December 3, 2017December 7, 2019 MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Restaurants

THE COBALT LOUNGE AT THE CASA MONICA HOTEL

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What’s the Casa Monica Hotel? It’s a historic hotel in St. Augustine, Florida. It opened in 1888, and it’s one of the oldest hotels in the country.

What’s the Cobalt Lounge? It’s a jazz lounge in the Case Monica Hotel. According to the website, they offer “handcrafted cocktails” and “signature martinis.”

How was the maître d’? No maître d’. You seat yourself. How was the décor? To quote Tallulah Bankhead from the movie Lifeboat, “In a word—wow.” The architecture is Moorish revival and Spanish Baroque revival. The lounge, and surrounding hotel, is sure to satisfy all your peripatetic desires.

What was the seating like? There’s some bar seating, some high top seating, and some cocktail seating. What was the atmosphere like? Chill. The live musical is on Friday and Saturday, from 8:00 p.m. to midnight.

What was the crowd like? Virtually nonexistent. But then again, it was around noon. When was happy hour? She don’t give no discounts during the winter season but sometimes rolls em’ out during the off-season.

What libations were ordered? A cool blue cucumber martini ($11), a ruby red grapefruit martini ($12), and an apple pear martini ($9). The cucumber and the grapefruit martinis were the server’s personal recipe that she created for a local Christmas cocktail contest. Neither was on the menu; you have to ask for it.

Were they served timely? Yes. How were they? Good, but I don’t know that they’ll be winning any awards. However, they were very strong. Side note—the venue used to have a ginger martini that was “to die” for. It had Goldschlagger liqueur in it and an edible hibiscus. But alas, it’s no more (I asked).

What was on the menu? Six appetizers, a few pizzas, a few sandwiches, and less than 10 entrees. What was ordered? Two appetizers. The Wagyu beef carpaccio ($14) and the “costa” calamari ($14). Was the food served timely? Not necessarily. The wait almost verged on being excessive.

How was it? Of the two, the carpaccio app was better. The carpaccio was accompanied by a mustard aioli (which also had dill and wasabi in it) and parmesan flakes. The most interesting aspect of the calamari was that it was served with a lemon Moroccan harissa sauce (but not enough of it) and fresh oregano. It was fried correctly, and the batter was good.

How was the service? Attentive, but a bit quirky. The bartender/servers been there for 17 years. What stands out about the place? The unique décor. What could be improved? The food should be more inventive and convey risk-taking. What was surprising? That they don’t do a haunted tour of the hotel.

The Casa Monica Hotel is located at 95 Cordova St., in St. Augustine, Florida. The Cobalt Lounge is opened from about 11:00 a.m. to midnight.

December 3, 2017April 1, 2018 MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Interviews

TOM FITZPATRICK

Horror star and connoisseur of vintage cinema, Tom Fitzpatrick, reveals what he’s superstitious about, where he’d go in a time machine, and what beckoned him to Hollywood

Where did you grow up? I grew up on a dairy farm near Rexville, New York, in a tiny hamlet in Southwestern New York State. Where you live now? In West Hollywood, California. Why did you move there? I always wanted to live there. Specifically, I wanted to live in the “Hollywood” that I saw in the movie magazine photos—which doesn’t exist anymore, if it ever did. But West Hollywood is the same; it’s only better! Tell me something about Los Angeles that most people don’t know. Hmm… Captive Native Americans were sold as slaves in a slave market that existed on the streets of downtown Los Angeles, as late as the 1850s. Are you proud to be an American yet? What’s your claim–to–fame? I guess that I played The Bride in Black in Episodes II and III of the Insidious horror franchise, and I played Kevin Hart’s long-suffering English butler on the BET series Real Husbands of Hollywood. How would you like to be remembered? As a fabulous actor who never got his due during his lifetime. Will you ever retire? Nah, I’ll never retire. I’m just getting started. What are your favorite silent movies? Sunrise, Intolerance, A Fool There Was, and The General. What are your favorite early talkies? The Beast of the City, Dracula, and She Done Him Wrong. What’s your favorite contemporary movie? Tangerine. Who are your favorite performers from silent films? Buster Keaton, Clara Bow, Mary Pickford and Theda Bara. Who’s your favorite performer from talkies? Mae West.

