FRANK DECARO

Frank DeCaro has interviewed them all, from Mel Brooks to Robin Williams to Bea Arthur.  But on the heels of his new retrospective book about drag, what old job did DeCaro have that he said was a “real” drag? 

PHOTOGRAPH BY ERICA BERGER

If you had to live somewhere other than New Jersey or Los Angeles, where you would live?  I wish we still had a Manhattan apartment.  When I’m in New York City from morning until night—which happens a lot—there’s never anywhere to nap in the afternoon.  I miss that.  What’s special about L.A. that isn’t common knowledge? Not everyone knows that the best underground drag theater in L.A. is literally underground. It’s at the Cavern Club Celebrity Theater in the basement of a Mexican restaurant called Casita Del Campo in Silver Lake.  I’ve had more fun there than the law allows.  What’s the “interview that got away”?  Liberace.  When I get to hell, I hope he’s the first person I see.  Which interview is most special to you, and why?  Mel Brooks, because he’s my comedy idol.  And at the end of our chat he said, “No bullshit.  I really enjoyed this.”  My hour with Robin Williams was pretty special, too.  We compared our ridiculously hairy arms, and he said, “You’re wearing the Quest for Fire opera gloves, too!”  I loved talking with Bea Arthur, too.  She swore like a sailor, just as I hoped she would. 


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Drag celebrates the fabulous current and historical influence of drag, and its talented and inspiring performers.

Who’s your dream interview?  I want to write a first-person piece called, “My Year of Living with Cher.”  What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened during an interview?  When I was doing my satellite radio show, Alan Arkin came on to promote his memoir, and then—when the red light went on—he decided he didn’t want to talk about it.  His publicist was mortified.  Other than Bob Mackie, who’s your favorite designer?  I wrote about fashion for many years, and I adored getting to know Gianni Versace, the man as well as the designer.  He was very funny and very big-hearted.  Franco Moschino was a hoot, too.  I shouldn’t pick only Italians, so, while I’m namedropping, I’ll say that Karl Lagerfeld and Jean-Paul Gaultier were always pistols to chat with.  But, yeah, Bob Mackie will always be my favorite.  The book he and I did together in 1999 is a real treasure.  Other than RuPaul, who’s the most important drag queen, and why?  The brilliant playwright and actor Harvey Fierstein has done so much to not only entertain audiences, but also to educate them.  Thanks to him—and Mama Ru—drag queens can be more authentically and gloriously themselves.  He’s a true LGBTQ icon and activist, and I love that we’re pals. 

PHOTOGRAPH BY ERICA BERGER

Which drag queen is the most underrated?  More people need to know about the great Charles Pierce.  He was an amazing female impersonator whose signature bit was Bette Davis and Tallulah Bankhead reading each other to filth.  He’d do them both at the same time!  He’d say things like, “You’re so old, you need moisturizer or wood filler!”  It was genius.  Do you think that drag is too commercial now, or is that a good thing?  No!  I love how mainstream drag is now!  It’s about time everyone got with the program.  But, thank heaven, there’s also plenty of subversive drag for the snatching, too.  You just have to look harder to find the really wigged-out stuff—but you should!  Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now?  My two-day stint at Burger King.  It was a real drag.  If God were to take you tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered?  As someone who was really funny and really smart and a really good kisser.  What do you want to live long enough to see?  Me, back on TV on a regular basis!  Will you ever retire?  No!  My work is too fun to ever retire.  Plus, there’s this pair of Gucci glitter sneakers…  What’s the weirdest question that a fan ever asked you?  In high school, a classmate asked if he could paint my nose.  Not on canvas, my actual nose.  He was not a fan. 

What other celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?  I was star-struck when I said “hello” to Michelle Williams last week at a Fosse/Verdon event.  She’s so fantastic as Gwen Verdon that I was in awe just to breathe the same air!  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  My latest “Drag Moment of the Day” post!  I post them every day at @frankdecaroshow on every social media platform but Scruff.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited?  Hawaii.  And the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland.  What’s your favorite movie?  Imitation of Life—the 1959 Douglas Sirk version.  What drives you crazy?  A lack of curiosity, poor grammar, and bad teeth.  Not necessarily in that order.  Do you like zoos?  I like a good sample sale.  They can be a real zoo.  What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older?  That the only way isn’t up, it’s forward.  What did you learn from your parents?  My mother always said, “Nobody’s better than you, and you’re no better than anyone else.”  She was right.  Who’s your favorite performer?  Elton John.  What’s your best characteristic?  That the littlest things can bring me total joy.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  Laughing.  What celebrity do you have crush on?  Idris Elba.  I’d like him to you-know-what me in half. 


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If you’ve ever fantasized about feasting on Frank Sinatra’s Barbecued Lamb, lunching on Lucille Ball’s “Chinese-y Thing,” diving ever-so-neatly into Joan Crawford’s Poached Salmon, or wrapping your lips around Rock Hudson’s cannoli – and really, who hasn’t? – hold on to your oven mitts!

