Frank DeCaro has interviewed them all, from Mel Brooks to Robin Williams to Bea Arthur. But on the heels of his new retrospective book about drag, what old job did DeCaro have that he said was a “real” drag?
If you had to live somewhere other than New Jersey or Los Angeles, where you would live? I wish we still had a Manhattan apartment. When I’m in New York City from morning until night—which happens a lot—there’s never anywhere to nap in the afternoon. I miss that. What’s special about L.A. that isn’t common knowledge? Not everyone knows that the best underground drag theater in L.A. is literally underground. It’s at the Cavern Club Celebrity Theater in the basement of a Mexican restaurant called Casita Del Campo in Silver Lake. I’ve had more fun there than the law allows. What’s the “interview that got away”? Liberace. When I get to hell, I hope he’s the first person I see. Which interview is most special to you, and why? Mel Brooks, because he’s my comedy idol. And at the end of our chat he said, “No bullshit. I really enjoyed this.” My hour with Robin Williams was pretty special, too. We compared our ridiculously hairy arms, and he said, “You’re wearing the Quest for Fire opera gloves, too!” I loved talking with Bea Arthur, too. She swore like a sailor, just as I hoped she would.
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Who’s your dream interview? I want to write a first-person piece called, “My Year of Living with Cher.” What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened during an interview? When I was doing my satellite radio show, Alan Arkin came on to promote his memoir, and then—when the red light went on—he decided he didn’t want to talk about it. His publicist was mortified. Other than Bob Mackie, who’s your favorite designer? I wrote about fashion for many years, and I adored getting to know Gianni Versace, the man as well as the designer. He was very funny and very big-hearted. Franco Moschino was a hoot, too. I shouldn’t pick only Italians, so, while I’m namedropping, I’ll say that Karl Lagerfeld and Jean-Paul Gaultier were always pistols to chat with. But, yeah, Bob Mackie will always be my favorite. The book he and I did together in 1999 is a real treasure. Other than RuPaul, who’s the most important drag queen, and why? The brilliant playwright and actor Harvey Fierstein has done so much to not only entertain audiences, but also to educate them. Thanks to him—and Mama Ru—drag queens can be more authentically and gloriously themselves. He’s a true LGBTQ icon and activist, and I love that we’re pals.
Which drag queen is the most underrated? More people need to know about the great Charles Pierce. He was an amazing female impersonator whose signature bit was Bette Davis and Tallulah Bankhead reading each other to filth. He’d do them both at the same time! He’d say things like, “You’re so old, you need moisturizer or wood filler!” It was genius. Do you think that drag is too commercial now, or is that a good thing? No! I love how mainstream drag is now! It’s about time everyone got with the program. But, thank heaven, there’s also plenty of subversive drag for the snatching, too. You just have to look harder to find the really wigged-out stuff—but you should! Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now? My two-day stint at Burger King. It was a real drag. If God were to take you tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered? As someone who was really funny and really smart and a really good kisser. What do you want to live long enough to see? Me, back on TV on a regular basis! Will you ever retire? No! My work is too fun to ever retire. Plus, there’s this pair of Gucci glitter sneakers… What’s the weirdest question that a fan ever asked you? In high school, a classmate asked if he could paint my nose. Not on canvas, my actual nose. He was not a fan.
What other celebrity did you act like a “fan” around? I was star-struck when I said “hello” to Michelle Williams last week at a Fosse/Verdon event. She’s so fantastic as Gwen Verdon that I was in awe just to breathe the same air! What’s the last thing that you looked at online? My latest “Drag Moment of the Day” post! I post them every day at @frankdecaroshow on every social media platform but Scruff. What’s the best place that you’ve visited? Hawaii. And the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. What’s your favorite movie? Imitation of Life—the 1959 Douglas Sirk version. What drives you crazy? A lack of curiosity, poor grammar, and bad teeth. Not necessarily in that order. Do you like zoos? I like a good sample sale. They can be a real zoo. What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older? That the only way isn’t up, it’s forward. What did you learn from your parents? My mother always said, “Nobody’s better than you, and you’re no better than anyone else.” She was right. Who’s your favorite performer? Elton John. What’s your best characteristic? That the littlest things can bring me total joy. How do you enjoy spending your time? Laughing. What celebrity do you have crush on? Idris Elba. I’d like him to you-know-what me in half.
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Whom do you admire? My husband, Jim Colucci. He’s the author of Golden Girls Forever, and just a swell guy. And my drag mother, Bruce Vilanch. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be? Divine. Where would you go in a time machine? The Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles on March 29, 1989. I want to be in the room when Rob Lowe and Snow White sing their duet together on the Oscars. What’s your favorite recipe? Bucatini pasta with garlic, anchovies, and breadcrumbs. It’s my best dish, although my chocolate chip cookies with pecans and Heath Bar chips rock, too. What would your last meal be? A double Shack Burger, fries, and a Concrete from the Shake Shack. What are you afraid of? Stupid people in positions of power. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be? A kazoo. Who are you closest with? My husband, my dog, and my “wife.” What’s on your bucket list? Seeing the Taj Mahal and the Sydney Opera House in person. What’s your greatest regret in life? Not learning to tap dance or speak fluent Italian—yet. What’s something secret about you that people don’t know? I find doing laundry extremely satisfying. Where can we see you? On my social media platforms, on my website, and at book signings!
How did you come up with your name? The first time I ever dressed up, I called myself “Lorraine.” Someone [Treva Trash] came over to me and asked me what my name was. I told her that it was Lorraine, but she said that I looked more like a “Cathy.” “Big Mama” gave me my last name, “Craig,” after Dr. Craig from General Hospital. Who’s the best drag queen or all time, and why? I’ve had many inspirations, but the one who comes to mind is 
Do you think that drag is becoming too mainstream? No. I got into this to become mainstream. I would love to be in films and TV, either in or out of drag. How would you like to be remembered? As a good entertainer, a wonderful person and someone who was always available when needed. Will you ever retire? I don’t feel that I’ll ever retire. I’ve performed for over 40 years, and I don’t plan on retiring anywhere in the near future. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? The last thing that I looked up online, unfortunately, was about an ailment—and that’s not funny. What’s the best place that you’ve visited? I’ve been many places, but my favorites are Las Vegas and cruises. What’s your favorite movie? 
Would you give a kidney to a relative or close friend? You better believe I would. But they better watch out, because I’m getting close to Depends age. How do you most enjoy spending your time? Going with my friends to movies, out to dinner and to thrift stores. As long as you have friends, you have everything. Who do you admire? Someone who’s not afraid to take a chance. They say to “take the bull by the horns,” but I was sometimes afraid that I would get stabbed. Where would you go in a time machine, and why? I would go to the past and I would change a few things. I would have been more prepared for retirement, I would have fearlessly pursued a larger career, and I would have taken care of my health. What would your last meal be? Probably macaroni and cheese made with fontina and gorgonzola. What do you worry about? I worry about the future and that no one will remember me. I also worry that I won’t be able to enjoy the rest of my life. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why? I’d be the piano. It’s the only instrument you really need. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? A sheep with a fluffy coat.