5 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “10s ACROSS THE BOARD – LEGENDARY STATUS”
What is Mrs. Mac’s Kitchen? It’s a seafood restaurant in Key Largo. There are two locations, but both of them are on US 1. The original location is on the southbound side of US 1, and the second one is on the northbound side. According to restaurant’s website, the original location is the longest-running restaurant in Key Largo.
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Was there an age restriction? No. Would you really expect Mrs. Mac to dare discriminate against children? What time did we go? At about 1:00 p.m. How was the maître d’? Pleasant. What was the décor like? Nautical-inspired, but with a flair of island artistry.
What was the seating like? They had a fair amount of counter seating. However, most of the seating was tables and booths. What was the atmosphere like? Low-key (no pun intended). What was the crowd like? Who knows what they’re like at night, but at this time of the day, people were there to dine, not to socialize.
How was the cruising? In this area, the only cruising that can be found is the kind that a boat does when it’s in the water. When’s happy hour? They don’t have one. What libations were ordered? Two “House Specialty” drinks. A Bloody “Mac” Mary for $7.50, and a “Macs” Muddled Margarita for $6.50.
Were they served timely? Yes. How were the drinks? The bloody Mary had a celery-salted rim. The margarita was muddled with lemon, lime and orange. They were both pretty good, but neither was excellent. Of the two, the bloody Mary was better.
What was ordered? A cup of Award-Winning Conch Chowder (it came with the entre for $2 more), a bowl of World-Famous Homemade Chili for $5.99, Caribbean-Style Grilled Crab Cakes for $12.99, A Fresh Fish of the Day for $12.99, a Seafood Pasta for $18.99, and a slice of Famous Key Lime Pie for $4.99. Was the food served timely? Yes.
How was the food? The conch chowder was superb and earned its title as “award winning,” spicy and with an aroma of fresh oregano. It was also served with sherry on the side. The chili was also excellent, thick and zingy, but it was a notch below the conch. The crab cakes were made of blue crab that came from a fishing pier that’s right around the corner from the restaurant, and I defy anyone to find crab cakes that have less filling than these ones did (everyone knows how restaurants love to pad them out with filling). The honey-mustard aioli that was served on top of them was excellent as well. The only comment is that the crust on the outside of the crab cakes could have been a bit crispier. The “fresh catch” entre, which is served how you like it (I opted for “blackened), was off-the-boat fresh. With fish of this quality—flounder, I believe—there was no need to pretty it up with a bunch of seasoning. It speaks for itself. The tartar sauce that is came with was also exceptional. Regarding the seafood pasta, the sherry-tinged alfredo sauce was decadent and delicious, and the copious amounts of seafood in it were cooked to perfection. As if all this wasn’t enough, the server said that the Key lime pie was the best he ever had (a woman comes into the restaurant every night and makes 70 of them). With a perfect amalgamate of ingredients, the pie itself was great, but the Cool Whip on top of it must be replaced with real whipped cream.
How was the service? Excellent. And the servers are locals, so they’ll chat with you, if you get them going. What stands out about the restaurant? The quality of the food! What could be improved? Other than that the drinks could be better, and the minor comments about the food, hardly any improvement is needed.
What was surprising? Although not quite surprising, it was certainly interesting to hear the server reminisce that his family would vacation in Key Largo every year, and his mother would “smuggle” 20 lbs. of blue crab back to Buffalo and ration it over the year.
Mrs. Mac’s Kitchen is located at 99020 Overseas Hwy., in Key Largo, Florida. They’re open from 11:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., Monday through Saturday. They’re closed on Sunday.
Shania Twain gave a rousing performance in Fort Lauderdale on June 1 in her Shania Now Tour. But the tour name is apropos if this is her last foray on the road, as she’s threatened.
SHADE-O-METER RATING
5 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “10s ACROSS THE BOARD – LEGENDARY STATUS”
Who’s Shania Twain? She’s a cross-over country/pop star, who’s one of the best-selling female country artists—if not the best-selling female artist—of all time. She’s also one of the best-selling female music artists of all-time.
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Now, the first studio album for Shania in nearly 15 years, releases on September 29th. The new album offered as both a 16-track deluxe and a 12-track standard album, both feature Shania s current single, “Life’s About To Get Good,” playing on country radio now. All songs on Now were written solely by Shania, who also served as co-producer on the project.
