MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Interviews

FIONA O’BRIEN

Through the pain of a recent loss, rising comedian Fiona O’Brien keeps her sense of humor intact as she reveals her likes and dislikes, including how quality control at Cadbury would be her ideal job

PHOTOGRAPH BY MICHELLE DUNLEAVY

Where did you grow up?  In Sutton, Dublin, in Ireland.  Where do you live now?  In Toronto, Canada.  How long have you lived there?  For five years.  What do you like about it?  Tim Hortons.  If you could live anywhere, where would it be?  At my mom’s house. What’s your claim-to-fame?  Being a shit-cool mother fucka.  What comics follow you on Twitter?  Among others, Rosie O’Donnell and Lisa Lampanelli.  Who’s your favorite female comic?  Joan Rivers.  Who’s your favorite male comic?  Tommy Tiernan.  What makes a good stand-up comic?  Confidence, and faith in yourself.

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Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work takes the audience on a year long ride with legendary comedian Joan Rivers in her 76th year of life. Peeling away the mask of an iconic comedian, the film is an emotionally surprising and revealing portrait of one the most hilarious and long-standing career women ever in the business.

What performer are you inspired by?  Joan Rivers, Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams.  What’s your favorite film?  Jaws.  What’s your favorite comedy film?  This Is Spinal Tap.  What’s your dream job?  Quality control at Cadbury.  Will you ever retire?  No.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  Lego.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why?  Egypt, because I love the Egyptian history.  What’s the last thing that you watched on TV?  The Sound of Music.  What’s the craziest thing that you ever did?  Gate-crashing a wedding with my friend.  What’s your favorite book?  Watermelon by Marian Keyes.

PHOTOGRAPH BY MICHELLE DUNLEAVY

What’s the best concert you ever went to?  Tina Turner.  What did you learn from your parents?  That you can’t stop tomorrow from coming.  What’s your best characteristic?  My sense of humor.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  Playing around on my phone.  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  Keanu Reeves, but only if he was a mute.  Who do you admire, and why?  My mom and dad, for loving us unconditionally.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why?  My dad.  He died this year, and he was my favorite person.  Where would you go in a time machine, and why?  Back to the day before my wedding.  The “why” is obvious.

PHOTOGRAPH BY JUSTIN TRUDEAU

What would your last meal be?  Ice cream.  What do you worry about?  Money.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be?  My daughter said a trumpet.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  A wolf.  Who depends on you?  My favorite child does, and also the other two.  Who are you closest with?  My sister, Orla.   What would your autobiography be called?  Are You Feckin’ Serious?  What music do you listen to when you’re upset? The Pointer Sisters.  What’s on your bucket list?  To write a book.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  Not visiting Ireland as often as I could of.  Can you tell me something that you never told anyone else?  Yes.  Where can we see you?  At www.fionaobrien.ca, on my Facebook Web Series, on YouTube, on Twitter, or at a comedy club!

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

MICHAEL TRONN – PART 1

In a two-part exclusive, founding club kid, artist and promoter Michael Tronn tells us what South Beach was like before the Versace era, before letting us into the elite world of some of New York’s and Miami’s hottest clubs

PHOTOGRAPH BY NATALIE CAROLE

Where did you grow up?  In New York, across the street from The Metropolitan Museum of Art.  How long have you lived in South Florida?  I moved here in 1997, but I was visiting here since about 90’ or 91’.  What was South Beach like then?  My first trip was fairly spontaneous, and I knew nothing about South Beach except that it was a cool, secret spot for New Yorkers and fashion people.  This was before Versace, before Lincoln Road—the place was virtually a ghost town.  Back then, the Versace mansion was a run-down apartment building for seniors.  Ocean Drive was lined with elderly people in plastic chairs sunning themselves with reflectors under their chins.  The only things that were going on then were photo shoots and some very hedonistic nightclubs, such as Warsaw and Paragon.  Why did you move here?  I decided that if I could get a good job at one of five companies that I was interested in, then I would move permanently—and I did.  Liquid hired me to be the new creative and marketing director, and I stayed in Miami from then on.  What part of South Florida do you live in?  When I’m in Miami, I live in South Beach.

