March may have gone out like a lamb, but Scandals Saloon didn’t. On a cloudy afternoon, and after a week of record-breaking rain, Scandals Saloon, the only gay country bar in South Florida, closed its doors for good last Sunday. The sudden closing, with barely more than a week’s notice, was not without emotion. Longtime patron and Gospel Jubilee cast member, Doug Blevins, said, “I’ve been crying all week.” Others lamented that the bar was one of the few places left where strangers actually talked and socialized with each other. The closing may have been precipitated by the lack of public parking when Kmart—the neighbor across the street—closed, thereby forcing patrons to utilize valet. Regardless, hoards came out of hibernation to say farewell to the popular bar, as it was more crowded than its been in years.
3 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NO SHADE, BUT SHE DIDN’T TURN IT OUT”
What’s Caroline’s Cafe? It’s a restaurant on Duval Street in Key West. The restaurant is housed in the Joseph Y. Porter House, which dates to 1838. Joseph Y. Porter was Key West’s first native-born doctor. Was there an age restriction? No. What time did we go? At about 9:00 p.m., on a Sunday.
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How was the maître d’? A younger person, I believe. No impression was left. What was the décor like? Predominately inspired by imagery associated with Key West artists and localism. What was the seating like? It’s all outdoors. What was the atmosphere like? Very casual.
What was the crowd like? Leaning on the younger side. How was the cruising? Nonexistent. When’s happy hour? No happy hour. I asked. What libations were ordered? A chardonnay for $6.00, and a grapefruit margarita for $8.00. Were they served timely? Yes.
How were the drinks? The wine was fine. The margarita was advertised as a “featured cocktail.” Considering that, there could have been more to it. The drink seemed like it was a regular margarita, but with canned grapefruit juice simply poured into it. What was ordered? A Boston Lettuce Wrap for $10.99, Spicy Cajun Jambalaya for $18.99, and Rev. Joe’s Burger for $9.99. Was the food served timely? Yes.
How was the food? The sauces, a peanut one and a spicy Thai one, in the Boston Lettuce Wrap were good. The grilled chicken in it was fine as well. However, the dish should come with a serving spoon or some such utensil. The shrimp in the Spicy Cajun Jambalaya was excellent—plump and not overcooked—but the the andouille in it was less impressive. The French fries that were served with Rev. Joe’s Burger were great. With the first bite it was apparent that the oil that was used to fry them was high-quality. The fries also weren’t masked with a bunch of salt—you can actually taste them. Regarding the burger, I’m not sure how Rev. Joe plays into it, but the website advertises that his burger is the “biggest and the best.” It certainly didn’t look like the biggest around (no pun intended, ladies), and it definitely wasn’t the best. What it did look like was a Whopper, but it didn’t even taste as good as one.
How was the service? Here’s where Miss Caroline will have to take a hit. For some reason, the wait at the end was excessive. This appeared inexplicable, for, if anything, the crowd didn’t increase as it got later but actually thinned out.
What stands out about the restaurant? The view of Duval Street. The tables that border Duval Street allow you to watch the people parade on by on it. What could be improved? The food overall. Nothing was special about any of it.
What was surprising? The nonsense that happens on Duval Street. Fat Tuesday is across the street, and there were a pack of delightful sorority/frat-house types that graciously provided free twerking demonstrations—along with the accompaniments of their friends yelling and cheering them on—on the spacious steps of the bar. Alas, although it seemed like one of them was about to take a tumble and go head over heels down the steps, it never happened. One could only hope.
Caroline’s Café is located at 301 Duval St., in Key West, Florida. They’re open daily from 11:00 a.m. to 11:30 p.m.
What’s Camille’s? It’s a restaurant in Key West. Our server claimed that they’ve been around for 65 years, but the Facebook page says 20 years. Regardless, they’ve been in Key West for quite a while.
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Was there an age restriction? No. What time did we go? Around 6:00 p.m. How was the maître d’? The server sat us. They didn’t have a maître d’. What was the décor like? Rather funky.