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Who’s your favorite contemporary performer, and why? Meryl Streep and Laurie Metcalf, because them broads can act! What makes a good silent movie? Good pace, superb photography, subtle acting and a good story. What makes a good talkie? All of the other things I just said, plus good, fast-paced dialogue in that dear, old-fashioned Broadway style. It needs to be snappy. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? I searched for “massive cocks” on Reddit, okay? Nosy bitch. What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why? Paris. Why…?! Jesus Christ, it’s fucking Paris! It’s the best city in the world, hands down. What’s your favorite band? I have no “favorite” band. I literally know nothing of contemporary music, and my ignorance doesn’t bother me at all. Who would play you in a movie? Glenda Jackson…? No, I don’t know. Stupid question, dear. What are you superstitious about? Oh, God. Never, EVER, quote anything from Shakespeare’s Scottish play in my presence. That’s my greatest fear. Never, EVER, whistle in the dressing room. Never cross paths backstage with anyone going up or down the stairs. Never wear a blue costume without some silver on it to offset the blue. Never peek out at the audience from behind the curtain before the show. And, of course, say “break a leg” to a performer, but never say “good luck.” I knock-on-wood all the while backstage before a show, and I pray as well. Do you believe in aliens? Aliens…? Nah. We’re alone on this rock in the universe, kids. Sorry.

What’s your guilty pleasure? I have no guilty pleasure. Anything I want to do, I go ahead and do it. Fuck it. Life is too short. I had 17 years of a Catholic childhood, and that gave me more than enough guilt for two fucking lifetimes. How do you most enjoy spending your time? Going to excellent films at The Arclight Theatre in Hollywood, or sitting quietly, reading great books by P. G. Wodehouse or Agatha Christie. What celebrity do you have a crush on? Keanu Reeves. Who do you admire? Keanu Reeves. The guy is classy and cool. He’s the product of a good mom, I bet. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why? My beloved best friend that I ever had in my life, the late Iranian-American avant-garde theatre director, Reza Abdoh. He and I worked together for ten years and made ten shows together. He died of AIDS in 1995, and I still miss him and think of him every day. Best guy on earth, ever, by me. Where would you go in a time machine, and why? I’d go to Hollywood, California, at about 1912 or 1913. I’d break into silents at the very beginning. I’d get in on the ground floor. A new art form was being created, you know? The last art form, probably. What else can be done…? What would your last meal be? I dunno. A hunk of salmon, some veggies and rice, a glass of good red wine, a great cuppa coffee, and a slice of good chocolate cake for dessert.

What do you worry about? Money. But I don’t need much. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why? The oboe. I like the soothing sound, and it sounds very close to the human voice. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? A wolf, baby. Make no mistake about it. I might be a small, sneaky wolf, but a wolf nevertheless. Who depends on you? Nobody depends on me. Thank God. Who are you closest with? Four “kids” from the company of actors my friend Reza created to do his works, two old friends from a long-running show that I did in Boston in the early 1970s, and a newbie from Facebook—the fine young film director, Anoushirvan Masoudi. What would your autobiography be called? Either I Always Wanted to Be Here, or Thank God That’s Over. Do you ever put music on when you’re upset? No. No music. What’s on your bucket list? To get a regular or recurring role on some damned TV show that takes off and runs for 10 years, and to make beaucoup flicks for really good, artistic directors. What’s your greatest regret in life? I turned down a few gigs that might have led to more interesting work. Tell me something that you’ve never told anyone else. I’ve already told you enough. No mas, papi. Sorry. No hitherto unpublished secrets will be divulged here. Where can we see you? In the upcoming film Regarding the Case of Joan of Arc and in an episode in the upcoming web series Driven.

