MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

NIKKI ADAMS

As a LGBT philanthropist, MC, and winner of multiple South-Florida pagents, as well as the star of lavish productions at The Copa for many years, few can match Nikki Adams.  But what could she turn into that no one knows about?

Where did you grow up?  In a small town called Jennerstown, in Southwestern Pennsylvania.  How long have you lived in South Florida?  For 41 years.  Why did you move here?  I had to get out of the small-town mentality.  What part of South Florida do you live in?  In the Hollywood area.  What do you like most about living here?  The weather.  What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone?  The Copa.  Where do you hang out in South Florida?  At home, because I get enough social activity through work.  What’s your claim-to-fame?  I’ve been a performer and community activist in South Florida for a long time, and I won the Miss Florida Pageant in 1981.

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What contribution to South Florida LGBT community are you proudest of?  Raising millions of dollars over the years for charities.  What’s the best gig you ever did, and why?  A New Year’s night at Ozone, when the audience crowd-surfed me from the stage, around the bar, and then back to the stage.  How did you come up with your name?  I was named by my drag mother—Tiny Tina—after a 60’s sci-fi actor—Nick Adams—who was blonde, with blue eyes.  How would you like to be remembered?  As alive!  Will you ever retire?  That’s doubtful.  What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked?  “Can I get change from that $5 that I tipped you?”

WITH HER PARENTS

What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?  All of the ones that I’ve met.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  Shopping sites.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited?  Paris.  And I’m going back for my fourth trip there in the spring, because I love that city.  What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older?  Patience.  What did you learn from your parents?  To love and to be loved.  What performer do you admire, and why?  Latrice Royale, because she’s made her way with grace and humility.

What’s your favorite movie?  Auntie Mame.  What drives you crazy?  Stupidity.  How would you feel if your pet was the master in heaven, and you were the pet?  I’d feel awesome!  I’d be fed to my content and I’d get belly rubs!!  Would you give a kidney to a relative or close friend?  Yes.  What’s your best characteristic?  Honesty.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  By relaxing with my pets.  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  Adam Pascal.  Who do you admire, and why?  My dad.  He’s the smartest and most compassionate person that I know.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why?  My mom, because I miss talking to her.  Where would you go in a time machine, and why?  To the future, when we elect a new president.

What would your last meal be?  A ribeye steak, asparagus with hollandaise, and chocolate cake.  What do you worry about?  Bills!  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why?  A piano, because it can play many notes at once.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  Neither—I’m a cougar!  Who depends on you?  My pets.  Who are you closest with?  My friend, Melissa.  What would your autobiography be called?  Live, Live, Live!  What music do you listen to when you’re upset?  Broadway music.  What’s on your bucket list?  To visit the Far East. What’s your greatest regret in life?  I have none.  I learn from my mistakes.  What’s something that you never told anyone else?  That I could easily be a recluse.  Where can we see you?  On Tuesdays, for Trivia Night at Smarty Pants.  And in a city near you!

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Events

JOHN WATERS

John Waters debuted his new show, A Filthy World, in Fort Lauderdale last Saturday, to an almost sold-out crowd 

SHADE-O-METER RATING

OUTTA 5 WERKS: “10s ACROSS THE BOARD – LEGENDARY STATUS”

Who’s John Waters?  I think we all know who he is.  If you’re the one-in-a-million who doesn’t, look him up.  What’s Sunshine Cathedral?  It’s a predominately LGBT church/performing arts venue (yes, just like the original Ryman Auditorium, sans the LGBT part).  How was the venue?  For the most part, it looked like a modern church.  But there weren’t any wood pews (thank God).  The seats were comfortable.  The main décor on the stage were spotlight urns, which has sticks fanning out of them (very Blair Witch).  How was the parking?  Parking was available in various grass-lots, which only required a short walk to the venue.  Does the venue serve liquor?  I saw a few people with beer bottles in their hands, so there must be some type of cabaret license—probably for beer and wine only.  How were the drinks?  We didn’t get any.  Does the venue serve food?  Nope.  How much were the tickets?  $30.  Where were the seats?  Towards the back, but there really was no bad seat in the venue.  According to the website, it holds 450 people.  Was the show sold out?  Just about.  Who was the opening act?  Unless you count the one drag queen who sauntered up and down the aisle a few times as an “opening act,” there wasn’t any.