What was the seating like? They have two dining rooms. One is larger than the other. Both rooms have some cool bench seats as well. What was the atmosphere like? Casual. The vibe is diner-ish, but a high-end diner. What was the crowd like? Mostly locals.
How was the cruising? You’ll have to go to Island House if you want that (and you can dine in the nude there as well, if that tickles your fancy). When’s happy hour? They have a full bar, but sadly, there’s no happy hour. What libations were ordered? A white wine for $10.75—outrageous price.
Was it served timely? Yes. How was the drink? Table wine. Nothing more can be said about it than that. What was ordered? A Shanghai Calamari appetizer for $12.95, meatloaf for $17.95, and seafood pasta for $27.95. Was the food served timely? Yes.
How was the food? They have 2 for 1 “Signature Entrees” for dinner, and now I know the need for the discount. The meatloaf was wrapped in bacon, and it came with red-bliss mashed potatoes and green beans. The gravy on the meatloaf was so salty that you could have had a stroke right there at the table. The bacon around the meatloaf was undercooked. However, the caramalized onions on top of the meatloaf were pretty good. The white sauce in the seafood dish was fine, but the seafood itself was slightly overcooked. And Madame Camille is cheap as well, trying to pad out the dish with spaghetti to trick you. Regarding the calamari appetizer, the calamari itself was bland. It was also obvious that the dipping sauce was merely Caravelle chili sauce straight out of the bottle.
How was the service? The servers were pleasant, but they were also a bit quirky. You get the feeling that some of them drink the nights away on their houseboat on Stock Island. What stands out about the place? Two things: the décor, and the fact that it’s not on Duval Street. If you’re looking for a restaurant that doesn’t have a lot of tourists, then this is it.
What could be improved? The restaurant is known for breakfast and lunch. We’ve been there for lunch, and it was excellent. But, unfortunately, this review is for dinner. In that area, they need to improve the quality of the food.
What was surprising? There was a straight couple next to us on a date, and every time we looked over, the bitch had another shot in front of her. But then again, her date was carrying on about the bible, so maybe miss thing needed the drinks to get through the meal.
Camille’s is located at 1202 Simonton St., in Key West, Florida. They’re open every day from 8:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m.
The Pub hosted their monthly “leather and kink party,” Menergy Leather, last Friday, featuring a demonstration from adult performers and couple, Dirk Caber and Jesse Jackman.
Despite touring the country with his one-man show impersonating Joan Rivers, actor Joe Posa still has time to enjoy the “gayness” of Wilton Manors. But what kind of balls would he have for his last meal?
PHOTOGRAPH BY DENNIS DEAN
Where did you grow up? I was born in the Bronx, but I grew up in Thiells, New York, in Rockland County. How long have you lived in South Florida? For seven years. Why did you move here? After living in Manhattan for many years, and then in Boston with my husband Frank Ribaudo, we settled in our home in South Florida. What part of South Florida do you live in? In Wilton Manors. What do you like most about living here? The gayness! And of course, the weather. What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone? I so loved The Coliseum. Where do you hang out in South Florida? I love the many restaurants, and, of course, the clubs on Wilton Drive. What’s your claim-to-fame? I’m an actor, and I also impersonate Joan Rivers, Barbra Streisand, Liza Minnelli and Michael Jackson, to name a few.
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What’s your most cherished experience with Joan Rivers? Performing at an event in Houston with her but AS her. We then hung out in her dressing room and talked, and that was amazing. What’s the best role that you ever did? Of course, Joan! I was also Erica Kane on All My Childrenwith Susan Lucci, and Liz Lemon on 30 Rockwith Tina Fey. What’s your dream gig? I’m living it now performing my Joan Rivers tribute show, The Bitch is Back!, with Joan’s head writer, Tony Tripoli. We’ve taken it across the U.S. and Mexico! Other than Joan Rivers, what performer do you admire, and why? Barbra Streisand, because of her work ethic and her striving-for-excellence in the work. Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now? All of it prepares you!
