Kermit Carpenter—master of the key lime pie—reveals what he did for 25 years on a corner, and who taught him to make his famous pies
Where did you grow up? In West Virginia until the eighth grade. Then, in Maryland. How long have you lived in South Florida? For 30 years. Why did you move here? For the warm weather. What part of South Florida do you live in? Key West. What do you like most about living here? The weather—the sun always shines—and the friendly people. What Key West venue do you miss that’s gone? Fast Buck Freddie. Where do you hang out in Key West? Any great Key West restaurant, such as Flaming Buoy, Onlywood or Azur. What’s your claim-to-fame? Twenty-five years working on the corner.
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Who are you named after? Teddy Roosevelt had a son named Kermit. He was in the news—he passed away the year I was born. My mom had run out of family names by the time I came along. So, I was named, “Kermit.” How did you learn to make key lime pie? My grandmother taught me how to make it. What are your favorite products at Kermit’s? Mango Strawberry Jelly, Corn Relish, Green Tomato Relish, and Sesame Seed Dressing. All of them have a taste of key lime. I start my day with jelly on toast, I have the salad dressing on my lunch, and I have chips with relish at night for a snack. Will you ever retire? No. And the employees will end up with the store, so that they can continue the tradition.
How would you like to be remembered? As someone who enjoyed life. What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked? “Can I move in with you?” What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around? Robin Roberts. What politician don’t you like? All of them. If you saw one of them drowning, would you save him or her? That’s a hard one. What’s your favorite drink? Red wine. What’s your most treasured possession? My mom’s violin (which I can’t play). Do you believe in ghosts? Maybe more in spirits or angels. Either living or dead, who would you love to have lunch with? Vicky “Tory” Pribble, my angel. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? A hand-sink for my new store in Key West. What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why? Rome, because of the food, and it’s a great place to walk.
What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older? Patience. What did you learn from your parents? Respect. What performer do you admire, and why? Bruno Mars, because he’s an unbelievable talent. How do you enjoy spending your time? I enjoy working 24/7, because I love what I’m doing. What celebrity do you have a crush on? Robin Roberts. Who do you admire, and why? I admire people who have strong personalities and know where they’re going. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be? No way. Where would you go in a time machine, and why? I’d go back to my youth, and I’d smack myself for not listening to good advice. What would your last meal be? Pizza.
What do you worry about? Hurricanes. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be? A piano. I love to sit in a restaurant with live music. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? A sheep. Who depends on you, and for what? My dog, and best friend, “Pirate.” Who are you closest with? My dog. What would your autobiography be called? Pie Master. What music do you listen to when you’re upset? None. What’s on your bucket list? My first cruise on October 18th—out of Rome—to visit four Greek islands… Plus more! What’s your greatest regret in life? Not getting focused soon enough. What’s something that you never told anyone else? That I love myself. Where can we see you? On the Koningsdam, on October 18. I’ll make you a pie.
OMG, Becky, it was, like, so cute! And the guys were adorable! Especially the super gay one, Zanna—who’s like a genie or a gay Dolly Levi or something—who has a magic wand that makes everyone fall in love. And he’s so great in every scene. Such a princess! All of this fabulousness takes place in a high school where you have to be gay or they throw you out. And so the captain of the football team falls in love with this guy who always wins at chess.
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I know it would never happen, but it does, and they’re so perfect together. They even sing a love song to each other. I just wanted to hug both of them, but I stayed in my seat. Zanna, Don’t! is a bit like Grease, with all these catchy songs. Really, it’s the gay cousin of Grease—only better, because it’s so cute. Everybody’s in love in it, until the football captain kisses the girlfriend of a waitress.
The two end up falling in love with each other, and it’s a mess, because the high school says that you have to be gay—but they’re straight for each other! So Zanna, the super gay genie, tries to make it all work out, but the football captain breaks Zanna’s magic wand at the prom, and then everyone who was gay becomes straight. I know, it sounds rather convoluted, but it all made sense with the music. There was even a standing ovation at the end when the entire cast sang the last song.