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How was the show?  To begin, Waters wasn’t quite the most natural or humanistic performer.  And for all intents and purposes, the show really was a scripted comedy show—it wasn’t simply him discussing his career.  Considering this, Waters wasn’t as proficient in this arena as, for example, Chris Rock or Gilbert Gottfried.  The show was loosely framed around several themes: Trump/politics (with Trump characterized as a “shithole in the White House” and an “orange anus”), a satirical look at what a “President Waters” administration would be like, the contradiction between being irreverent versus owning three houses, Hollywood directors and Hollywood itself, his film career (which took up half the show; Female Trouble probably got the loudest applause), and, finally, his desires for the future (i.e., open a store, have a fashion line, continue writing and touring).  As contained in Water’s films, he seemed to find the greatest glee in the off-beat and the absurdities of life.

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Some of the better lines in the show were: “Old chickens make good soup.  Hunting isn’t a sport if the animals aren’t trained to shoot back.  I was at a party, and they handed poppers to a young person, and they drank them.  I feel bad for drag queens today; who would want to be Melania Trump?  Wouldn’t Hairpie be a great title for a porn spoof of Hairspray?  We’re [me and my actors] all going to be buried in plots near Divine; it’ll be called Disgraceland.  The only way that kids can rebel today is to tell their parents that they don’t want a phone.  We have too many gays already; new ones should have to ‘audition’ on a reality show.  Can you imagine a scatological porn version of Schindler’s List called Shitler’s List?  Everything is so PC today; you can’t even call someone a ‘cocksucker’ anymore.”  Waters closed the formal part of the show with a kind of poetic discourse about how his dreams came true because of “you, the audience,” but he urged them to stay on the “other side of dreamland,” like in Fort Lauderdale, which always had—among other things—the best hustlers.

How was the crowd?  They laughed, but there wasn’t any on-the-floor guffawing going on or any displays of uncontrollable stitches.  What could have improved the show?  The venue needs to teach some of the ushers some manners.  The producer made a pre-show announcement that no video recording was allowed.  I tried to take a picture when Waters came on the stage, but I barely had the phone up before an usher slammed his hand down on my shoulder, informing that no video was allowed.  When I clarified that I wasn’t taking video, he said that “no pictures were allowed, either.”  That’s all fine and dandy, but you need to tell the audience that first.  Very rude behavior, if you ask me.

What was surprising about the show?  Waters did a Q&A for a good 20 minutes at the end, with the house lights up, and, although it wasn’t necessarily shocking that he did it, I certainly wasn’t expecting it.  It was during this section that the full personality—more or less—was on display, and what Waters might have previously lacked in performance acumen during the formal set, he made up for during this segment.  The Q&A was prefaced with, “I’ll answer anything.”  During it, he discussed how the internet has hooked up the world to the point where you can create anywhere, but there are still a few cities left that have “local color” (for example, Baltimore).  How his books sell better than his last film did.  How one of his favorite recent films was Mom and Dad.  How “no’s” are free, but you only need one “yes” to make it in show business.  How dogs have been sentenced to a lifetime of “human caresses.”  That after he met Clint Eastwood, the press coined the meeting as, “The Odd Couple.”  How Divine could make it today, since it’s even easier to make “underground” films now.  His thoughts on glory holes (he likes them).  And, lastly, Waters urged the audience to keep creating.  For, “It’s easy to shock.  But it’s much harder to make people laugh at what they’re uncomfortable with—that’s what I always tried to do.”

Sunshine Cathedral is located at 1480 Southwest 9th Ave., in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Restaurants

CAFE BEIGNET

SHADE-O-METER RATING

3 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NO SHADE, BUT SHE DIDN’T TURN IT OUT”

What’s Café Beignet?  It’s a chain of three cafes in New Orleans.  We went to the Royal St. location in the French Quarter, which is located in a converted 1800s carriage house.  Was there an age restriction?  No (and there were plenty of kids there).