How was the venue? It’s a nice venue. The staff is certainly more friendly at the BB&T than they are at, for example, the Au-Rene Theater at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts (one can encounter cranky ushers there). How was the parking? They have ample parking. The cost was included with the ticket.
Does the venue serve liquor? Yes. How were the drinks? A double whiskey was $19, and a double wine (which was really more like a triple) was $20. The drinks were fine. Does the venue serve food? Yes. How was the food? We didn’t get any.
How much were the tickets? $115. Where were the seats? On the first level and directly on the side. Was the show sold out? It was about three-fourth fill. Who was the opening act? Bastian Baker. How was the opening act? We didn’t see him during his solo set, but he did a duet with Twain during her set.
How was the show? It was apparent from the first moment that she was on the stage that there’s no one who’s more comfortable on the stage, or loves entertaining, more than Shania Twain. Although certainly not a novelty—but nevertheless, impactful—Twain opened the show by walking through the crowd, starting on the opposite end of the stage, before making her way to it. Twain then launched into a two-hour set, where she fluctuated through hits and lesser-known songs, which also featured an economy of performers, where they served different functions—sometime as an instrumentalist, sometimes as a dancer, and sometimes as a backup singer—in different numbers. Regarding the visual element, the show could have rivaled Cirque du Soleil in set changes, a proliferation of costumes, and theatrics. However, unlike some stars, where theatricality is strategically calculated to detract from the performer’s lack of aptitude, this was not the case with Twain—she’s the real deal. Twain also did a fair amount of chit chating, which, at times, bordered on rambling. In the hands of a less-skilled performer, it might have been irritating, but with Twain, it was actually endearing. Towards the end of the show, a la Cher in her last tour, Twain flew over the audience on a guitar case, but she actually one-upped Madam “Half-Breed” when she not only sung but accompanied herself on the guitar during the flight. Twain performed “Rock This Country” and the requisite “Man! I Feel Like a Woman” for her encore, before she was consumed by a snowstorm of confetti. And then, she was no more.
How was the crowd? Composed of more woman than men, and with a fair representation of the LGBT community. Strangely—and, I suppose, lazily—the crowd didn’t give as much as they took.
What could have improved the show? I would have said that the dancers should have done same-sex dancing, but there was no couple’s dancing of any sort, either gay or straight. The set design could have been a tad more varied.
What was surprising about the show? Although Twain was recently a guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race, and her image is certainly consistent as a LGBT ally, Twain still is a country star. And we all know that things are not as liberal in the country scene as they are in, for example, the world of pop music. Considering this, it was commendable that Twain subtly, but frequently, advocated the LBGT community with comments such as, “Things are getting better all the time,” “I love men” [with an obvious nod to gay men in the audience], and, the more flagrant, this song is “dedicated to guys who like men.”
Ladies and gentlemen, meet your grand marshal for Stonewall 2018—LGBT activist, local resident, and founding-member of Styx, Chuck Panozzo.
How long have you lived in South Florida? For 12 years. Why did you move here? I moved to Miami first. I had a friend that lived there. I lived in Miami for five years. I wanted to buy a house, and I wanted to be near the gay community, so I choose Wilton Manors. What part of South Florida do you live in? In Wilton Manors. What do you like most about living here? I know it’s a rainy day today, but, besides that, it’s an easy lifestyle here. The traffic is never a problem—you can get around. Also, the conveniences are close—it’s a walkable town. What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone? There was something called the Davie Casino in Davie, but I don’t think that’s it’s around anymore. We played there a few times. It was a good venue. I’m also glad to see that Tropics is opening up again. Where do you hang out in South Florida, and why? In my house (laughs). I think that there’s a certain time in your life when you just say, enough is enough. When I go out now, I say to myself, “why does everyone look like my nephew, and why do I look like everyone’s father?” We used to say that a good test was, “Would my parents be here?” But then again, they never went anywhere. Also, if you’re looking for romance, you’re not gonna find it in the bars. If you want to find the drunk of your dreams, go to a bar (laughs).
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Styx’s fans will enjoy Panozzo’s detailed look at the band’s internal conflicts, but the heart of Panozzo’s autobiography is a sensitive and insightful look at “one gay man’s struggle to come to terms with himself” while performing in a rock world where “the things that would make the other guys laugh—a female fan lifting up her skirt, a pair of panties thrown on stage—just didn’t do it” for him.