In the end, I don’t know what Zanna wasn’t supposed to do, but I guess he did it anyway. The show is in super-gay Wilton Manors, and if you want to see it, you should probably get tickets ahead of time, because it’s in a tiny theater. I was practically sitting on the stage. And the best part? The cast was in the lobby when you left the theater—thanking everyone for coming—and I got to talk to Zanna! How cool is that?!
Art Garfunkel played to a sold-out crowd in Fort Lauderdale on Thursday, but his voice was a “troubled water”
SHADE-O-METER RATING
2 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NOT FEELING IT”
Who’s Art Garfunkel? He’s a singer, poet and actor, and, most famously, he was part of the folk rock duo, Simon and Garfunkel. What’s Parker Playhouse? It’s a neo-classical theater in Fort Lauderdale. It opened in 1967, and it holds about 1,200 people. How was the venue? Slightly ostentatious. How was the parking? They have valet, or you can park in grass-lots and walk a short distance to the venue. Does the venue serve liquor? Yes. They have a full bar. How were the drinks? Wine was $9 for a single and $14 for a double. We didn’t get any liquor. Does the venue serve food? No. How much were the tickets? $52.50. Where were the seats? Towards the back. Was the show sold out? Yes. Was there an opening act? No. How was Garfunkel’s voice? Unfortunately, there wasn’t much there. And I had no idea that he lost it (from vocal fold paresis) until Garfunkel told the audience that it disappeared in 2010. But one wonders, if you’re a singer, why do shows—and charge the audience for tickets—with what appeared to be a chronically damaged voice? The desire to sing does not necessarily supplant one’s ability to do so.
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How was the show? One seldom sees less austerity in a concert. The set consisted of one keyboard, one piano, a couple of stools, and a table—that was it. Garfunkel and his two musicians—a pianist and guitarist—unceremoniously walked onto the stage to temperate applause. I’m not even sure that everyone realized it was him at first. The show, as described by Garfunkel, consisted of one-third poetry and two-thirds songs, and it was presented within the confines of legitimate theater. I.E., patrons were only shown to their seats in between numbers, and NO photography was allowed (I actually had to take notes by the dim illumination of an aisle light; not fun). The stage lighting was murky and virtually nonexistent, there were no video screens, a spotlight on him was conspicuously absent, and, if you weren’t close… Well, good luck discerning any facial features.
However, Garfunkel was an emotional singer, gesticulating with his hands and body in an organic manner, which does enhance the songs. He played a fair-amount of the Simon and Garfunkel catalogue, including “Scarborough Fair,”“Homeward Bound” (the last song before the intermission), and a souped-up version of “The Sound of Silence.” Regarding the poetry parts, and his intermittent banter (he has a dry, somewhat droll, sense of humor), some of Garfunkel’s more interesting comments were: “The 60s was a big decade for me.” “Do you remember a time before iTunes and cell phones?” And, “I was born in 1941. It’s how old I am; it’s how old you are. We’re all in this together” (which was met with chuckles from the audience). And finally, the moment came for the signature song, prefaced with, “If I don’t at least attempt ‘Bridge over Troubled Water,’ I won’t make it out of Fort Lauderdale alive. But there won’t be any high note.” And none there were.
How was the crowd? About Garfunkel’s age, which is 76. And when he rhetorically asked the audience what they thought was the best venue (answer: the Royal Albert Hall) that he ever played in, some moron yelled out, “Parker Playhouse.” Pure class. What could have improved the show? Nothing. If there’s no voice, bitch gotta’ give it up. What was surprising about the show? That despite what one may think about the show, at least have the courtesy to stay to the end. But about one-fifth of the crowd exited the theater as Garfunkel was singing his one encore.