WITH TINA FEY
How would you like to be remembered? Besides as a kind and generous human being, I’d say as a master of illusion in the art of impersonation. Will you ever retire? As long as I’m able, I will be onstage! What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked? The ole “where do you put it” question (laughs). What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around? Babs! What’s the last thing that you looked at online? A new wig (laughs)! What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why? Besides having worked for nearly two decades with my shows in Provincetown, and loving it, I so enjoy working and being in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. What’s your guilty pleasure? A full-bodied red. What’s your best characteristic? My infectious laugh! Also, my compassion toward others.
PHOTOGRAPH BY DENNIS DEAN
What’s your fondest childhood memory? The morning of a “snow day!” What are you afraid of? The state that our great country is in. What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older? That the days are long, yet the years fly by. What did you learn from your parents? Humility. What performer do you admire, and why? Joan Rivers. Not only was she the best in what she did, but she defied the odds and was a survivor. How do you enjoy spending your time? Being with my amazing husband. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why? Joan Rivers, because we need her humor now more than ever! Where would you go in a time machine? I like being in the here-and-now. What would your last meal be? Being Italian, I’d have to say my husband’s pasta and balls!
What do you worry about? Our country, politically, and how we as a people are so divided on many levels. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? I’m a wolf in my work, yet a sheep when I chill. Who depends on you, and for what? My husband and my closest friends. They depend on me for positive words of advice. Who are you closest with? My husband, Frank Ribaudo. What would your autobiography be called? Me, Myself, and Her…What music do you listen to when you’re upset? Light classical. What’s on your bucket list? To be a talk-show host! What’s your greatest regret in life? I honestly feel that it’s all an amazing journey. What’s something that you never told anyone else? Well, I can’t tell you that. Where can we see you? At the Mizner Park Cultural Center in Boca Raton on Saturday at 7:30 p.m.!
With a new career photographing men in stylized states of nature, Anthony Timiraos—one of main founders of South Florida’s Our Fund—is always on the go. But he still has time to do this every week with his 92-year-old mother.
Where did you grow up? In Cuba. I left in 1962, when I was eight—don’t bother doing the math, I’m 65. My family was part of the Pedro Pan Exodus. Me and my 11-year-old brother came to the U.S. first, and my parents and younger brother came two years later. Me and my brother lived in several locations during those two years, including a catholic orphanage in upstate New York. What do you miss about Cuba? I was too young when I left, so I can honestly say that I don’t miss anything. How long have you lived in South Florida? Since 2003. Me and my husband moved here from Connecticut. Why did you move here? For the lifestyle and weather, but not necessarily in that order.
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Almost two years in the making, “expose” is a rich collection of 246 pages of full color nude photos by photographer Anthony Timiraos of nearly 40 different models. The artists’ collection of nude photographs provides a diverse look at the (mostly) male bodies positioned in classical poses. The author introduces you to each model with a short narrative providing the reader enough facts to connect the art to the individual on the page.
What do you miss about New England? Living close to New York allowed us to drive into the city anytime we pleased. It’s hard to replace what New York has to offer. What part of South Florida do you live in? Fort Lauderdale. What do you like most about living here? I love the weather and the sense of community in the LGBT community. Where do you hang out in South Florida, and why? At home, in the photo studio, on the beach during sunrise, at that gym, and at tai chi lessons. What’s your claim-to-fame? I don’t have any specific “claim-to-fame,” but I’m hopeful that through my philanthropy, including Out Fund, that I’ve helped to make this community a better place to live. Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now? Newspaper delivery at 5:00 a.m. during my early teens.
WITH HUSBAND, ARTHUR CRISPINO
How would you like to be remembered? I’m a member of the Legacy Society at Our Fund, and me and my husband have designated an endowment there from our estate. I hope the endowment will continue to help our South Florida LGBT community, forever, and I hope that others will do the same. Will you ever retire? Probably not, as long as my health allows me to remain active. I consider that photography is my new job, but, unfortunately, the financial rewards are minimal at best. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? My Instagram page. What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why Barcelona and Madrid, because the quality of life in both cities is impressive.