What was your recent performance in Key West like? It was raining in the morning, and then it was cloudy in the afternoon, but the evening was great. But we play rain or shine, regardless. We were coming straight from a gig in Orlando, and the tour bus didn’t get to Key West until 6:00 a.m., so that part was hard. But they were so gracious to have us there that it made all worth it. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it’s important for a major act to play in an area that’s been negatively impacted by a hurricane. Maybe we didn’t bring a lot of awareness to Key West itself, but probably to the smaller neighboring islands. How did you get involved with the Stonewall Festival? Well, I feel strongly about Stonewall and how that event changed our lives. I remember when it first happened, but I educated myself about it more by reading about it. As far as the festival goes, it’s an honor to be asked to be the grand marshal for it, so I made it happen. I’m leaving the tour two days early, and they’ll have a replacement for me (they had to do this for some of my illnesses as well). I feel that the Stonewall Festival is an important event, so we need to do things as a community to keep getting the message out there. After all, we all want the same things in life. A better life, to live in peace, and to enjoy ourselves, so that message needs to be reiterated, because it seems like some are trying to take it away from us.
How will you celebrate after the parade? I’ll probably be asleep (laughs). I’ll be coming off a three-week tour, and I’m flying in on Friday so I can make it to the pre-Stonewall event at The Manor on Friday. If you had to pick one of your songs to be included in a welcome package for aliens, what one would you choose? “Come Sail Away.” And sometimes I dedicate the angels part of the song to people who are in trouble. But, speaking of inviting aliens to earth, we better be careful what we wish for. Assuming that they’re even physical, who knows what me might get? They might have some pathogen that could wipe us all out. What do you attribute Styx’s longevity to? If anything, I think that Styx has survived because we’ve been able to evolve after every tour. But rock and roll has become generational. Everyone knows Elvis, but when you say Guy Lombardo, they say, “Who?” Many bands are only around for five years, but we’ve been around for the 70s, the 80s, the 90, the 2000s, and now this decade. That’s five decades, but I’m just glad that we’ve been able to do it. And after all that, we’re still learning as a band.
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The Mission is a thrilling return to Styx’s progressive roots, across 14 tracks. With a sound as big as a galaxy, and two years in the making, it embodies a throw-back progressive-rock feel. Recorded at Blackbird Studios in Nashville, The Mission, which is Styx’s first album in 14 years, comes complete in a true hi-fidelity analog recording and mixed with a larger than life sound.
What’s touring like? The traveling is a nightmare. The show is the easy part. If it wasn’t for the show, I would never do it! What’s are your future plans with Styx? To live to 75 (laughs). If I make it to 75, Styx will have been together for 50 years! I always joke that I’ll live until 75, just so that I can reach that goal with Styx, and then I’ll drop dead an hour later. What award do you cherish the most, and why? Every year I get invited to speak to a gay youth group in Canada, and they named the award after me. I said to them, “I thought you had to be dead for that to happen?” (laughs). But seriously, it really is a great honor to be able to help people. For them to see someone who’s gone through the same things that they’ve gone through tell them, “don’t give up hope. It will be okay.” A lot of it is overcoming the negative things that we learned in our youth. If you wrote a sequel to your book, what would it be called? Maybe Touring 101? But I might just publish something like that online. It might just be my own personal travelogue. I go to so many places. Other than your bandmates, what musician do you admire, and why? The one who impressed me the most was Barbara Streisand. Oh, Bette Midler, as well. I talked with her for quite a while, and she’s so down to earth. It’s funny but the ones who you think are gonna be the biggest snobs end up being great.
Who would play you in a movie? Anyone but Scott Baio. What kind of music do you listen to that might surprise someone? I like classical music a lot. What dead musician would you like to have lunch with, and why? I might pick my dead brother. What’s the best concert you ever went to? I saw Boy George recently, and he was really good. Sometimes, when they’ve been gone for so long, you don’t know how they’re going to be. But he didn’t disappoint. What gay activist do you admire? I’m from the Harvey Milk generation, so I would say him. I was at bars with him as well. How would you like to be remembered? I want to leave two marks: I’d like to leave one for my music, and one for my gay life. But I never thought that in a million years that I’d still be performing after all these years. Look at me—I’m a gay man living the American dream. And if I can do it, you can do it. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it, or that you have to be lucky, or that you have to be in the right place at the right time. That’s all nonsense. If you keep plugging away, your dreams will come true. Will you ever retire? No. I told someone once, “the person who leaves their own band, a band that they helped form, is an idiot.” As long as I can keep doing it, physically, I’ll keep doing it. Even if you have a chronic condition, you can manage it and still work. What am I gonna do? Stay at home and watch TV? I wanna be the rock star on TV, not the one at home watching them on TV.