Parker Playhouse is located at 707 Northeast 8th St., in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Canadian native and West Palm DJ Guy DeGiacinto talks about unsnapping bras at The Palace and what he’d do for a day if he was Oprah
Where did you grow up? In Cornwall, Ontario, which is the same city that Ryan Gosling is from. How long have you lived in South Florida? For three years. Why did you move here? To escape the brutal Canadian winters. What part of South Florida do you live in? We live in a community called Andros Isles, in West Palm Beach. What do you like most about living here? Until early January 2018, I would have said the warm weather (laughs)! What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone?The Copa. Where do you hang out in South Florida? Mostly in our yard by the pool, which is like a mini-jungle. It’s filled with many different types of orchids. What’s claim-to-fame? A DJ at many different venues, including Gay Days and Le Stud. How would you like to be remembered? As kind, compassionate and empathetic. Will you ever retire? Not as long as I remain relevant and my passion doesn’t become my “job.”
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Who would you like to be for a day? Oprah, and the day when she yelled to the audience, “You get a car! You get a car! You get a car…! Everybody gets a car!!” Do you believe in the afterlife? Yes. Who or what is the greatest love of your life? My husband, Charlie DeGiacinto. What talent would you most like to have? To be a good singer. What talent do you admire in other DJs? Their ingenious creativity, and the ability to remain approachable and well-grounded (for those that do). What kind of music do you like that might surprise people? French-Canadian folklore music. What’s your dream gig? Headlining at World Pride. What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked? “Could you unstrap my bra so that I can let these babies out to bounce to your phat beats?” That was said to me at The Palace. What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around? Madonna. What’s the last thing that you looked at online?Beatport.com, to buy some new music.
What the best place that you’ve visited, and why?Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. It’s a Pacific Coast city that’s very gay friendly, and I loved being part of nature, with the many species of wildlife. What did you learn from your parents? To always treat everyone with respect. What performer do you admire, and why? Charles Aznavour. He is 93-years-old and still performing. He could have retired a wealthy man many years ago, but his life is his music, and he will perform until the very end. What’s your best characteristic? That I’m an eternal optimist. How do you enjoy spending your time? Producing music in the studio, hanging out by the pool in our yard, scuba diving, travelling, and learning something new. What celebrity do you have a crush on? Well, until recently, it was Kevin Spacey. But I’ve always had a crush on Tom Selleck as well. Who do you admire, and why? I admire Tony Moran. He’s a legendary singer, music producer and DJ, but somehow he’s remained grounded, approachable and such a nice person.
If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why? My mom. She passed when I was 15, and I never got to come out to her. And—although I know she accepted me unconditionally—I would have loved to spend more time as an adult with her, which is when we develop a special friendship with our parents. Where would you go in a time machine, and why? Actually, I wouldn’t be going that far back. I’d like to return to the Olympia Theater in Paris in 1960 to see my all-time favorite singer Edith Piaf live in concert. What would your last meal be? Definitely a large pepperoni pizza with double everything! What do you worry about? Getting old, and remaining relevant in a youthful industry. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be? An accordion. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? A wolf. Who depends on you, and for what? Our white miniature schnauzer, Cody! I take care of him as my child, as he really is the child I never had.
Who are you closest with? Our friends Jim and Jerry, my BFF Karen Torrie-Racine (who’s someone I don’t see often), and my husband Charlie. What would your autobiography be called?Aucuns Regrets. What music do you listen to when you’re upset? French music—like Edith Piaf, Charles Aznavour and Michel Sardou. What’s on your bucket list? To visit and DJ in Australia. What’s your greatest regret in life? I was asked by my ex-partner in the 90s to choose between my music or a relationship. At the time, I chose the relationship, but somehow I lost both, because I wasn’t happy without my music. What’s something that you never told anyone else? I once dated a high school teacher, who, after I fell in love with him, told me that he was really a priest. I was crushed. Where can we see you? At Gay Days in Orlando, from May 30th to June 4th. The details about my set will be posted online very soon!