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What time did we go?  About 1:00 p.m.  Was there a maître d’?  No.  You seat yourself.  What was the décor like?  It’s evocative of a typical French café or bistro.  What was the seating like?  There are some seats inside, but there are even more outside.

What was the atmosphere like?  Rather upscale, yet casual.  It’s crowded as well, since it’s small.  What was the crowd like?  A mix of tourist and locals, but heavier on the tourists I think.  It’s certainly not the McDonald’s crowd.  How was the cruising?  Bonne chance avec sa ici.

When’s happy hour?  There’s isn’t any.  What libations were ordered?  They only serve beer and wine.  We got one chardonnay for $15.00.  Were they served timely?  You place your order at the counter, and a server brings the food to you.  However, you carry the beverage to the table yourself.

How was the wine?  Fine, for “table” wine.  What was ordered?  We ordered two muffalettas at $9.99 each, two bowls of gumbo at $9.99 each, an andouille sausage omelet for $9.99, and a breakfast sandwich for $7.99.  Was the food served timely?  For the most part, the wait was consistent with the venue.  However, don’t go if you’re in a rush.

How was the food?  Pretty good.  The muffaletta bread was excellent, and the meat and spices in it were right-on.  But the gumbo was thin and lacked flavor.  The andouille sausage in the omelet tasted more like kielbasa sausage than like andouille, and I’m not sure if that was an unexpected surprise or a negative feature.  However, the beignets are great (but they better be if you’re going to name the restaurant after them).

How was the service?  Okay.  However, the timing of the orders was inconsistent.  The omelet was brought out way after the other items.  What stands out about the place?  The locale.  The outdoor seating-area is picturesque, and it’s right next to a historic building that’s used as a police station.

What could be improved?  The prices should be lowered a bit (they’re a little high for what you get; particularly, that wine), the service needs to be consistent, and the food quality should be improved for some of the dishes.  What was surprising?  The hung guy in a loincloth who was playing a saxophone right outside the restaurant.

Café Beignet is located at 334 Royal St., in New Orleans, Louisiana.  It’s open daily from 7:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m.

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Restaurants

BRENNAN’S

SHADE-O-METER RATING

2 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NOT FEELING IT”

What’s Brennan’s?  It’s a creole restaurant in the French Quarter in New Orleans.  The restaurant is known for brunch and for the creation of the Bananas Foster desert.  It was founded by Owen Brennan in 1946, and then re-established in 2014.  The building dates to 1795.

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What time did we go?  1:00 p.m.  How was the maître d’?  The mortician/maître d, was, I believe, the rudest and most dyspeptic one that I’ve ever encountered.  We had reservations (of course), and when we went to the reservation area to be seated, the maître d instructed, “You need to wait right here.”  And we weren’t the only party that was subjected to such pleasantries.  Another party was told, “Stop.  You can’t go past this rope.  You have to wait here.”  I also held the velvet rope’s pole in place for the maître d as he silently fumbled to adjust it, and he didn’t even have the curtesy to thank me.  As if all this embalming-preparation wasn’t enough, there was also final shade given at the end of the meal.  As we left the restaurant, we walked right through an empty foyer and right past the maître d, and he didn’t say one word.

What was the décor like?  Fabulous and definitely a high point—it’s one of the few saving graces about the place.  The gouache murals in the main dining room, the Chanteclair Room, display beautiful vintage carnivale scenes of whimsy.

What was the seating like?  There are two indoor dining areas, and one outdoor one.  However, they weren’t seating anyone outdoors.  What was the atmosphere like?  Loud.  What was the crowd like?  Somewhat uppidity, and heavy on locals.  Granted, this was the Friday before Mardi Gras, so it’s possible that the crowd was skewed because of the holiday.

How was the cruising?  None.  The queens are incognito here.  What libations were ordered?  We ordered a Cajun Bloody Mary for $10, and a Brandy Milk Punch for $9.  Were they served timely?  Not really.  They came after the soup, and shortly before the entre.

