The old school met the new this Thursday, in Suzanne Bartsch’s Art Basal edition of the Bareback Follies

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What’s Bareback Follies? It’s a burlesque/drag show at El Tucan. It’s hosted by long-time New York club promoter Suzanne Bartsch. What’s El Tucan? It’s a cabaret/nightclub in downtown Miami. Specifically, it’s in the Brickell area. The venue offers a dinner and a show.

How was the venue? It’s beautiful and classy. It’s also the perfect size (for you size queens). How was the parking? There’s a parking lot right around the corner. It costs $10 to park in it. The venue has valet as well. Does the venue serve liquor? Of course.

How were the drinks? Now, here’s where things went wrong. If you’re going to advertise “luxe libations,” then you better have bartenders that know what a sidecar is. Methinks The Fine Art of Mixing Cocktails would be mandatory reading for their bartenders. Other than this faux pas, the drinks were well-made. However, even for Miami, they’re a bit pricey. Wine was $17, and a Manhattan was $15. Girls, this ain’t the Four Seasons.

Does the venue serve food? Yes. However, we didn’t do the dinner and show—just the show. The regular prix-fixe is $55, and the seasonal one is $85. How much were the tickets? $25. Was the show sold out? No. How was the crowd? At times, in competition with the performers for the spotlight.

How was the show? The inheritors of Warhol’s “Silver” Factor crowd, and a group that could be considered one of the earliest media whores, the club kids of the 1980s and early 1990s would even rival today’s most Instagram-obsessed individuals for attention. The show featured some notable figures from that era, some modern burlesque acts, and some performers from RuPaul’s Drag Race. Standout numbers were Shequida singing “Whatever Lola Wants” (re-done as “Whatever Shequida Wants”), where she fluctuated between a baritone voice and a contralto, Brent Ray Fraser painting with his penis, Amanda Lepore (billed as “having a body that costs a million dollars”), and Adora, who cleverly channeled the history of the area with an exaggerated “cha-cha” number.

What could have improved the show? Although all of the performances were professional and adept, some of them didn’t necessarily stand out. To quote “Mama Ru,” some of them should probably be “up for elimination” in order to elevate the bar.

What could have improved the venue? Um, the AC wasn’t really working. It must have been 1,000 degrees in there. If you’re going to have a dress code, and you want people to come in “cocktail attire” or “formal wear,” please appropriately chill the customers (or change the dress code to clothing-optional).