which is paramount).  The seafood linguini was served with lobster cream sauce, as opposed to the more common red sauce.  There was a modest amount of seafood in the dish.

How was the service?  Attentive.  What stands out about the place?  The décor and the view.  Regarding both, it simply doesn’t get any better.  however, I’m sure that no one appreciated the irritating noise from periodic motorcycles.  What could be improved?  The wait staff removed the plates from two people while the third was still eating.  This is a no-no.  What was surprising?  The inside windows on the second floor don’t open.

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Casablanca Café is located at 3049 Alhambra St., in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  It’s open daily from 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 a.m.  There’s live entertainment Tuesday to Sunday from 8:00 p.m. to 12:30 a.m.