PHOTOGRAPH BY WARING ABBOTT
What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked? I was talking with a fan once. He left after the conversation was over, but then he came back to me. He started talking with me again, but this time, he thought that I was my brother John, who had already died! I guess he didn’t know that John had died. He said, “Don’t you have a twin brother?” What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around? Barbara Streisand. What’sthe lastthing that you watched on TV? Judge Judy, just this morning, at 6:30 a.m. What’s the craziest thing that you ever did? A few years ago we took my nephew to an amusement park and we went on all those roller coasters. What’s your favorite book? How about, “what’s my favorite magazine?” (laughs). I try to read something light when I’m on these airplanes. I’ll flip through the magazines that are on them. But I do try to get as much information from as many sources as I can. I also read The Wall Street Journal every day. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? My email. Do you like Facebook? Not really. All they seem to do is argue on there. They’re arguing with each other, about politics and other things, but they’re not really hearing each other. At first, I thought that social media was going to bring us closer together, but I think that it’s made things worse.
PHOTOGRAPH BY WARING ABBOTT
What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why? I’m looking forward to going back to Quebec, San Francisco and Denver. You look forward to seeing your fans in all of the various cities, but in these cities, particularly. It’s funny, but people remember the last time that they saw you perform. They remember the exact time and place—they keep it in their consciousness. It’s amazing to me, and it means more to me than everything. What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older? That you shouldn’t let the government, your religion or your family stop you from your dreams, because if you listen to them, you might give up. What did you learn from your parents? Hard work and love. When my father got cancer, I went through all the histrionics with God, such as, “Take me instead.” He died when he was only 56, so I didn’t get to spend as much time with him as I would have liked. Who knows what more I would have learned from him? What’s your best characteristic? That I’m a loyal friend. What celebrity do you have a crush on? Everyone in The Avengersmovie (laughs). I don’t know. I’m more attracted to someone’s personality rather than to some guy who thinks he’s so great looking.
WITH TWIN BROTHER, JOHN
Who do you admire, and why? I admire my brother’s love of music. I also admire my sister, Emily. She has MS, and she’s totally paralyzed from it, but she never complains. She still has a great sense of humor as well. I talk with her every day. I have a deep love for her. Where would you go in a time machine, and why? I wouldn’t go backwards. If I did, they’re probably curse me as witch. But I’m also afraid of the future. All this technology, with the iPhone, and what-not. And I’m NOT ready to see myself as a hologram yet. I’m more worried about the hear-and-now and how to keep the planet safe for future generations. But I think that there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done here first. And if we’re going to colonize space one day, the last thing that we want to do is bring the problems that the world is having right now up there (laughs). What would your last meal be? Good fried chicken. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why? I wouldn’t mind being a big double bass in a symphony. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? I think that I’m becoming both of them. I’ve learned some boundaries, so I’m not such as easy target as I used to be. Who depends on you, and for what? No one in particular depends on me, but I think that a lot of younger gay people are interested in hearing the experiences of an older guy who’s gay. Older people have the history behind us, and that can’t be replace. But the kids will have that one day, too.
Who are you closest with? My sister, Emily. It’s hard to put the emotions into words. I’m still alive—I had two bouts with cancer, so I’m supposed to be dead. But she went from being this very attractive woman, to being confined to a wheelchair full time. Life is hard, you know? I’ve yet to meet the person who hasn’t been beaten down by it in some capacity, so I just try to be thankful for each day. What’s on your bucket list? I’d like to go back to Southern Italy, to Pompeii. That’s where my mother’s from. To think that there are things there that were locked in time 2,000 years ago blows my mind. Do you think that you’ll ever find romance again? I’m married to my music. And if that’s how it is for the rest of my life, I’m okay with that. What’s your greatest regret in life? Not coming out sooner. I didn’t come out until I was almost 60. If I came out, I thought that it might hurt the band in some way, but it was foolish of me to think that. I officially came out at a human rights convention in Chicago, and it immediately changed my life—for the better. What’s something that you never told anyone else? They always say that you shouldn’t give away your beauty secrets (laughs), so the same stands for this question. You have to keep some things private. Where can we see you? You can see our tour schedule on our website, and you can also see me as the grand marshal at the Stonewall Festival in Wilton Manors on Saturday, June 16!