How were they?  The server claimed that the bloody Mary was rated as one of the “top five” in the city.  It was pretty good, but it could have been a tad bit stronger.  However, the “Marys” weren’t served consistently.  One drink was served with pickled okra, but the other two were denied that tidbit—those two poor Marys.  As far as the Brandy Milk Punch went, it was really nothing more than a glorified White Russian.  But the situation gets better.  When this drink was about three-fourths done, we noticed a chip in the glass and pointed this out to the server.  He apologized for the glass and took it away, but supplied no replacement drink!

What was ordered?  A two-course lunch (seafood gumbo and a creole-spiced shrimp salad) for $29, eggs Benedict for $19, country-fried pork chops for $27, an appetizer seafood gumbo for $10, and pumpkin-seed-crusted redfish for $28.  Was the food served timely?  Yes.

How was it?  Overall, the food was excellent, but not superlative.  The gumbo had oysters in it (a nice touch), but the base lacked sufficient flavor and richness.  The Canadian bacon in the egg’s Benedict was cured with coffee, and it mixed with the egg’s red-wine reduction sauce in a pleasant manner.  The salad had complements of thyme, and the shrimp in it was very fresh.  The pork chop was tasty and high-quality, and the combination of pomegranate butter, pumpkin puree, and kale pumpkin seeds in the redfish was like a delectable and edible fall-foliage display.  But there were also some inconsistencies.  One gumbo had several whole oysters in it, but the other one had just a few measly chopped-up pieces in it.

How was the service?  Not so great.  The server wasn’t so friendly, and he also looked down at the bill to see what his tip was—18 percent, and then he made a face when he didn’t like what he saw—once he thought he was out of eyesight.  What stands out about the place?  Really, only the décor.  That, and I suppose its reputation.

What could be improved?  You name it.  But let’s start with the mortician, and then go from there.  What was surprising?  That the bread that was served at the beginning of the meal was really just a po-boy roll, and it was served on top of a cloth napkin.

Brennan’s is located at 417 Royal St., in New Orleans, Louisiana.  It’s open daily from breakfast to 10:00 p.m.  The restaurant closes for a few hours between brunch and dinner, but The Roost Bar remains open. 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

GLENDA GRAINGER

From acting and singing in film, TV and the stage, to a career as a recording artist, Glenda Grainger’s tenure in show business is nothing short of prolific.  But how did she save herself from almost performing nude in San Juan? 

Where did you grow up?  In London, England.  How long have you lived in South Florida?  Over 40 years, except for four years, from 2001 to 2005.  Why did you move here?  Because I couldn’t stand the cold in New York.  I came to Florida, felt the warm sun and the lovely sea, and I said, “This is for me!”  What part of South Florida do you live in?  I’m in Pompano Beach now, but I’ve lived all over South Florida.  I was a gypsy. What do you like most about living here?  The weather and the easier lifestyle.  What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone?  The Sheraton Bal Harbor, where I appeared many times, many years ago.  Where do you hang out in South Florida?  Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of time to “hang out” when I’m not working.  What’s your claim-to-fame?  I made movies in France, Mexico, and one with Jerry Lewis.  I also did The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson several times, and I made several recordings in London and New York.

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How would you like to be remembered?  As a good singer and performer, and as a good and caring person.  Will you ever retire?  No!  As long as my voice is still strong, and my sense of humor is still intact, I will never stop singing professionally.  Who’s your favorite composer, and why?  That’s a hard one to answer.  I would say all the Great American Songbook composers and lyricists, because of the wonderful melodies and the complex and special lyrics.  What’s your favorite song by another musician, and why?  That’s another hard question to answer.  There are too many wonderful singers to choose from.  What’s your favorite song that you recorded, and why?  A song that I recorded in London many, many years ago, called “Who.”  It’s a wonderful recording, with beautiful lyrics written by Don Black.  What was your best celebrity experience?  Touring major cities with Milton Berle.  He treated me and my late first husband like family.