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What do you like most about living here?  The ocean, the air, and the amazing memories that I have of South Beach’s heyday, such as the beginning of Wynwood.  Where do you hang out in South Florida, and why?  I don’t hang out at any one spot like I did in the past, but I find that Wynwood is the most interesting neighborhood.  In some ways, Churchill’s is my favorite.  What’s your claim-to-fame?  I was one of the co-creators of the “Club Kid” scene in New York.  That was in 1987.  I also promoted and/or launched many notable clubs in New York such as Tunnel, The World, the Red Zone, Mars, The Saint, Studio 54, Roxy and MK.  In Miami, I’m known as the director of Liquid, building and launching the Ice Palace Film Studios, launching Crobar and promoting ANTHEM Sundays there, opening the restaurants Rumi and Studio, and for having my own art space in Wynwood.  How did you come up with your name?  People think I made my last name up, but Tronn is an old Russian family name.  Whose fashion look do you admire, and why?  I much prefer style over designer clothes, and I always have.  My favorite style idol is Iris Apfel.  She’s 100 percent unique and real, and she dresses only for herself.

What’s your favorite place that you’ve lived?  It’s a tie between Miami from 1991 to 2006—there was never anything as amazing as that, and I don’t think there ever will be again—and New York in the 70s and 80s.  That period was New York’s golden age in so many ways.  What New York venues do you miss that are gone?  Palladium, The World, Area, Danceteria, Mother and Studio 54.  What are your favorite events that you’ve produced in New York, and why?  Well, I’ve produced over 1,000 events, but three New York events stand out: one, a hair-sculpture completion at Tunnel (we had salon tables in the basement… the creations were amazing).  Two, the opening night of the “It” party at The World (I had the entire first floor done in tin foil as a tribute to The Factory, the entire stairwell—including the floor—was painted with the sky and clouds as a tribute to Magritte, the top floor was designed and decorated red as a tribute to Diana Vreeland, and I had mountain climbers rappel down the face of the building while the crowd waited for the doors to open).  And, three, the opening Night of Crobar New York (the production was over-the-top, and we had 15,000 people).

PHOTOGRAPH BY TIM SCULLY

What South Florida venues do you miss that are gone?  Warsaw and Paragon.  Warsaw is a heartbreaking loss.  At least the site of the original Paragon became Level, and then Mansion [it closed in 2016].  But Paragon really is the best venue in Miami.  What are your favorite events that you’ve produced in Miami, and why?  Once again, there are three major standouts: the Grand Opening of Crobar, which was insane.  I had a $70,000 budget, and I staged a car wreck out in front with live models—people still talk about it today.  The “White Starz” party at The Coconut Grove Convention Center, where I not only transformed the entire space, but I had Yoko Ono perform in between the sets of Junior Vasquez and Tony Moran.  And “GUIDO” on Fridays at Liquid, which was in the VIP lounge.  We had immersive themes there each week, such as a “Bollywood” wedding, and it became the place for major fashion launches.

Stay tuned for PART 2 next week…

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

TONY DEE

Twenty-seven years ago, Tony Dee started it all in Wilton Manors with Chardees.  As he’s about to re-open the historic venue, he tells us what “The Drive” was like in its infancy.   

PHOTOGRAPH BY GENE HUSZCZA

Where did you grow up?  In Dix Hills, Long Island.  How long have you lived in South Florida?  I moved her in 1969.  Back then, I could have bought the whole state for probably $50,000 (laughs).  Well, make it $49,999.  I always like a discount.  Why did you move here?  I had a chain of men’s hair salons in Long Island, but I always wanted to live in Florida.  I came down here for a Christmas party one year, and I was sold.  I was like, “it’s Christmas, and people are wearing bathing suits?”  It blew my mind to see that, coming from all that snow.  I bought a home in southwest Miami, and that was the beginning of it.  What part of South Florida do you live in?  I live in Wilton Station.  I’m a one-man-show, and I’ve always have been.  I’m five minutes away from my work.  What do you like most about living here?  The weather and Wilton Manors.  I’ll never leave here.  What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone?  For me, personally, it would be Chardees.  I’m not a bar person, and I never was—I don’t drink.  So I never really went to the other places.  Where do you hang out in South Florida, and why?  I love Galanga—it’s a Thai restaurant.  I also love What The Pho? and Sea and Olive.