Where did you grow up?In West Linn, Oregon. What do you miss about it there?Burgerville, and the nice weather from July through September. Where do you live now? In New York City. If you have to live somewhere else, where would it be? Somewhere that’s warm! What’s one of your favorite New York venues, and why? The Rockwood Music Hall. It’s a great space, it has a great sound, and it always has a handful of new musicians to check out. What’s your claim-to-fame? That I once met Paul McCartney. Who’s your favorite female vocalist? Joni Mitchell. Who’s your favorite male vocalist?Jeff Buckley. Who’s your favorite jazz composer? Leonard Bernstein. What musician do you think is under-rated? Ringo Starr. What’s one of your most cherished collaboration experiences? That I get to work with incredible dancers and musicians through Damian Woetzel pretty often.
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What’s your dream gig? Any gig where I sing my own songs and people listen. What do you do to let your hair down? I remove my hair-tie. If you could only do one, would you rather be a recording artist or a live performer? A recording artist. What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked? “Can I have your shoes?” What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?Ben Folds. What’s your favorite musical?West Side Story. What’s your favorite movie?The Elephant Man. What drives you crazy? Public fingernail-clipping. How would you feel if your pet was the master in heaven, and you were the pet? I think I’d feel fine (I had three different cats as a kid). Would you give a kidney to a relative or close friend? Yes. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? A Google-image-search for Gregory Peck. What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why? The Oregon coast, because it’s a spectacular gift of nature. What did you learn from your parents? Perseverance.
What performer do you admire, and why? Bjork, because she’s prolific, unique, and does what she wants! What’s your best characteristic? That I don’t think about what I say before I say it. How do you enjoy spending your time? Listening to music, cooking, and watching first-rate crime TV. What celebrity do you have a crush on? I haven’t had a celebrity crush since Jeremy Sumpter played “Peter Pan” in 2003. Who do you admire, and why? My grandfather, because he was the first person to teach me not to care what other people think. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be? I don’t know… That’s the hardest question. Where would you go in a time machine? I would like to go back in time and be a fly-on-the-wall for the making of the Magical Mystery Tour.
What would your last meal be? If I truly didn’t have to suffer the consequences, it would be BBQ. What do you worry about? Just the usual existential anxiety. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be? A lute. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Who depends on you, and for what? My family, and for the obvious reasons. Who are you closest with? My boyfriend, because he’s my best friend, and he loves all the same weird stuff! What would your autobiography be called?Kert Dervis. What music do you listen to when you’re upset?Bad Brains. What’s on your bucket list? To live in a beach house. What’s your greatest regret in life? I have no regrets. What’s something that you never told anyone else? I’m not sure. That I blab…? Where can we see you? I play regularly in New York City at the Rockwood Music Hall, or at my website.
You won’t believe what Captain Beverley Bass—the real-life pilot who was immortalized in the hit musical Come From Away—is afraid of
Where did you grow up? In Fort Myers, Florida. Where do you live now? In, Argyle, Texas, which is just north of Fort Worth, Texas. What do you like about it there? The friendly people and the geographic location. What’s your claim-to-fame? In 1986, I became the first female captain for American Airlines, and now I’m a subject in a Broadway musical. Will you ever retire? Only when I can no longer fly jets. How would you like to be remembered? As a mentor who always tried to help young aviators pursue their dream. How often are you recognized in the audience of Come From Away? Actually, fairly often. I think it’s my white hair (laughs). How many times have you seen the show? Over 90 times. They’re going to have a party for me when I hit 100! What 9/11 story has moved you the most? I believe it may have been taking a pilot to Come From Away in D.C. His father was First Officer Thomas McGuinness, who was one of the pilots on the plane that hit the North Tower [of the World Trade Center]. It was the most emotional evening ever at the show.