March may have gone out like a lamb, but Scandals Saloon didn’t. On a cloudy afternoon, and after a week of record-breaking rain, Scandals Saloon, the only gay country bar in South Florida, closed its doors for good last Sunday. The sudden closing, with barely more than a week’s notice, was not without emotion. Longtime patron and Gospel Jubilee cast member, Doug Blevins, said, “I’ve been crying all week.” Others lamented that the bar was one of the few places left where strangers actually talked and socialized with each other. The closing may have been precipitated by the lack of public parking when Kmart—the neighbor across the street—closed, thereby forcing patrons to utilize valet. Regardless, hoards came out of hibernation to say farewell to the popular bar, as it was more crowded than its been in years.
3 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NO SHADE, BUT SHE DIDN’T TURN IT OUT”
What’s Caroline’s Cafe? It’s a restaurant on Duval Street in Key West. The restaurant is housed in the Joseph Y. Porter House, which dates to 1838. Joseph Y. Porter was Key West’s first native-born doctor. Was there an age restriction? No. What time did we go? At about 9:00 p.m., on a Sunday.
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Mean Girls is a musical with book by Tina Fey, music by Jeff Richmond and lyrics by Nell Benjamin, based on the 2004 film of the same name. The musical premiered at the National Theatre, Washington, D.C. in October 2017 and opened on Broadway in April 2018 at the August Wilson Theatre.
How was the maître d’? A younger person, I believe. No impression was left. What was the décor like? Predominately inspired by imagery associated with Key West artists and localism. What was the seating like? It’s all outdoors. What was the atmosphere like? Very casual.
What was the crowd like? Leaning on the younger side. How was the cruising? Nonexistent. When’s happy hour? No happy hour. I asked. What libations were ordered? A chardonnay for $6.00, and a grapefruit margarita for $8.00. Were they served timely? Yes.
How were the drinks? The wine was fine. The margarita was advertised as a “featured cocktail.” Considering that, there could have been more to it. The drink seemed like it was a regular margarita, but with canned grapefruit juice simply poured into it. What was ordered? A Boston Lettuce Wrap for $10.99, Spicy Cajun Jambalaya for $18.99, and Rev. Joe’s Burger for $9.99. Was the food served timely? Yes.
How was the food? The sauces, a peanut one and a spicy Thai one, in the Boston Lettuce Wrap were good. The grilled chicken in it was fine as well. However, the dish should come with a serving spoon or some such utensil. The shrimp in the Spicy Cajun Jambalaya was excellent—plump and not overcooked—but the the andouille in it was less impressive. The French fries that were served with Rev. Joe’s Burger were great. With the first bite it was apparent that the oil that was used to fry them was high-quality. The fries also weren’t masked with a bunch of salt—you can actually taste them. Regarding the burger, I’m not sure how Rev. Joe plays into it, but the website advertises that his burger is the “biggest and the best.” It certainly didn’t look like the biggest around (no pun intended, ladies), and it definitely wasn’t the best. What it did look like was a Whopper, but it didn’t even taste as good as one.
How was the service? Here’s where Miss Caroline will have to take a hit. For some reason, the wait at the end was excessive. This appeared inexplicable, for, if anything, the crowd didn’t increase as it got later but actually thinned out.
What stands out about the restaurant? The view of Duval Street. The tables that border Duval Street allow you to watch the people parade on by on it. What could be improved? The food overall. Nothing was special about any of it.
What was surprising? The nonsense that happens on Duval Street. Fat Tuesday is across the street, and there were a pack of delightful sorority/frat-house types that graciously provided free twerking demonstrations—along with the accompaniments of their friends yelling and cheering them on—on the spacious steps of the bar. Alas, although it seemed like one of them was about to take a tumble and go head over heels down the steps, it never happened. One could only hope.
Caroline’s Café is located at 301 Duval St., in Key West, Florida. They’re open daily from 11:00 a.m. to 11:30 p.m.