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You mentioned that you owned salons.  Were you a stylist?  Yes.  My full name is Anthony Deriggi, but everyone kept getting my last name wrong, so I said, just call me Tony “Dee.”  I was the hairdresser for the male stars at the Westbury Music Fair.  I styled all the stars that didn’t have a personal stylist.  What’s your claim–to–fame?  When I first started looking at property in Wilton Manors, it was desolate.  Nothing was there.  I had a vision of a New York supper club, with music and entertainment.  We opened Chardees on October 1, 1990—I was the first there.  I booked Eartha Kitt within six months, and then it just took off.  But it was a lot of work; it took a lot of renovations.  I mean, you still had the air conditioner in the window.  Things like that.  And here we are, 27 years later.  How did you come up with the name “Chardees”?  My former business partner’s first name—he died—was “Charlie.”  So, we combined “Charlie” with “Dee,” for me, and we got “Chardees.”  How would you like to be remembered?  Honesty, it’s corny, but I’d like to be remembered as someone who did it their way.  Will you ever retire?  I’m a workaholic, so I don’t see that in the near future.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  I don’t do it.  Call me and I’ll talk to you.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why?  Greece in the 1950s, and then followed by Italy and Spain.

WITH ANDY MARTIN – PHOTOGRAPH BY GENE HUSZCZA

What did you learn from your father?  How to pay your bills on time.  Where you think your drive comes from?  I don’t know.  My parents moved around on Long Island a lot—it was just the three of us.  I used to joke that I came home from the army—I wasn’t in the armed services—but they’d moved.  Maybe it comes from husting from place to place…?  Are you an only child?  Yes, and I’m adopted as well.  I was adopted when I was two and a half years old.  I never met my biological parents.  What performer do you admire?  Eartha Kitt was the best I ever worked with.  I never saw her before or after that one time, but she was the best.  Who’s the most exciting person you ever had dinner with?  Elizabeth Taylor.  I flew to New York for it, and it was about 12 of us.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  I enjoy spending time with my husband, Andy.  I’m two different people.  I’m one way at home, and another way at work.  I’m very high strung, but Andy calms me.  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  Ricky Martin.  What do you admire in others?  Honesty.  Whatever you have to say, just say it.    If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why?  Liberace.  He was one of my all-time favorites.  I had a lot of down time backstage with him throughout the years, and if you take away all the glitz and the glamour, he was just such a nice and kind human being.  And he was so talented.

WITH GLENDA GRAINGER – PHOTOGRAPH BY GENE HUSZCZA

What would your last meal be?  A cowboy ribeye from the Council Oak at the Hard Rock.  What do you worry about?  I worry about aging and the future, because I’ve been healthy all my life.  I worry about pain and suffering that’s inflicted on others.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why?  A piano.  It’s my favorite instrument.  Who depends on you?  No one.  Who are you closest with?  Andy, and a number of friends, and one cousin.  If this cousin died, I don’t know what I’d do.  What would your autobiography be called?  I Did It My Way.  Do you ever put music on when you’re upset?  No.  If I’m upset, I work or I put on a rerun of the original Will and Grace.   What’s on your bucket list?  To do whatever I have to to make sure that Andy succeeds with Chardees.  I own the building, but he owns the business, so it’s easy to get rent from the tenant (laughs).  What’s your greatest regret in life?  Not having children.  Can you tell me something that you never told anyone else?  I worked with George Hamilton once, but this was when he was younger.  And when I worked with him, he was in his underwear.  I can tell you that it was hard to keep my hands to myself that day.  Where can we see you?  Most nights, you can see me at Chardees.

WITH ANDY MARTIN

 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Events

BAREBACK FOLLIES

The old school met the new this Thursday, in Suzanne Bartsch’s Art Basal edition of the Bareback Follies

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What’s Bareback Follies?  It’s a burlesque/drag show at El Tucan.  It’s hosted by long-time New York club promoter Suzanne Bartsch.  What’s El Tucan?  It’s a cabaret/nightclub in downtown Miami.  Specifically, it’s in the Brickell area.  The venue offers a dinner and a show.

How was the venue?  It’s beautiful and classy.  It’s also the perfect size (for you size queens).  How was the parking?  There’s a parking lot right around the corner.  It costs $10 to park in it.  The venue has valet as well.  Does the venue serve liquor?  Of course.

How were the drinks?  Now, here’s where things went wrong.  If you’re going to advertise “luxe libations,” then you better have bartenders that know what a sidecar is.  Methinks The Fine Art of Mixing Cocktails would be mandatory reading for their bartenders.  Other than this faux pas, the drinks were well-made.  However, even for Miami, they’re a bit pricey.  Wine was $17, and a Manhattan was $15.  Girls, this ain’t the Four Seasons.