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What’s your favorite musical? Well, that’s not a fair question. No doubt—Come From Away! What’s your second favorite musical? The Lion King. What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked? “What’s it like to be a girl pilot?” And to that I say, “Hmmm, I don’t know. I’ve never been a boy pilot” (laughs). What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?I’m not usually star-struck, so probably no one. What’s your current state-of-mind?I’m quite happy. I just learned that we’re going to the opening of Come From Away in Winnipeg! What were you doing before we spoke?I was drinking coffee at my favorite donut shop. What’s your idea of perfect happiness?Warm weather and walking the streets of New York before seeing Come From Away. What are your greatest fear?I’m terrified of snakes, and heights!
What’s the last thing that you looked at online?Well, Facebook, of course. What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why?Gander would no doubt be at the very top of my list. I love revisiting the beautiful souls of that region. What did you learn from your parents?That no dream is too big. What performer do you admire? Well of course that would be Jenn Colella, who plays me in Come From Away. What’s your best characteristic?Being insanely organized. How do you enjoy spending your time?Traveling and eating out. What celebrity do you have a crush on?Paul Newman and Robert Redford. I’m an old woman. Who do you admire?The first female military pilots. That was a huge break for women, and I’m jealous that I didn’t get that chance.
If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be?My father. He would be so thrilled to see Come From Away on Broadway. Where would you go in a time machine?Back to a kinder, gentler time before 24/7 news and the internet. What would your last meal be?A rack of lamb topped off with a pan of brownies. What do you worry about?My son, who’s learning-disabled and struggles through life. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be?A harp. I think that they make the most beautiful music. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?Absolutely a wolf. I’ve never been a follower, like a sheep. Who depends on you, and for what?My family does. And they depend on me for everything, because I’m a task-master, and I always get things done.
Who are you closest with?My best friend, Laurie. We met when we were 18-months-old. What would your autobiography be called?She Did it Her Way. What music do you listen to when you’re upset?Oldies from the 60s and 70s, but I’m not upset often. What’s on your bucket list?To go to Fogo Island in Newfoundland and to Iceland at Christmas. What’s your greatest regret in life?That I retired too early from American Airlines. What’s something that you never told anyone else?I’m pretty open, so I’m not sure what that would be. Where can we see you?Just Google my name with American Airlines or Come From Away, and you’ll see more than you need!
Tony Award nominee, Drama Desk Lifetime Achievement honoree and two-time MAC Award winner, Charles Busch, discusses his legendary career—including a chance encounter with Greta Garbo—before returning to the stage in South Florida and Chicago
Where did you grow up? In New York City. If you had to live somewhere other than New York, where would it be? I recently went out to dinner with a great group of people after a show in Birmingham, Alabama. We had such a fun, campy time, and I realized that it doesn’t really matter where you live if you have a group of dear friends. I think I may be learning to be less of a New York snob. What’s your claim-to-fame? To be considered truly famous, everyone’s mother needs to have heard of you. But I feel that my forty years of work as an actor, playwright and performer has endeared me to several generations of wonderful people. How would you like to be remembered? That I added a little color to an increasingly grey world. Will you ever retire? As long as I have energy and a decent memory, I’ll be out there slingin’ the one-liners and tossin’ the hips. I also still get great pleasure out of writing. I hope that enthusiasm never wanes. Who’s your favorite female performer from the 1930s and 1940s?Judy Garland. I continually learn about honesty and style from studying her performances. Who’s your favorite male performer from the 1930s and 1940s?James Cagney. He was a dynamic actor and performer. He also reminds me a lot of my father.
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Who’s your favorite female contemporary performer? Miley Cyrus. I’m glad that she’s grown out of her youthful rebellious phase, and I think that she has the talent and charisma to be truly great. Who’s your favorite male contemporary performer? I find Bruno Mars very interesting. What’s your favorite contemporary film? I’ve seen The Disaster Artist twice this week, and I love it. What playwright do you admire?Charles Ludlam and Tennessee Williams. I worship them both. Specifically, when I was 17-years-old, I saw Ludlam onstage in Eunuch of the Forbidden City, and I saw at that moment that anything was possible in the theater. What story needs to be told that hasn’t been told yet? How the lesbian community—particularly, in San Francisco—rallied and took care of gay men during the height of the AIDS crisis in the eighties. What’s your dream role? Peter Pan. Did you ever run into Greta Garbo in New York? Twice, as a teenager, I saw her striding up the street. One time I followed her into an empty store, and just being in her presence made me so light-headed that I finally had to run out. When she was in New York, It was like having a mythical unicorn in our midst… What politician don’t you like? They’re too many to list.