What was your impression of Jerry Lewis?  Not a good one.  Enough said!  What was your favorite variety/talk show that you performed on, and why?  The Tonight Show, with Johnny Carson.  He was the consummate host, and he put me at ease.  Also, my own variety TV show—with musicians, dancers and different acts—which was filmed in Mexico City.  What singer do you think is overrated?  Several of the younger ones who don’t know how to “read” a lyric, and just keep repeating the same words over and over.  Don’t get me started…  What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you onstage?  I was appearing in San Juan at the Caribe Hilton, and I had on a very tight form-fitting dress.  Suddenly, the entire zipper in the back broke (from the neck to under the butt), and I didn’t wear a bra or panties under this dress—just a g-string.  I whipped a tablecloth off a nearby table, wrapped and tied it around my waist, and continued singing without even a blink of an eye—I got the best applause of my career that night!

What’s your dream gig?  A big concert, in a beautiful theater, with a 40-piece orchestra.  What’s the best show you ever did?  When I did my act at The Maisonette at The St. Regis Hotel in New York.  What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked?  There’s too many to recount.  They were usually about my “accoutrements!”  What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?  Well, I had a very close relationship for over three years with Yul Brynner, but I wouldn’t say that I acted like a “fan” around him.  He was a great guy!  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  My Facebook page.  I was checking to make sure that I was still there.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited?  Juan-les-Pins, when I was 19, and Hawaii, three years ago.  What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older?  To not sweat the small stuff.  What did you learn from your parents?  To be respectful of other people’s feelings.

What performer do you admire, and why?  Marilyn Maye, because at 90-years-old, she’s still singing, and she’s still interpreting the lyrics.  She’s a great lady and great performer.  What’s your best characteristic?  My sense of humor—and my boobs!  Who would you like to be for a day, and why?  George Gershwin.  To be able to write such fantastic music, both pop and symphonic.  Do you believe in an afterlife?  I’d like to.  Who or what is the greatest love of your life?  My two deceased husbands.  What talent would you most like to have?  To be able to play great jazz piano.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  Reading, knitting and writing.  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  Tom Hanks.  He’s a great actor.  Who do you admire, and why?  Marilyn Maye again, for her talent and her longevity in showbiz.

WITH JERRY LEWIS

If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why?  Can I have two?  Lennie and Jerry, my two deceased husbands, because they gave me the happiest years of my life.  Where would you go in a time machine, and why?  Back to the late 40’s and 50’s, because that was the big-band era.  It had great, swinging music.  What would your last meal be?  Chocolate!  What do you worry about?  Very little.  Life’s too short—and good—to waste time worrying.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why?  A cello, because it has deep, majestic sounds, and it’s clasped between the knees of the player.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  A cougar, dahling!  Who depends on you?  My little poodle, Gigi.

Who are you closest with?  A close girlfriend of over 55 years, who lives in Hawaii.  What would your autobiography be called?  A Love Affair…  With Music.  What music do you listen to when you’re upset?  I’m almost never upset, but usually female singers like Anita O’Day, Laura Fygi or Rosemary Clooney.  What’s on your bucket list?  To travel both to Tahiti and back to the south of France, a river cruise along the French Riviera, and the aforementioned concert with an orchestra!  What’s your greatest regret in life?  Not continuing my movie career when I had the chance.  What’s something that you never told anyone else?  What, you want me to tell you?!  No way!  Where can we see you?  At Chardees on the first and third Thursday of every month, at the Boca Raton Museum of Art on the second Thursday of every month, and at the Miami Shores Country Club on the last Friday of every month.

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Events

2018 MARDI GRAS FLOATS

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As New Orleans celebrates its tricentennial, Mardi Gras swings into action from January 27 to February 13 in uptown New Orleans, as well as in the surrounding areas.  This year’s floats contained an abundance of political satire – both local and national – as well as the trademark whimsy and outlandishness.  Featuring parades from the Krewe of the Druids, the Krewe of Nix (the largest all-female crew), the Knights of Babylon, the Krewe of Muses, and the Krewe of Hermes.

 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Interviews

STEPHEN MICHAEL SHEARER

From acting in the TV series Dallas, to interviewing silent screen stars, Stephen Michael Shearer’s career encapsulates a prodigous myriad of Hollywood genres.  But who would he like to have sitting on his lap in heaven?  