Does the venue serve food?  Yes.  However, we didn’t do the dinner and show—just the show.  The regular prix-fixe is $55, and the seasonal one is $85.  How much were the tickets?  $25.  Was the show sold out?  No.  How was the crowd?  At times, in competition with the performers for the spotlight.

How was the show?  The inheritors of Warhol’s “Silver” Factor crowd, and a group that could be considered one of the earliest media whores, the club kids of the 1980s and early 1990s would even rival today’s most Instagram-obsessed individuals for attention.  The show featured some notable figures from that era, some modern burlesque acts, and some performers from RuPaul’s Drag Race.  Standout numbers were Shequida singing “Whatever Lola Wants” (re-done as “Whatever Shequida Wants”), where she fluctuated between a baritone voice and a contralto, Brent Ray Fraser painting with his penis, Amanda Lepore (billed as “having a body that costs a million dollars”), and Adora, who cleverly channeled the history of the area with an exaggerated “cha-cha” number.

What could have improved the show?  Although all of the performances were professional and adept, some of them didn’t necessarily stand out.  To quote “Mama Ru,” some of them should probably be “up for elimination” in order to elevate the bar.

What could have improved the venue?  Um, the AC wasn’t really working.  It must have been 1,000 degrees in there.  If you’re going to have a dress code, and you want people to come in “cocktail attire” or “formal wear,” please appropriately chill the customers (or change the dress code to clothing-optional).

What was surprising about the show?  That it left you wanting more.  Each performer only did one number, so they gave you their best.

El Tucan is located at 1111 Southwest 1st Ave., in Miami, Florida.  It open Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Events

LADY GAGA

Amidst much anticipation, Lady Gaga rolled into Tampa on December 1st with her Joanne World Tour

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

Who’s Lady Gaga?  No introduction’s needed; the bitch’s reputation precedes herself.  What’s the Amalie Arena?  It’s the major indoor arena in Tampa, Florida.  It was originally called the Ice Palace, and it opened in 1996.  It holds about 15,000, and it’s in the Channelside area.

How was the venue?  It’s a nice arena, and it’s a little more intimate than the 20,000 to 25,000 seat arenas that are out there.  How was the parking?  The arena has its own parking.  However, to avoid the crowds, park in the Channelside cruise-ship parking lot, which is only about a five-minute walk from the venue.

Does the venue serve liquor?  Yes.  How were the drinks?  We only got one.  They’re what you would expect.  Well drinks and shots, etc.  Nothing fancy (except the prices).  Does the venue serve food?  Yes, but we didn’t get any.

How much were the tickets?  $86.  The seats were the front row of the section directly on the side of the stage.  The stage was about 50 feet away.  Was the show sold out?  The advertising said that it was, but there were definitely some open seats.  Strangely, it didn’t feel sold out.

Who was the opening act?  There was no opening act, only ambient music, which was rather weird and sounded like a hypnotic trance was being induced.

How was the show?  I’m sorry to rain on everyone’s parade, but I wasn’t blown away by the show.  For starters, she needs to cut down on the kumbaya/Mr. Rogers “love one another” proselytizing and preaching.  It’s also apparent that—based on the response from the audience, as well as the way that she interacts with them—Gaga’s persona is changing from a rock star fashion icon to just a regular person—she’s just like you or me, in other words.  But how many of us walk on elevated platforms over thousands of people every day, and doesn’t Taylor Swift already have a corner on the market as the “average girl”?  Despite this, there were moments when the show was transcended, as only a star of her caliber can deliver, such as with Gaga’s solo numbers on the piano (“Come to Mama” comes to mind) or the guitar, or, for example, with “Bad Romance” (the synthesizers’ laser sounds contained an exciting homage to Klaus Nomi).  Gaga also did, at times, what the best artists do in a live show, which is present musical sagacity.  This was no more obvious than with her solo and reduced-tempo rendition of “Edge of Glory.”  However, there were also moments when the show was derivative or the musical-momentum dragged.  With themes that ran the gamut from a Pink Floyd laser show, to various Jane Fonda exercise routines, to an imitation of a Madonna song (“Born This Way”), to Cirque du Soleil antics, and to choreography that seemed like it came right out of Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation tour, it was sometimes hard to tell where Gaga-the-artist began, and where Gaga-the-interpreter-of-other-performers ended.