Whom do you admire?  My husband, Jim Colucci.  He’s the author of Golden Girls Forever, and just a swell guy.  And my drag mother, Bruce Vilanch.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be?  Divine.  Where would you go in a time machine?  The Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles on March 29, 1989.  I want to be in the room when Rob Lowe and Snow White sing their duet together on the OscarsWhat’s your favorite recipe?  Bucatini pasta with garlic, anchovies, and breadcrumbs. It’s my best dish, although my chocolate chip cookies with pecans and Heath Bar chips rock, too.  What would your last meal be?  A double Shack Burger, fries, and a Concrete from the Shake Shack.  What are you afraid of?  Stupid people in positions of power.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be?  A kazoo.  Who are you closest with?  My husband, my dog, and my “wife.”  What’s on your bucket list?  Seeing the Taj Mahal and the Sydney Opera House in person.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  Not learning to tap dance or speak fluent Italian—yet.  What’s something secret about you that people don’t know?  I find doing laundry extremely satisfying.  Where can we see you?  On my social media platforms, on my website, and at book signings!

 

COCO PERU

Coco Peru brings her unique brand of humor to Fort Lauderdale’s Sunshine Cathedral on March 23

Of all the movies and TV shows that you’ve been in, which one’s your favorite?  Trick, because I got to do a monologue, and it’s the film that put me on the map back in 1999!  Which interview from your live show, Conversations with Coco, is the most special to you?  They were all very special to me, but the person who started it all with me was Bea Arthur, who was my idol growing up.  And although she was very nervous about doing it, she cared deeply for gay youth and for me, and I will never forget that my idol did that favor for me by being my first guest.  What’s the strangest thing that even happened to you onstage?  I was doing a show in Provincetown, and there was a storm.  Towards the end of the show, the electricity went out.  I was standing there in total darkness, and the audience thought the show was over, and they were applauding.  Finally, they all realized the electricity had gone out.  And as they filed out of the theater, I was yelling out for help, because I was stuck onstage alone and couldn’t see a thing.

Is Drag Race making drag too commercial?  I get asked this question a lot.  My beef with reality TV, in general, is that we have made celebrities out of people who sometimes don’t have any craft, and we sadly don’t expect or even desire that an “entertainer” have a craft.  We are willing to throw our money at mediocrity.  However, I have benefitted personally from Drag Race and from drag becoming more mainstream.  I have many talented friends who’ve been on that show and have a craft and who deserve the success, and it’s amazing that we live in a world now where Ru can win Emmys!  Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now?  Being a waiter.  I was terrible!  If God were to take you tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered?  She did her best.  What do you want to live long enough to see?  Contact with alien life.  Will you ever retire?  Yes, in four years.  What’s the weirdest question that a fan’s asked you?  After showing a video in a show of myself speaking at Bea Arthur’s memorial, a fan asked me, “Did you really speak at Bea Arthur’s memorial?”

What’s the meanest thing that a homophobe has ever said to you?  “Can I help you, sir?”  What other celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?  Barbra Streisand.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  An article about Drag Race doing a “Legends” season, which I’m apparently a part of.  Fake news!  What’s the best place that you’ve visited?  Spain!  My husband, Rafael, is from Spain.  What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older?  That I wasn’t ugly when I was younger.  Who would you like to be for a day?  Albert Einstein, or another scientist like him, because I’d like to know what it feels like to have a brain that works like that.  Do you believe in an afterlife?  Sometimes.  But I do believe in ghosts, so I guess I do.  Do you think that this is the most amoral time that’s ever existed?  No—although it does feel pretty rotten sometimes.  Who or what is the greatest love of your life?  My husband.  What talent would you most like to have?  Speaking several foreign languages. 

If you were a dictator with unlimited powers, what would you do first?  Hard labor for intentional littering.  Or perhaps the death penalty for it, depending on my mood.  What did you learn from your parents?  Don’t hold grudges.  Who’s your favorite performer?  I love watching Julie Halston do anything.  Hilarious!  And Amy Armstrong.  And Varla Jean Merman…  I have many favorite performers!  What comic are you most influenced by?  I don’t feel influenced by comics.  What’s your best characteristic?  My eyes.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  Sitting on the beach in Spain, followed by a big lunch, followed by the best thing ever…  siestaWhat celebrity do you have a crush on?  The Rock—Dwayne Johnson.  Who do you admire?  Queens who show up on time and are prepared.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be?  My dad.  Where would you go in a time machine?  I’d go back and meet Jesus and tell him and his apostles to be very specific, because their words are going to get twisted and will cause me lots of damage.

PHOTOGRAPH BY PALADINO/DEN PHOTOGRAPHY

What would your last meal be?  Chicken parmigiana.  What do you worry about?  Everything.  But mostly littering and its effects on our oceans.  What are you afraid of?  Sharks.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be?  A trombone.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  I’m bi.  Who depends on you, and for what?  My fans depend on me to be truthful.  Who are you closest with?  Rafael.  What would your autobiography be called?  Out, Loud and ExhaustedWhat’s on your bucket list?  To learn Spanish.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  That I never learned Spanish.  And that I didn’t have sex during college!  What’s something secretive about you that people don’t know?  That I hate goat cheese with a passion.  Where can we see you?  At the Sunshine Cathedral in Fort Lauderdale!  Also, all my future dates are listed on my website.

