CAROLINE’S CAFE

SHADE-O-METER RATING

3 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NO SHADE, BUT SHE DIDN’T TURN IT OUT”

What’s Caroline’s Cafe? It’s a restaurant on Duval Street in Key West. The restaurant is housed in the Joseph Y. Porter House, which dates to 1838. Joseph Y. Porter was Key West’s first native-born doctor. Was there an age restriction? No. What time did we go? At about 9:00 p.m., on a Sunday.

Mean Girls is a musical with book by Tina Fey, music by Jeff Richmond and lyrics by Nell Benjamin, based on the 2004 film of the same name. The musical premiered at the National Theatre, Washington, D.C. in October 2017 and opened on Broadway in April 2018 at the August Wilson Theatre.

How was the maître d’? A younger person, I believe. No impression was left. What was the décor like? Predominately inspired by imagery associated with Key West artists and localism. What was the seating like? It’s all outdoors. What was the atmosphere like? Very casual.

What was the crowd like? Leaning on the younger side. How was the cruising? Nonexistent. When’s happy hour? No happy hour. I asked. What libations were ordered? A chardonnay for $6.00, and a grapefruit margarita for $8.00. Were they served timely? Yes.

How were the drinks? The wine was fine. The margarita was advertised as a “featured cocktail.” Considering that, there could have been more to it. The drink seemed like it was a regular margarita, but with canned grapefruit juice simply poured into it. What was ordered? A Boston Lettuce Wrap for $10.99, Spicy Cajun Jambalaya for $18.99, and Rev. Joe’s Burger for $9.99. Was the food served timely? Yes.

How was the food? The sauces, a peanut one and a spicy Thai one, in the Boston Lettuce Wrap were good. The grilled chicken in it was fine as well. However, the dish should come with a serving spoon or some such utensil. The shrimp in the Spicy Cajun Jambalaya was excellent—plump and not overcooked—but the the andouille in it was less impressive. The French fries that were served with Rev. Joe’s Burger were great. With the first bite it was apparent that the oil that was used to fry them was high-quality. The fries also weren’t masked with a bunch of salt—you can actually taste them. Regarding the burger, I’m not sure how Rev. Joe plays into it, but the website advertises that his burger is the “biggest and the best.” It certainly didn’t look like the biggest around (no pun intended, ladies), and it definitely wasn’t the best. What it did look like was a Whopper, but it didn’t even taste as good as one.

How was the service? Here’s where Miss Caroline will have to take a hit. For some reason, the wait at the end was excessive. This appeared inexplicable, for, if anything, the crowd didn’t increase as it got later but actually thinned out.

What stands out about the restaurant? The view of Duval Street. The tables that border Duval Street allow you to watch the people parade on by on it. What could be improved? The food overall. Nothing was special about any of it.

What was surprising? The nonsense that happens on Duval Street. Fat Tuesday is across the street, and there were a pack of delightful sorority/frat-house types that graciously provided free twerking demonstrations—along with the accompaniments of their friends yelling and cheering them on—on the spacious steps of the bar. Alas, although it seemed like one of them was about to take a tumble and go head over heels down the steps, it never happened. One could only hope.