How was the crowd?  There was plenty of worshipping going on, and the audience predominately imitated Gaga’s looks.  But for the previous tour, the audience wore outfits that were merely inspired by her.  And it’s this single difference that makes all the difference.

What could have improved the show?  As it happens with just about everyone, Gaga will eventually fall out of favor as a contemporary figure—or, at least partially so.  And when she does, she’ll be free of the trappings of circumstance to be able to concentrate mainly on the music the way, for example, Bruce Springsteen or Billy Joel does.  For, it seems that this is really what she was “born” to do, and not the former.

What was surprising about the show?  That the band played heavy metal interludes when Gaga was off the stage for her various costume changes.  

The Amalie Arena is located at 401 Channelside Drive, in Tampa, Florida.

 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Restaurants

THE COBALT LOUNGE AT THE CASA MONICA HOTEL

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What’s the Casa Monica Hotel?  It’s a historic hotel in St. Augustine, Florida.  It opened in 1888, and it’s one of the oldest hotels in the country.

What’s the Cobalt Lounge?  It’s a jazz lounge in the Case Monica Hotel.  According to the website, they offer “handcrafted cocktails” and “signature martinis.”

How was the maître d’?  No maître d’.  You seat yourself.  How was the décor?  To quote Tallulah Bankhead from the movie Lifeboat, “In a word—wow.”  The architecture is Moorish revival and Spanish Baroque revival.  The lounge, and surrounding hotel, is sure to satisfy all your peripatetic desires.

What was the seating like?  There’s some bar seating, some high top seating, and some cocktail seating.  What was the atmosphere like?  Chill.  The live musical is on Friday and Saturday, from 8:00 p.m. to midnight.

What was the crowd like?  Virtually nonexistent.  But then again, it was around noon.  When was happy hour?  She don’t give no discounts during the winter season but sometimes rolls em’ out during the off-season.

What libations were ordered?  A cool blue cucumber martini ($11), a ruby red grapefruit martini ($12), and an apple pear martini ($9).  The cucumber and the grapefruit martinis were the server’s personal recipe that she created for a local Christmas cocktail contest.  Neither was on the menu; you have to ask for it.

Were they served timely?  Yes.  How were they?  Good, but I don’t know that they’ll be winning any awards.  However, they were very strong.  Side note—the venue used to have a ginger martini that was “to die” for.  It had Goldschlagger liqueur in it and an edible hibiscus.  But alas, it’s no more (I asked).

What was on the menu?  Six appetizers, a few pizzas, a few sandwiches, and less than 10 entrees.  What was ordered?  Two appetizers.  The Wagyu beef carpaccio ($14) and the “costa” calamari ($14).  Was the food served timely?  Not necessarily.  The wait almost verged on being excessive.

How was it?  Of the two, the carpaccio app was better.  The carpaccio was accompanied by a mustard aioli (which also had dill and wasabi in it) and parmesan flakes.  The most interesting aspect of the calamari was that it was served with a lemon Moroccan harissa sauce (but not enough of it) and fresh oregano.  It was fried correctly, and the batter was good.

How was the service?  Attentive, but a bit quirky.  The bartender/servers been there for 17 years.  What stands out about the place?  The unique décor.  What could be improved?  The food should be more inventive and convey risk-taking.  What was surprising?  That they don’t do a haunted tour of the hotel.

The Casa Monica Hotel is located at 95 Cordova St., in St. Augustine, Florida.  The Cobalt Lounge is opened from about 11:00 a.m. to midnight.

 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Interviews

TOM FITZPATRICK

Horror star and connoisseur of vintage cinema, Tom Fitzpatrick, reveals what he’s superstitious about, where he’d go in a time machine, and what beckoned him to Hollywood