What’s Camille’s? It’s a restaurant in Key West. Our server claimed that they’ve been around for 65 years, but the Facebook page says 20 years. Regardless, they’ve been in Key West for quite a while.
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Poised on the edge of the United States and at the center of a wider Caribbean world, today’s Miami is marketed as an international tourist hub that embraces gender and sexual difference. As Julio Capo Jr. shows in this fascinating historical book, Miami’s transnational connections reveal that the city has been a queer borderland for over a century.
Was there an age restriction? No. What time did we go? Around 6:00 p.m. How was the maître d’? The server sat us. They didn’t have a maître d’. What was the décor like? Rather funky.
What was the seating like? They have two dining rooms. One is larger than the other. Both rooms have some cool bench seats as well. What was the atmosphere like? Casual. The vibe is diner-ish, but a high-end diner. What was the crowd like? Mostly locals.
How was the cruising? You’ll have to go to Island House if you want that (and you can dine in the nude there as well, if that tickles your fancy). When’s happy hour? They have a full bar, but sadly, there’s no happy hour. What libations were ordered? A white wine for $10.75—outrageous price.
Was it served timely? Yes. How was the drink? Table wine. Nothing more can be said about it than that. What was ordered? A Shanghai Calamari appetizer for $12.95, meatloaf for $17.95, and seafood pasta for $27.95. Was the food served timely? Yes.
How was the food? They have 2 for 1 “Signature Entrees” for dinner, and now I know the need for the discount. The meatloaf was wrapped in bacon, and it came with red-bliss mashed potatoes and green beans. The gravy on the meatloaf was so salty that you could have had a stroke right there at the table. The bacon around the meatloaf was undercooked. However, the caramalized onions on top of the meatloaf were pretty good. The white sauce in the seafood dish was fine, but the seafood itself was slightly overcooked. And Madame Camille is cheap as well, trying to pad out the dish with spaghetti to trick you. Regarding the calamari appetizer, the calamari itself was bland. It was also obvious that the dipping sauce was merely Caravelle chili sauce straight out of the bottle.
How was the service? The servers were pleasant, but they were also a bit quirky. You get the feeling that some of them drink the nights away on their houseboat on Stock Island. What stands out about the place? Two things: the décor, and the fact that it’s not on Duval Street. If you’re looking for a restaurant that doesn’t have a lot of tourists, then this is it.
What could be improved? The restaurant is known for breakfast and lunch. We’ve been there for lunch, and it was excellent. But, unfortunately, this review is for dinner. In that area, they need to improve the quality of the food.
What was surprising? There was a straight couple next to us on a date, and every time we looked over, the bitch had another shot in front of her. But then again, her date was carrying on about the bible, so maybe miss thing needed the drinks to get through the meal.
Camille’s is located at 1202 Simonton St., in Key West, Florida. They’re open every day from 8:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m.
The Pub hosted their monthly “leather and kink party,” Menergy Leather, last Friday, featuring a demonstration from adult performers and couple, Dirk Caber and Jesse Jackman.
Despite touring the country with his one-man show impersonating Joan Rivers, actor Joe Posa still has time to enjoy the “gayness” of Wilton Manors. But what kind of balls would he have for his last meal?
PHOTOGRAPH BY DENNIS DEAN
Where did you grow up? I was born in the Bronx, but I grew up in Thiells, New York, in Rockland County. How long have you lived in South Florida? For seven years. Why did you move here? After living in Manhattan for many years, and then in Boston with my husband Frank Ribaudo, we settled in our home in South Florida. What part of South Florida do you live in? In Wilton Manors. What do you like most about living here? The gayness! And of course, the weather. What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone? I so loved The Coliseum. Where do you hang out in South Florida? I love the many restaurants, and, of course, the clubs on Wilton Drive. What’s your claim-to-fame? I’m an actor, and I also impersonate Joan Rivers, Barbra Streisand, Liza Minnelli and Michael Jackson, to name a few.
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What’s your most cherished experience with Joan Rivers? Performing at an event in Houston with her but AS her. We then hung out in her dressing room and talked, and that was amazing. What’s the best role that you ever did? Of course, Joan! I was also Erica Kane on All My Childrenwith Susan Lucci, and Liz Lemon on 30 Rockwith Tina Fey. What’s your dream gig? I’m living it now performing my Joan Rivers tribute show, The Bitch is Back!, with Joan’s head writer, Tony Tripoli. We’ve taken it across the U.S. and Mexico! Other than Joan Rivers, what performer do you admire, and why? Barbra Streisand, because of her work ethic and her striving-for-excellence in the work. Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now? All of it prepares you!