What’s your favorite drink?Jack Daniels with ginger ale. Or, a chocolate milkshake. What’s your most treasured possession? An original seven-foot nineteenth century poster of the great actress Sarah Bernhardt, by the artist Mucha. I had the small $4.95 print of it in my bedroom as a kid, and now I have the real deal. Still, if there was a fire, I wouldn’t risk my life trying to save it. Do you believe in ghosts? I would like to. There are so many people I would love to see again. Either living or dead, who would you like to have lunch with? The late film director, George Cukor. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? A video of a dog befriending a baby deer. I’m a real sucker for cute animal videos. What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why?Locarno, Switzerland. I was showing a movie of mine at a film festival, and I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the city. And I was also surrounded by a gorgeous group of gay men who found me fascinating. Heaven. What did you learn from your parents? My mother died when I was seven, so I don’t remember her well. My father introduced me to the magic of the theater. And for that, I’ll always be grateful. What’s your best characteristic? That I can throw myself into someone else’s fantasy of who they would like to be.
How do you enjoy spending your time? I’m so lucky that my work is also my great passion. I just love sitting at the computer working on a script; particularly, the editing and fine tuning. What celebrity do you have a crush on?Harry Styles and Mark Ruffalo. I have very eclectic tastes. Who do you admire? All of the people who are out in the cold demonstrating and resisting. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why? My Aunt Lillian, who raised me and saved me when I was at a terrible crossroads. I’d want her to know that things worked out and that all of her hard work and devotion paid off. Where would you go in a time machine, and why? To see Judy Garland at Carnegie Hall in 1961. What would your last meal be? The ridiculously obscenely expensive caviar that I’ve only read about, and a huge steamed lobster. What do you worry about? Losing my mind. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be? A small and very stylish old spinet piano, like the one in the movie Casablanca. It’s a bit old-fashioned, but you can play any tune on it.
Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? A wolf. I hate to say it, but a career of any success does leave some blood on the floor. Who depends on you, and for what? My sister, who’s currently living with me. She had some recent health issues, and for the first time, I’m learning to anticipate someone else’s needs. Who are you closest with? My sister, my nephew and a very intense circle of four, maybe five, friends. I’m very fortunate. What music do you listen to when you’re upset? Upbeat stuff, like The Andrews Sisters, The Supremes and Burt Bacharach. What’s on your bucket list? I want to make another movie! What’s your greatest regret in life? I deeply regret a few selfish and insensitive blunders that I’ve made. But I’d like to think that I’ve learned something from them. What’s something that you never told anyone else? That I live for the anecdote and to entertain. In doing so, I’ve probably told every outrageous and intimate episode of my life to either an individual or an audience. Where can we see you? I’ll be at Palm Beach Dramaworks on January 12 in West Palm Beach, and at Pride Films and Plays on January 21 and 22 in Chicago.
In a two-part exclusive, founding club kid, artist and promoter Michael Tronn tells us why he’d like to travel into the future, and how reanimating evil could help save the world
What Los Angeles venue do you miss that’s gone? “Osko’s,” a.k.a., “The Zoo.” I never made it there, but the film Thank God It’s Friday was shot there, and it looks amazing! What’s the best event that you produced in Los Angeles, and why? Halloween at Avalon was incredible. I transformed the old theater into a haunted house, complete with a castle façade. We also had gruesome acts of dismemberment in the lobby and dozens of chandeliers made of skeleton bones hanging over the dancefloor. What opportunity did Miami miss out on? Developing an industry other than tourism and retail. The worst offense is the missed opportunity to have The Whitney Museum from New York open a Miami branch. What project are you the proudest of? I’d like to think it hasn’t happened yet. However, I’m very proud of my two major solo art shows in Miami. How would you like to be remembered? As a good person who helped heal the world. Will you ever retire? That’s unlikely, but I’ll take long sabbaticals to travel and create art. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? The Studio 54 book by Ian Schrager.