Where did you grow up?  I grew up on a dairy farm near Rexville, New York, in a tiny hamlet in Southwestern New York State.  Where you live now?  In West Hollywood, California.  Why did you move there?  I always wanted to live there.  Specifically, I wanted to live in the “Hollywood” that I saw in the movie magazine photos—which doesn’t exist anymore, if it ever did.  But West Hollywood is the same; it’s only better!  Tell me something about Los Angeles that most people don’t know.  Hmm…  Captive Native Americans were sold as slaves in a slave market that existed on the streets of downtown Los Angeles, as late as the 1850s.  Are you proud to be an American yet?  What’s your claim–to–fame?  I guess that I played The Bride in Black in Episodes II and III of the Insidious horror franchise, and I played Kevin Hart’s long-suffering English butler on the BET series Real Husbands of Hollywood.  How would you like to be remembered?  As a fabulous actor who never got his due during his lifetime.  Will you ever retire?  Nah, I’ll never retire.  I’m just getting started.  What are your favorite silent movies?  Sunrise, Intolerance, A Fool There Was, and The General.  What are your favorite early talkies?  The Beast of the City, Dracula, and She Done Him Wrong.  What’s your favorite contemporary movie?  Tangerine.  Who are your favorite performers from silent films?  Buster Keaton, Clara Bow, Mary Pickford and Theda Bara.  Who’s your favorite performer from talkies?  Mae West.

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Who’s your favorite contemporary performer, and why?  Meryl Streep and Laurie Metcalf, because them broads can act!  What makes a good silent movie?  Good pace, superb photography, subtle acting and a good story.  What makes a good talkie?  All of the other things I just said, plus good, fast-paced dialogue in that dear, old-fashioned Broadway style.  It needs to be snappy.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  I searched for “massive cocks” on Reddit, okay?  Nosy bitch.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why?  Paris.  Why…?!  Jesus Christ, it’s fucking Paris!  It’s the best city in the world, hands down.  What’s your favorite band?  I have no “favorite” band. I literally know nothing of contemporary music, and my ignorance doesn’t bother me at all.  Who would play you in a movie?  Glenda Jackson…?  No, I don’t know.  Stupid question, dear.  What are you superstitious about?  Oh, God.  Never, EVER, quote anything from Shakespeare’s Scottish play in my presence.  That’s my greatest fear.  Never, EVER, whistle in the dressing room.  Never cross paths backstage with anyone going up or down the stairs.  Never wear a blue costume without some silver on it to offset the blue.  Never peek out at the audience from behind the curtain before the show.  And, of course, say “break a leg” to a performer, but never say “good luck.”  I knock-on-wood all the while backstage before a show, and I pray as well.  Do you believe in aliens?  Aliens…?  Nah. We’re alone on this rock in the universe, kids.  Sorry. 

What’s your guilty pleasure?  I have no guilty pleasure.  Anything I want to do, I go ahead and do it.  Fuck it.  Life is too short.  I had 17 years of a Catholic childhood, and that gave me more than enough guilt for two fucking lifetimes.  How do you most enjoy spending your time?  Going to excellent films at The Arclight Theatre in Hollywood, or sitting quietly, reading great books by P. G. Wodehouse or Agatha Christie.  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  Keanu Reeves.  Who do you admire?  Keanu Reeves.  The guy is classy and cool.  He’s the product of a good mom, I bet.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why?  My beloved best friend that I ever had in my life, the late Iranian-American avant-garde theatre director, Reza Abdoh.  He and I worked together for ten years and made ten shows together.  He died of AIDS in 1995, and I still miss him and think of him every day.  Best guy on earth, ever, by me.  Where would you go in a time machine, and why?  I’d go to Hollywood, California, at about 1912 or 1913.  I’d break into silents at the very beginning.  I’d get in on the ground floor.  A new art form was being created, you know?  The last art form, probably.  What else can be done…?  What would your last meal be?  I dunno.  A hunk of salmon, some veggies and rice, a glass of good red wine, a great cuppa coffee, and a slice of good chocolate cake for dessert.

What do you worry about?  Money.  But I don’t need much.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why?  The oboe. I like the soothing sound, and it sounds very close to the human voice.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  A wolf, baby.  Make no mistake about it.  I might be a small, sneaky wolf, but a wolf nevertheless.  Who depends on you?  Nobody depends on me.  Thank God.  Who are you closest with?  Four “kids” from the company of actors my friend Reza created to do his works, two old friends from a long-running show that I did in Boston in the early 1970s, and a newbie from Facebook—the fine young film director, Anoushirvan Masoudi.  What would your autobiography be called?  Either I Always Wanted to Be Here, or Thank God That’s Over.  Do you ever put music on when you’re upset?  No.  No music.  What’s on your bucket list?  To get a regular or recurring role on some damned TV show that takes off and runs for 10 years, and to make beaucoup flicks for really good, artistic directors.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  I turned down a few gigs that might have led to more interesting work.  Tell me something that you’ve never told anyone else.  I’ve already told you enough.  No mas, papi.  Sorry.  No hitherto unpublished secrets will be divulged here.  Where can we see you?  In the upcoming film Regarding the Case of Joan of Arc and in an episode in the upcoming web series Driven.