AUDRA MCDONALD

Six-time Tony-winner Audra McDonald displayed her vocal abilities and charm in Fort Lauderdale last Wednesday

SHADE-O-METER RATING

5 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “10s ACROSS THE BOARD – LEGENDARY STATUS”

Who’s Audra McDonaldShe’s an actress and a singer.  At six Tony Awards, she’s won more of them than anyone other performer, and she’s the only performer to have won in all four acting categories.  What’s the Au-Rene TheaterIt’s the main theater at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts.  It holds about 2,600 people, and it has three levels.  How was the venue?  Elegant.  How was the parking?  They have valet, or you can park in the garage for $12.  The garage is about a block away.


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Sing Happy features many songs that are either new to McDonald’s repertoire, or have never before been recorded by her, such as “I Am What I Am” from La Cage aux Folles, “Vanilla Ice Cream” from She Loves Me, and “Children Will Listen” from Into The Woods.  The CD also offers a sneak peek at the repertoire she’s performing on her North American concert tour.

Does the venue serve liquor?  Yes, and there are multiple bars (guess they must want people drunk).  We got one double chardonnay for $19.  How were the drinks?  There was nothing special about it.  Does the venue serve food?  They have some snacks.  How was the food?  We didn’t get any.  Where were the seats?  At the back of the orchestra.  Was the show sold out?  It was about two-thirds full.  Was there an opening act?  No.

How was the concert?  A representative from the venue gave a short speech about upcoming shows, and then the concert began when a trio of musicians (a pianist, a drummer, and a bassist) came out, followed by McDonald a moment later.  McDonald walked onto the stage without fan fair, and then immediately launching into her first number, “When Did I Fall in Love,” from Fiorello!.  As this was a rescheduled concert from March, one of the first things that McDonald said when she spoke was to apologize for the delay, explaining how she loves her kids, but she doesn’t love their germs.  “You wouldn’t have wanted to hear me then, because I would have sounded like Bea Arthur.  But that’s not a criticism of Bea Arthur, because I love her.”  For those who were not familiar with McDonald’s personality, and, in direct contract to the loftiness of her voice, she had a surprisingly homespun charm about her.  She also joked and laughed about how her recent concert in Los Angeles was rainy, and how “the clouds have followed her” to Fort Lauderdale.  But enough talk about her personality; let’s get into the music.  It would be a mistake to interpret McDonald’s undramatic entrance as symbolic of a concert where the audience heard something that was anything less than extraordinary.  The concert was primarily composed of musical theater standards such as “Summertime,” “I Could Have Danced All Night,” and “Climb Ev’ry Mountain.”  McDonald also showcased new composers with Jason Robert Brown’s “Stars and the Moon,” amusingly prefaced with, “I think that we need to nurture new composers so that I still have a job.”  As McDonald would appear to be the vocal heir-apparent to Barbara Cook, it was no surprise that Cook’s legacy figured prominently in the concert: “She was my mentor.  I learned so much watching and performing with her.”  McDonald sung several numbers that Cook was known for, including the difficult, “Vanilla Ice Cream” (and if there were one number that got the loudest applause, this was it).  It was also obvious that McDonald inherited Cook’s humbleness and wit with the anecdote, “Kids, they keep you grounded.  When I called my oldest daughter after The Sound of Music Live! to see what she thought of it, she responded, ‘Mommy, where are the dryer sheets?’  So that was my review.”  But what also makes McDonald so great is her vocal versatility, and she showed off her talent in jazz with “Cornet Man” from Funny Girl.  And in the vein of that tradition of jazz and big bands, the encore for the evening was not a soprano classic but “Over The Rainbow,” which she dedicated to “Miss Judy Garland.”

How was the crowd?  Mostly middle-aged.  What could have improved the concert?  Given that most middle-aged people are not as enthusiastic as, lets say, a pack of teenage Shawn Mendes fans, the concert would have probably been more exciting if it was sold out and in a smaller venue.  Regarding the venue, it has too many ushers—they’re mulling about all over the place.  For, example, when I went to use the restroom halfway through the show (there was no intermission), I was faced with a line of about 20 seated ushers, and they all turned their heads towards me in unison, a la the The Stepford Wives, to see what I was up to.  My only critique about McDonald herself is that I would have liked to of heard at least one number from Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill.  Given her notoriety in the show, It was a bit disappointed that she didn’t do any numbers from it.  But a review can’t be based on what was omitted but what was presented.  And in that regard, McDonald’s voice sparkled to such a degree that she really is second-to-none.

What was surprising about the show?  It was hysterical and slightly shocking to hear McDonald cover the Kate Miller-Heidke song, “Are You Fucking Kidding Me? (The Facebook Song).”  When McDonald operatically enunciate the lyrics, “And so you want to be my friend on Facebook?  Oh you fucking, fucking fuck.  Click, ignore,” one knew that he or she wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

The Broward Center for the Performing Arts is located at 201 S.W. 5thAve., in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.