Where did you grow up?  I was born in Bloomington, Illinois.  For my first eight years, we lived on a small five-acre farm in Farmer City, Illinois.  We lived in St. Louis for three years, and then when I was 11, we moved to Rogers, Arkansas.  What do you miss about it there?  I miss the bucolic, small-town life.  As complicated as we thought the world was then, it was quite easy and safe by today’s standards.  Where do you live now?  I’ve lived in Woodbury, Minnesota, since 2008.  What do you like most about living there?  I like the political bubble, the religious freedom, and the educational climate.  And when the weather’s beautiful here, it’s beautiful.  But when it’s bad, it’s bad.  If you had to live somewhere else, where would it be, and why?  In New York, because that’s where I spent half of my adult life.  What’s your claim-to-fame?  In my younger years, I was an actor on the stage, in movies, and on national and local television.  I was also a live-ramp and photographer’s model.  But I suppose my one true claim-to-fame would be my three best-selling film biographies.  What’s the best TV show that you performed in, and why?  Of course the TV series Dallas—I was in it from 1981 to 1982—simply because that’s what most people seem to want to hear about.

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What TV actor was your favorite to work with, and why?  Patrick Duffy, because he’s a very kind and generous man.  What’s the best film that you performed in?  All my film work, what there is of it, has been my favorite.  What film actor was your favorite to work with?  I must say I enjoyed lengthy and multiple interviews with Paul Newman, Robert Stack, Gary Conway, Dirk Benedict and Anthony Franciosa.  What’s your favorite contemporary film?  One of the best films that I’ve seen in a very long time was Dunkirk.  Brilliant.  What’s your favorite TV series?  Peyton Place, without question.  What’s your favorite black and white film?  I never get tired of viewing Brief Encounter, but that’s truly a terribly unfair question for a film historian.  Who’s your favorite film actress?  Patricia Neal, of course.  What are your favorite plays, and why?  I love The Women because of its snappy wit, The Phantom of the Opera for its timeless romance and music, and The Lion in Winter for its brilliant script.  What’s your favorite theater in New York, and why?  The Lunt-Fontanne, because of the many plays I saw there.  I just love that theater.  Either living or dead, what Hollywood figure would you love to have lunch with, and why?  Lillian Roth, because I never got all the answers from her that I wanted.

Other than your own, what’s your favorite biography, and why?  I’ll Cry Tomorrow, simply because it was the cornerstone of what type of literature I began reading at the age of ten.  How would you like to be remembered?  As a decent and fair man, and as a complicated and talented man.  Will you ever retire?  Nope.  What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked?  “Are you Jewish?”  What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?  Dorothy Malone.  What’s your current state-of-mind?  I worry about the current worldliness and sense-of-entitlement of the youth.  And at the risk of sounding pious, there also seems to be no reliability on faith or the power and grace of God.  What were you doing before we spoke?  Answering more questions.  What’s your idea of perfect happiness?  The same as I envision what heaven will be like.  All my cats—both past and present—are on my lap, I’m in a big cushy chair, and I’m surrounded by my books and the greatest music of all time.  What’s your greatest fear?  To be misunderstood…  and forgotten.  Living or dead, who’s the greatest political figure in America, and why?  I believe one of the greatest political figures was John F. Kennedy.  He was a true statesman and a brilliant politician with an intelligent, articulate mind.

What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  My website.  What’s the best places that you’ve visited?  Martha’s Vineyard, London and Athens.  What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older?  That at some point you can start saying “no.”  What did you learn from your parents?  To do as they said, but not always as they did.  What performer do you admire?  Meryl Streep, personally, but not always professionally.  What’s your best characteristic?  That I’m honest.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  Reading, studying film and television, and researching at marvelous archives and libraries.  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  I don’t have any.  Who do you admire, and why?  I admire true Christian people who walk the walk and do not just talk the talk.  Humanitarians, who follow the words of Jesus Christ for the betterment of all mankind, but not the pious, religious moral-majority who favor the elite and wealthy.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why?  I miss my parents from time-to-time.