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What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why? Petra, in Jordan. To have seen firsthand this city from 312 BC, which was carved into a mountain, was awesome and awe-inspiring. It’s an incredible feat of designing and engineering. Whatdid you learn from your parents? Love, tenacity and creativity. What performer do you admire, and why? As cheesy as it is to say, the greatest showman of our time is Madonna.
Obviously, it’s not innovative to cite her, but nobody else has so many facets, and nobody else has done it the same way. Most people don’t see all the hidden meaning—the subconscious—that’s in her art. This is especially true with the Music album, which is laden with numerical, color, and geometrical symbolism, and the video for “What It Feels Like for a Girl,” where every shot contains a visual riddle about spirituality and Kabbalah. What are your best characteristics? Creativity, empathy and spiritual understanding. How do you enjoy spending your time? Creating art and literature, plotting my mission out, meditating in the sun, and swimming in the clear ocean when it’s like bathwater. What celebrity do you have a crush on? Matt Bomer and James Franco.
Who do you admire, and why? Everyone who’s courageous enough to be unique who’s brave enough to think both deeply and critically. Specifically, Jesus, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Buddha, Albert Einstein, Helen Keller, Rumi and Carl Sagan. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why? The worst person in the world—and you can fill in the blank there—and Jesus. I believe that after we leave this body, we’re able to see ourselves in hindsight clearly. If I brought back a malevolent spirt, with everything that’s going on in the world right now, he or she could teach all of the prejudiced, hateful, scared-shitless people how wrong being that way is. And, hopefully, they would listen. As far as Jesus goes, I’d expect that the bigots who think they’re very “Christian” would deny Jesus if He told them to stop acting that way, which is pathetic and tragic.
Where would you go in a time machine, and why? I’d travel to the future—and I’d go as far as I’d have to go—when there’s peace on earth. I’d go there because I want to see what I want the world “to be.” What would your last meal be? As reprehensible as it is to admit it, I love the taste and texture of fois gras. I learned about it as a child, way before I knew how it was made. I feel very bad for the geese, but I can’t say that it’s not delicious. What do you worry about? How I can be a catalyst to help cure the ignorance of mankind. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why? I can’t be just one; I have too many sides. I’d be the flute, the electric guitar, the Theremin, a giant gong, a crystal singing bowl, an organ, and a sitar. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? I’m a sheep in wolf’s clothing. I’m soft and sweet on the inside, but I have to be strong on the outside to get things done. Who depends on you, and for what? My friends and family. I give them love, support, unconditional loyalty, and I help them make decisions (when they ask for it).
Who are you closest with? My immediate family. What would your autobiography be called? Probably Fuck Shame. Strip Fear. Do you ever put music on when you’re upset? Yes. I listen to lots of downtempo electronica, plus, my go-to’s—Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of The Moon, Tracy Chapman’s New Beginnings, Audioslave, Moby, Deva Premal, meditation music and Creed. What’s on your bucket list? To accomplish all of my artistic goals. That way, I’ll leave a legacy that helps transform mass ignorance and fear into mass understanding, wisdom, acceptance, love and enlightenment for every soul in the entire universe. Also, I’d like to publish the children’s book that I’ve been working on, which is about the universe. What’s your greatest regret in life? That I can’t stay younger, longer. But it’s not for vanity. I need more time to accomplish my goal. Can you tell me something that you never told anyone else? Maybe one day. Where can we see you? At michaeltronn.com and michaeltronnfineart.com. And, always, at the Bareback Follies at El Tucan.