December 3, 2017April 1, 2018 MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

CATHY CRAIG

After performing in South Florida for over 30 years, few have the tenure that Cathy Craig does. Here, she regales about the Marlin Beach Hotel, the state of drag, and what her dream role is.

Where did you grow up? In Cleveland, Ohio. They call Cleveland the “mistake on the lake,” but I don’t know why. There’s fabulous education, medical facilities, museums, theater… How long have you lived in South Florida? Since 1984. What part of South Florida do you live in? I used to live in Fort Lauderdale, but I now live in Pompano Beach, in the Lighthouse Point area. What do you like most about living here? The weather, and the many wonder friends that I’ve met both on-and-off-the-stage and in retail. What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone? Of all the places that are gone from South Florida, the ones that I miss the most are Bobby Wynn’s restaurant, The Copa, and, of course, the wonderful Marlin Beach Hotel. Where do you hang out in South Florida? The restaurants and little shops in Wilton Manors, The Pub and the Coconut Creek Casino. What’s your claim–to–fame? I’ve won many Dixie Awards and a few titles along the way, but the thing that’s special to me was when I awarded the honorary Miss Florida Female Impersonator award in 2014. I also won a Lucille Ball lookalike contest over nine women at the Coconut Creek Casino, and it caused a scandal.

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How did you come up with your name? The first time I ever dressed up, I called myself “Lorraine.” Someone [Treva Trash] came over to me and asked me what my name was. I told her that it was Lorraine, but she said that I looked more like a “Cathy.” “Big Mama” gave me my last name, “Craig,” after Dr. Craig from General Hospital. Who’s the best drag queen or all time, and why? I’ve had many inspirations, but the one who comes to mind is Charles Pierce. He paved the way for a lot of entertainers, including RuPaul and Divine. He really brought drag to the forefront. Who’s the best national drag queen right now, and why? RuPaul, because of the road he’s paving for entertainers. Who’s the best local drag queen right now? There are so many, I don’t know where to begin. To name a few, I would say Nikki Adams, Tiffany Arrieaugus, Elektra, Amanda Austin, Dee Dee Van Carter, Francesca Richards, Sharde Ross and Brittany Moore. But I could go on for days… What was your favorite gig, and why? I’ll tell you two stories. I remember performing at the Marlin Beach Hotel with Nikki Adams, and I finished my number UNDERWATER (you could see underwater from the downstairs bar) so that everybody outside of the pool could watch. I made $1,000 in tips that night. I also played The Queen of Hearts at the Flagler Museum, and no one knew that I was a man until the press leaked it.

Do you think that drag is becoming too mainstream? No. I got into this to become mainstream. I would love to be in films and TV, either in or out of drag. How would you like to be remembered? As a good entertainer, a wonderful person and someone who was always available when needed. Will you ever retire? I don’t feel that I’ll ever retire. I’ve performed for over 40 years, and I don’t plan on retiring anywhere in the near future. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? The last thing that I looked up online, unfortunately, was about an ailment—and that’s not funny. What’s the best place that you’ve visited? I’ve been many places, but my favorites are Las Vegas and cruises. What’s your favorite movie? Mame, with Lucille Ball, of course. I’m such a fan of hers. What drives you crazy? Dishonesty. Just lay it on the table and suffer the consequences. Also, backstabbing. If I’m not fond of you, I’ll tell you. How would you feel if your pet was the master in heaven, and you were the pet? I have a wonderful little chihuahua, and I would think that I would be very lucky in heaven, because I knew that I was going to be spoiled.

Would you give a kidney to a relative or close friend? You better believe I would. But they better watch out, because I’m getting close to Depends age. How do you most enjoy spending your time? Going with my friends to movies, out to dinner and to thrift stores. As long as you have friends, you have everything. Who do you admire? Someone who’s not afraid to take a chance. They say to “take the bull by the horns,” but I was sometimes afraid that I would get stabbed. Where would you go in a time machine, and why? I would go to the past and I would change a few things. I would have been more prepared for retirement, I would have fearlessly pursued a larger career, and I would have taken care of my health. What would your last meal be? Probably macaroni and cheese made with fontina and gorgonzola. What do you worry about? I worry about the future and that no one will remember me. I also worry that I won’t be able to enjoy the rest of my life. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why? I’d be the piano. It’s the only instrument you really need. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? A sheep with a fluffy coat.