Where would you go in a time machine, and why?  I would love to be in Hollywood under contract with Paramount in 1929.  To me, that was the most exciting time.  What would your last meal be?  Just lemonade.  What do you worry about?  Very little.  I worry about illness to me and my loved ones.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why?  A cello, because it’s sensual.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  I’m a lamb.  Who depends on you?  My two cats, Maxwell and Madeleine.  Who are you closest with?  Myself.  What would your autobiography be called?  There are actually three—Little Boy Blue (1951-1969), Storming Heaven (1970-1982), and All My Sin Remembered.  The last one will be published posthumously.  What music do you listen to when you’re upset?  Motown, baby.  And, of course, Dusty Springfield.  What’s on your bucket list?  To win an Academy Award, and to write dozens more film biographies.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  I have no regrets. What’s something that you never told anyone else?  That I’m really a terribly shy man.  Where can we see you?  I’m all over YouTube, you can see me in Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story, on American Masters on May 18th, and I’ll have another book out by 2020.

 

 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Restaurants

THE LOBBY BAR AT THE HOTEL COLONNADE

SHADE-O-METER RATING

3 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NO SHADE, BUT SHE DIDN’T TURN IT OUT”

What’s the Hotel Colonnade?  It’s a vintage gilded-age hotel – circa 1926 – that’s located on Miracle Mile in Coral Gables.  What’s The Lobby Bar?  It’s the one, and only, bar in the hotel.  However, she ain’t in “the lobby” but on the second floor.

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An architectural history of Coral Gables, Florida, which is profusely illustrated in color and black and white.

How was the maître d’?  There was no maître d’ for the bar.  What was the décor like?  The lobby bar marries modern architecture with a vintage design—predominately, with Art Deco.  Ditto for the décor in the rest of the hotel.  However, the design in the rotunda was the exception; it was neoclassical.

What was the seating like?  We got there at about 5:30 p.m., on a Saturday, and the bar was crowded with wedding patrons.  However, there were more than enough seats for everyone.  What was the atmosphere like?  Moderately upscale and chill.  What was the crowd like?  It was composed mostly of wedding patrons, but peppered with a few regular hotel patrons and guests.

How was the cruising?  Zero, point, zero.  When is happy hour?  It’s from 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m., Monday through Thursday, and from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m., on Friday.  What libations were ordered?  A sidecar, which was $11, and Mountain View chardonnay, which was $9.

Were they served timely?  There were no servers; you could only order at the bar.  How were they?  The wine was fine.  According to the hotel’s website, the bar serves handcrafted cocktails.  Considering this, I’ve certainly had sidecars that were stronger and more complex.

What was on the menu?  The hotel only servers breakfast – in the Aragon Café – to 11:30 a.m.  For room service, or anything beyond 11:30 a.m., guest and patrons can order from a restaurant that’s next door, and the hotel delivers it to you for free.  We didn’t order any food.  However, there’s a little Argentinian market/café around the corner, called Graziano’s, that has fabulous empanadas.

How was the service?  The bartender was friendly enough, with a breezy sort-of air about him.  What stands out about the place?  Obviously, the history and the décor.  If it wasn’t for that, it really wouldn’t be worth it.

What could be improved?  Now, here’s where we start with some complaining.  Wedding patrons had essentially co-opted the EN-TIRE hotel.  They proliferated in the lobby, the game room, the bar, as well as the main staircase that leads up to the bar.  Not only were they all over the place, but as it got closer to the time that the wedding was about to begin, one was muscled – by hotel personnel who didn’t speak English, to add insult to injury – away from the staircase and the staircase railing (conceivable, to preserve the integrity of the wedding pictures).  Um, methinks that any non-wedding guest and patron should have full access to the hotel, particularly, when considering that the rooms are $300 and up.  The nerve.

What was surprising?  The locale of the hotel.  It’s sandwiched in between contemporary building.  Vintage photographs in the lobby show that it was originally free-standing.  They should have left it that way.

The Lobby Bar at the Hotel Colonnade is located at 180 Aragon Ave., in Coral Gables, Florida.  The bar is open from Monday through Friday, from 4:30 p.m. to 11:00 p.m., and on Friday and Saturday, from noon to 1:00 a.m.  It’s closed on Sunday.