WITH TINA FEY
How would you like to be remembered? Besides as a kind and generous human being, I’d say as a master of illusion in the art of impersonation. Will you ever retire? As long as I’m able, I will be onstage! What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked? The ole “where do you put it” question (laughs). What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around? Babs! What’s the last thing that you looked at online? A new wig (laughs)! What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why? Besides having worked for nearly two decades with my shows in Provincetown, and loving it, I so enjoy working and being in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. What’s your guilty pleasure? A full-bodied red. What’s your best characteristic? My infectious laugh! Also, my compassion toward others.
PHOTOGRAPH BY DENNIS DEAN
What’s your fondest childhood memory? The morning of a “snow day!” What are you afraid of? The state that our great country is in. What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older? That the days are long, yet the years fly by. What did you learn from your parents? Humility. What performer do you admire, and why? Joan Rivers. Not only was she the best in what she did, but she defied the odds and was a survivor. How do you enjoy spending your time? Being with my amazing husband. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why? Joan Rivers, because we need her humor now more than ever! Where would you go in a time machine? I like being in the here-and-now. What would your last meal be? Being Italian, I’d have to say my husband’s pasta and balls!
What do you worry about? Our country, politically, and how we as a people are so divided on many levels. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? I’m a wolf in my work, yet a sheep when I chill. Who depends on you, and for what? My husband and my closest friends. They depend on me for positive words of advice. Who are you closest with? My husband, Frank Ribaudo. What would your autobiography be called? Me, Myself, and Her…What music do you listen to when you’re upset? Light classical. What’s on your bucket list? To be a talk-show host! What’s your greatest regret in life? I honestly feel that it’s all an amazing journey. What’s something that you never told anyone else? Well, I can’t tell you that. Where can we see you? At the Mizner Park Cultural Center in Boca Raton on Saturday at 7:30 p.m.!
With a new career photographing men in stylized states of nature, Anthony Timiraos—one of main founders of South Florida’s Our Fund—is always on the go. But he still has time to do this every week with his 92-year-old mother.
Where did you grow up? In Cuba. I left in 1962, when I was eight—don’t bother doing the math, I’m 65. My family was part of the Pedro Pan Exodus. Me and my 11-year-old brother came to the U.S. first, and my parents and younger brother came two years later. Me and my brother lived in several locations during those two years, including a catholic orphanage in upstate New York. What do you miss about Cuba? I was too young when I left, so I can honestly say that I don’t miss anything. How long have you lived in South Florida? Since 2003. Me and my husband moved here from Connecticut. Why did you move here? For the lifestyle and weather, but not necessarily in that order.
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Almost two years in the making, “expose” is a rich collection of 246 pages of full color nude photos by photographer Anthony Timiraos of nearly 40 different models. The artists’ collection of nude photographs provides a diverse look at the (mostly) male bodies positioned in classical poses. The author introduces you to each model with a short narrative providing the reader enough facts to connect the art to the individual on the page.
What do you miss about New England? Living close to New York allowed us to drive into the city anytime we pleased. It’s hard to replace what New York has to offer. What part of South Florida do you live in? Fort Lauderdale. What do you like most about living here? I love the weather and the sense of community in the LGBT community. Where do you hang out in South Florida, and why? At home, in the photo studio, on the beach during sunrise, at that gym, and at tai chi lessons. What’s your claim-to-fame? I don’t have any specific “claim-to-fame,” but I’m hopeful that through my philanthropy, including Out Fund, that I’ve helped to make this community a better place to live. Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now? Newspaper delivery at 5:00 a.m. during my early teens.
WITH HUSBAND, ARTHUR CRISPINO
How would you like to be remembered? I’m a member of the Legacy Society at Our Fund, and me and my husband have designated an endowment there from our estate. I hope the endowment will continue to help our South Florida LGBT community, forever, and I hope that others will do the same. Will you ever retire? Probably not, as long as my health allows me to remain active. I consider that photography is my new job, but, unfortunately, the financial rewards are minimal at best. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? My Instagram page. What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why Barcelona and Madrid, because the quality of life in both cities is impressive.