Who depends on you, and for what? It’s always been in my personality that I like people to depend on me. But the older I get, the less those people are around or they’ve passed on. Now I’m becoming the one who needs somebody. What would your autobiography be called? It would be called Laughing Large. Do you ever put music on when you’re upset? When I’m upset or depressed, I usually put something spiritual on. Or maybe just a fabulous female soul singer. What’s on your bucket list? I still have a lot of things on my bucket list. I always wanted to play Rose in Gypsy. What’s your greatest regret in life? My greatest regret in life is not ever having a long-term lover and not learning to play the piano. But not necessarily in that order. Tell me something that you’ve never told anyone else. That sometimes when I’m laughing on the outside, I’m crying on the inside. Where can we see you? On Facebook at William Lewis or at Cathy Craig Female Impersonator. You can also see some of my performances on YouTube.

December 3, 2017December 7, 2019 MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Restaurants

WHAT THE PHO?

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What’s “What The Pho?” It’s a Vietnamese restaurant in Wilton Manors. According to the website, it’s owned by a family member of Miami-Dade’s Miss Saigon Bistro chain. This is the owner’s first solo venture. How was the maître d’? Great. She was friendly and casual. What was the décor like? Industrial, but with evocations of jungles and Buddhist imagery. What was the seating like? There were a few seats at the bar. The rest of the seating was either traditional tables or high-top ones.

What was the atmosphere like? Considering that it was a Friday night at about 10:00 p.m., it was fairly crowded. What was the crowd like? It was about two-thirds gay. How’s the cruising? None really. When was happy hour? No happy hour. Does that make it a “sad” hour? What libations were ordered? They don’t serve liquor. They only have beer, wine and sake. However, they do have saketinis. They offer hot and cold sake. We ordered wine ($10) and hot sake ($10.95; and yes, quality sake should not be consumed hot).

Were they served timely? Yes. How were they? Nothing special. The sake and wine was average. Considering this, they’re overpriced. What was on the menu? As the name implies, the emphasis is on the pho. Pho is a noodle soup that consists of broth, rice noodles, herbs, and usually beef or chicken. They do offer a vegetarian version. There’s also a “Huey” special (named after the owner) that’s apparently popular.

What was ordered? For appetizers, we ordered the crispy spring rolls ($7.95 for two) and the crispy seafood spring rolls ($8.95 for four). For entrées, we ordered vegetarian pho ($13.95), spicy pork pho ($16.95) and chicken fried rice ($11.95). Was the food served timely? Yes.

How was the food? The crispy springs rolls had chicken and crab in them, and they were served with a fish-based “nuoc cham” dipping sauce. The fish-flavor in the sauce was subtle, and the balance of the competing elements in it was correct. However, the rolls themselves could have used more crab. The dish was also served with another undisclosed sauce. Perhaps soy sauce? The crispy seafood spring rolls were also served with the same nuoc cham sauce. Of the two dishes, the seafood spring rolls were better. Regarding the entrées, the pho was served with an over-flowing side of bean sprouts, basil, lime, and jalapeño peppers. Both dishes were excellent. The meat in the pork pho was in delicate strips. The tofu in the vegetarian pho is fresh and soft. The fried rice was okay, but there was a slightly glutinous consistency.

How was the service? Personable. What stands out about the place? The service and the pho. What could be improved? The food could use an element of surprise or hints of the exotic. Increase the caliber of the drinks, or reduce the prices. What was surprising? That toilet paper rolls were displayed outside of the bathrooms.

What The Pho? is located at 2033 Wilton Drive, in Wilton Manors, Florida. It’s open for lunch Tuesday through Saturday. Dinner is served daily. Consult the website for exact closing times, which range from 9:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.