 

 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

CATHY CRAIG

After performing in South Florida for over 30 years, few have the tenure that Cathy Craig does.  Here, she regales about the Marlin Beach Hotel, the state of drag, and what her dream role is.

Where did you grow up?  In Cleveland, Ohio.  They call Cleveland the “mistake on the lake,” but I don’t know why.  There’s fabulous education, medical facilities, museums, theater…  How long have you lived in South Florida?  Since 1984.  What part of South Florida do you live in?  I used to live in Fort Lauderdale, but I now live in Pompano Beach, in the Lighthouse Point area.  What do you like most about living here?  The weather, and the many wonder friends that I’ve met both on-and-off-the-stage and in retail.  What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone?  Of all the places that are gone from South Florida, the ones that I miss the most are Bobby Wynn’s restaurant, The Copa, and, of course, the wonderful Marlin Beach Hotel.  Where do you hang out in South Florida?  The restaurants and little shops in Wilton Manors, The Pub and the Coconut Creek Casino.  What’s your claim–to–fame?  I’ve won many Dixie Awards and a few titles along the way, but the thing that’s special to me was when I awarded the honorary Miss Florida Female Impersonator award in 2014.  I also won a Lucille Ball lookalike contest over nine women at the Coconut Creek Casino, and it caused a scandal.

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How did you come up with your name?  The first time I ever dressed up, I called myself “Lorraine.”  Someone [Treva Trash] came over to me and asked me what my name was.  I told her that it was Lorraine, but she said that I looked more like a “Cathy.”  “Big Mama” gave me my last name, “Craig,” after Dr. Craig from General Hospital.  Who’s the best drag queen or all time, and why?  I’ve had many inspirations, but the one who comes to mind is Charles Pierce.  He paved the way for a lot of entertainers, including RuPaul and Divine.  He really brought drag to the forefront.  Who’s the best national drag queen right now, and why?  RuPaul, because of the road he’s paving for entertainers.  Who’s the best local drag queen right now?  There are so many, I don’t know where to begin.  To name a few, I would say Nikki Adams, Tiffany Arrieaugus, Elektra, Amanda Austin, Dee Dee Van Carter, Francesca Richards, Sharde Ross and Brittany Moore.  But I could go on for days…  What was your favorite gig, and why?  I’ll tell you two stories.  I remember performing at the Marlin Beach Hotel with Nikki Adams, and I finished my number UNDERWATER (you could see underwater from the downstairs bar) so that everybody outside of the pool could watch.  I made $1,000 in tips that night.  I also played The Queen of Hearts at the Flagler Museum, and no one knew that I was a man until the press leaked it.

Do you think that drag is becoming too mainstream?  No.  I got into this to become mainstream.  I would love to be in films and TV, either in or out of drag.  How would you like to be remembered?  As a good entertainer, a wonderful person and someone who was always available when needed.  Will you ever retire?  I don’t feel that I’ll ever retire.  I’ve performed for over 40 years, and I don’t plan on retiring anywhere in the near future.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  The last thing that I looked up online, unfortunately, was about an ailment—and that’s not funny.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited?  I’ve been many places, but my favorites are Las Vegas and cruises.  What’s your favorite movie?  Mame, with Lucille Ball, of course.  I’m such a fan of hers.  What drives you crazy?  Dishonesty.  Just lay it on the table and suffer the consequences.  Also, backstabbing.  If I’m not fond of you, I’ll tell you.  How would you feel if your pet was the master in heaven, and you were the pet?  I have a wonderful little chihuahua, and I would think that I would be very lucky in heaven, because I knew that I was going to be spoiled.