WITH ARTHUR CRISPINO (LEFT) AND MICHELLE OBAMA
Who would you like to be for a day, and why? President Obama, because he taught this country many lessons, but, unfortunately, many were not paying attention. Do you believe in an afterlife? It’s hard to believe in anything that I don’t understand. Do you think that this is the most amoral time that’s ever existed? Yes. Who or what is the greatest love of your life? My husband, Arthur. How long have you been married? We’ve been together since May 8, 1970, and we got married in New York in 2013. What’s your recipe for success in a relationship? Hard work and honesty. What talent would you most like to have? Concert pianist. What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older? That life’s too short.
WITH MOTHER, MARIA, AND BROTHERS
What did you learn from your parents? Hard work and honesty. What’s your best characteristic? Patience. How do you enjoy spending your time? Doing photography. What celebrity do you have a crush on? There’s too many to list. Who do you admire, and why? The Obamas, because they’ve set a new standard for honesty, service to our country, and compassion. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why? Everyone who died from AIDS, because they were all taken away from us too soon. Where would you go in a time machine, and why? I would turn the machine off and walk the other way. What would your last meal be? Tapas in Barcelona. What do you worry about? A constitutional crisis in the USA.
What are you afraid of? A constitutional crisis in the USA. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why? The fiddle, because of its simple and playful sounds. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? A sheep on one end, but a wolf on the other. You decide which end is which. Who depends on you, and for what? My 94-year old mother depends on me and my husband for her Saturday lunch at a local restaurant. Who are you closest with? My husband. What would your autobiography be called? Move Along. I’ve lived in 26 different locations during the past 65 years. What music do you listen to when you’re upset? Classical music. Where can we see you? On my website!
4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”
What’s Onlywood? It’s an Italian “trattoria” (Notably, there are three Italian-dinning styles. Osteria, which is tantamount to American take-out, is the least formal. Trattoria, which is casual but still consists of table service. And ristorante, which is the most formal and emphasizes haute cuisine) in Key West. The restaurant is right off of Duval Street, but it’s rather easy to miss if you don’t know what you’re looking for. Hence, there’s a slight air of the “hidden gem” going on with it.
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Was there an age restriction? No. What time did we go? Around 9:30 p.m. How was the maître d’? No complaints. What was the décor like? The lighting is low in the alley that leads to the restaurant, so there’s a haunted-house vibe that exudes as one enters. The décor of the restaurant itself is done in typical Key West style.
What was the seating like? The inside seating is more illuminated and less quaint than the al fresco area. What was the atmosphere like? Casual. In addition, many of the staff speak Italian. What was the crowd like? Mostlytourists.
How was the cruising? The days of Key West as a gay mecca are long gone. No cruising. When’s happy hour? Daily, from 5:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. What libations were ordered? One glass of white wine, which was $9. Were they served timely? Yes.
How were the drinks? There was nothing great, but nothing bad, about the wine. What was ordered? An Alla Caprese salad for $13.50, Fettucine alla Bolognese for $17.50, Fettucine Parma e Parmigiano for $15.50, and a 4 Maiali pizza for $18.50. Was the food served timely? Yes.
How was the food? The mozzarella in the caprese salad was advertised as homemade, and possessed a wonderful richness to it. The tomatoes in the dish were less impressive. The fettucine in the bolognese was homemade and egg-based. The noodles were excellent, but the meat was a bit bland. The noodles were the same kind in the parmigiana dish, and the sauce in this dish was authentic and first-rate. Regarding the pizza, the restaurant has an imported brick oven, and if there’s one standout to the place, it would likely be their pizzas. The sauce in the pizza pops in the mouth on the first bite, and the prosciutto and pepperoni in it was delicious. However, the pizza’s crust was bit of a disappointment, as there was no required crunch.
How was the service? Fine, but there was nothing special about it, either. What stands out about the place? The pizza and the al fresco dinning. What could be improved? The food needs to be a little more consistent. In addition, the plant on the table with the price tag kind-of blew the “trattoria” bucolic theme.
What was surprising? The music. It was all Italian, but each song was basically a rip-off of non-Italian artists. The music went from an early-rock Buddy Holly-ish song, to The Stones, to Bob Dylan and then to Abba.
Onlywood is located at 613-1/2 Duval St., in Key West, Florida. Consult the website for the restaurant’s hours, which are seasonal.