WITH ARTHUR CRISPINO (LEFT) AND MICHELLE OBAMA
Who would you like to be for a day, and why? President Obama, because he taught this country many lessons, but, unfortunately, many were not paying attention. Do you believe in an afterlife? It’s hard to believe in anything that I don’t understand. Do you think that this is the most amoral time that’s ever existed? Yes. Who or what is the greatest love of your life? My husband, Arthur. How long have you been married? We’ve been together since May 8, 1970, and we got married in New York in 2013. What’s your recipe for success in a relationship? Hard work and honesty. What talent would you most like to have? Concert pianist. What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older? That life’s too short.
WITH MOTHER, MARIA, AND BROTHERS
What did you learn from your parents? Hard work and honesty. What’s your best characteristic? Patience. How do you enjoy spending your time? Doing photography. What celebrity do you have a crush on? There’s too many to list. Who do you admire, and why? The Obamas, because they’ve set a new standard for honesty, service to our country, and compassion. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why? Everyone who died from AIDS, because they were all taken away from us too soon. Where would you go in a time machine, and why? I would turn the machine off and walk the other way. What would your last meal be? Tapas in Barcelona. What do you worry about? A constitutional crisis in the USA.
What are you afraid of? A constitutional crisis in the USA. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why? The fiddle, because of its simple and playful sounds. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? A sheep on one end, but a wolf on the other. You decide which end is which. Who depends on you, and for what? My 94-year old mother depends on me and my husband for her Saturday lunch at a local restaurant. Who are you closest with? My husband. What would your autobiography be called? Move Along. I’ve lived in 26 different locations during the past 65 years. What music do you listen to when you’re upset? Classical music. Where can we see you? On my website!
4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”
What’s Onlywood? It’s an Italian “trattoria” (Notably, there are three Italian-dinning styles. Osteria, which is tantamount to American take-out, is the least formal. Trattoria, which is casual but still consists of table service. And ristorante, which is the most formal and emphasizes haute cuisine) in Key West. The restaurant is right off of Duval Street, but it’s rather easy to miss if you don’t know what you’re looking for. Hence, there’s a slight air of the “hidden gem” going on with it.
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Was there an age restriction? No. What time did we go? Around 9:30 p.m. How was the maître d’? No complaints. What was the décor like? The lighting is low in the alley that leads to the restaurant, so there’s a haunted-house vibe that exudes as one enters. The décor of the restaurant itself is done in typical Key West style.
What was the seating like? The inside seating is more illuminated and less quaint than the al fresco area. What was the atmosphere like? Casual. In addition, many of the staff speak Italian. What was the crowd like? Mostlytourists.
How was the cruising? The days of Key West as a gay mecca are long gone. No cruising. When’s happy hour? Daily, from 5:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. What libations were ordered? One glass of white wine, which was $9. Were they served timely? Yes.
How were the drinks? There was nothing great, but nothing bad, about the wine. What was ordered? An Alla Caprese salad for $13.50, Fettucine alla Bolognese for $17.50, Fettucine Parma e Parmigiano for $15.50, and a 4 Maiali pizza for $18.50. Was the food served timely? Yes.
How was the food? The mozzarella in the caprese salad was advertised as homemade, and possessed a wonderful richness to it. The tomatoes in the dish were less impressive. The fettucine in the bolognese was homemade and egg-based. The noodles were excellent, but the meat was a bit bland. The noodles were the same kind in the parmigiana dish, and the sauce in this dish was authentic and first-rate. Regarding the pizza, the restaurant has an imported brick oven, and if there’s one standout to the place, it would likely be their pizzas. The sauce in the pizza pops in the mouth on the first bite, and the prosciutto and pepperoni in it was delicious. However, the pizza’s crust was bit of a disappointment, as there was no required crunch.
How was the service? Fine, but there was nothing special about it, either. What stands out about the place? The pizza and the al fresco dinning. What could be improved? The food needs to be a little more consistent. In addition, the plant on the table with the price tag kind-of blew the “trattoria” bucolic theme.
What was surprising? The music. It was all Italian, but each song was basically a rip-off of non-Italian artists. The music went from an early-rock Buddy Holly-ish song, to The Stones, to Bob Dylan and then to Abba.
Onlywood is located at 613-1/2 Duval St., in Key West, Florida. Consult the website for the restaurant’s hours, which are seasonal.