Would you give a kidney to a relative or close friend?  You better believe I would.  But they better watch out, because I’m getting close to Depends age.  How do you most enjoy spending your time?  Going with my friends to movies, out to dinner and to thrift stores.  As long as you have friends, you have everything.  Who do you admire?  Someone who’s not afraid to take a chance.  They say to “take the bull by the horns,” but I was sometimes afraid that I would get stabbed.  Where would you go in a time machine, and why?  I would go to the past and I would change a few things.  I would have been more prepared for retirement, I would have fearlessly pursued a larger career, and I would have taken care of my health.  What would your last meal be?  Probably macaroni and cheese made with fontina and gorgonzola.  What do you worry about?  I worry about the future and that no one will remember me.  I also worry that I won’t be able to enjoy the rest of my life.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why?  I’d be the piano.  It’s the only instrument you really need.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  A sheep with a fluffy coat.

Who depends on you, and for what?  It’s always been in my personality that I like people to depend on me. But the older I get, the less those people are around or they’ve passed on.  Now I’m becoming the one who needs somebody.  What would your autobiography be called?  It would be called Laughing Large.  Do you ever put music on when you’re upset?  When I’m upset or depressed, I usually put something spiritual on.  Or maybe just a fabulous female soul singer.  What’s on your bucket list?  I still have a lot of things on my bucket list. I always wanted to play Rose in Gypsy.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  My greatest regret in life is not ever having a long-term lover and not learning to play the piano.  But not necessarily in that order.  Tell me something that you’ve never told anyone else.  That sometimes when I’m laughing on the outside, I’m crying on the inside. Where can we see you?  On Facebook at William Lewis or at Cathy Craig Female Impersonator.  You can also see some of my performances on YouTube.

 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Restaurants

WHAT THE PHO?

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What’s “What The Pho?”  It’s a Vietnamese restaurant in Wilton Manors.  According to the website, it’s owned by a family member of Miami-Dade’s Miss Saigon Bistro chain.  This is the owner’s first solo venture.  How was the maître d’?  Great.  She was friendly and casual.  What was the décor like?  Industrial, but with evocations of jungles and Buddhist imagery.  What was the seating like?  There were a few seats at the bar.  The rest of the seating was either traditional tables or high-top ones.

What was the atmosphere like?  Considering that it was a Friday night at about 10:00 p.m., it was fairly crowded.  What was the crowd like?  It was about two-thirds gay.  How’s the cruising?  None really.  When was happy hour?  No happy hour.  Does that make it a “sad” hour?  What libations were ordered?  They don’t serve liquor.  They only have beer, wine and sake.  However, they do have saketinis.  They offer hot and cold sake.  We ordered wine ($10) and hot sake ($10.95; and yes, quality sake should not be consumed hot).

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Were they served timely?  Yes.  How were they?  Nothing special.  The sake and wine was average.  Considering this, they’re overpriced.  What was on the menu?  As the name implies, the emphasis is on the pho.  Pho is a noodle soup that consists of broth, rice noodles, herbs, and usually beef or chicken.  They do offer a vegetarian version.  There’s also a “Huey” special (named after the owner) that’s apparently popular.

What was ordered?  For appetizers, we ordered the crispy spring rolls ($7.95 for two) and the crispy seafood spring rolls ($8.95 for four).  For entrées, we ordered vegetarian pho ($13.95), spicy pork pho ($16.95) and chicken fried rice ($11.95).  Was the food served timely?  Yes.

How was the food?  The crispy springs rolls had chicken and crab in them, and they were served with a fish-based “nuoc cham” dipping sauce.  The fish-flavor in the sauce was subtle, and the balance of the competing elements in it was correct.  However, the rolls themselves could have used more crab.  The dish was also served with another undisclosed sauce.  Perhaps soy sauce?  The crispy seafood spring rolls were also served with the same nuoc cham sauce.  Of the two dishes, the seafood spring rolls were better.  Regarding the entrées, the pho was served with an over-flowing side of bean sprouts, basil, lime, and jalapeño peppers.  Both dishes were excellent.  The meat in the pork pho was in delicate strips.  The tofu in the vegetarian pho is fresh and soft.  The fried rice was okay, but there was a slightly glutinous consistency.

How was the service?  Personable.  What stands out about the place?  The service and the pho.  What could be improved?  The food could use an element of surprise or hints of the exotic.  Increase the caliber of the drinks, or reduce the prices.  What was surprising?  That toilet paper rolls were displayed outside of the bathrooms.

What The Pho? is located at 2033 Wilton Drive, in Wilton Manors, Florida.  It’s open for lunch Tuesday through Saturday.  Dinner is served daily.  Consult the website for exact closing times, which range from 9:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.