TAP 42

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What’s Tap 42It’s a craft-beer bar and a restaurant in the southern part of Fort Lauderdale.  The “42” in the name comes from 42 beers on-tap (I counted).  There are five locations throughout South Florida.  Was there an age restriction?  No.  Come one, come all.


ADVERSTISEMENT

USA Beer Cap Map with Dark Stain. Holds 50 beer bottle caps snugly. Simply push the cap from the back and display your favorite brews. Perfect for the man cave!

What time did we go?  7:00 p.m.  How was the maître d’?  Fine.  However, they’re really hosts/hostesses rather than maître d’s.  What was the décor like?  Rustic, with a conspicuous absence of the appurtenances of wealth.  But there is a whiff of the corporate hand (the décor of Cracker Barrel comes to mind).

What was the seating like?  There’s seating inside and out.  They had bar seating, regular seating and seating at counter-height tables inside.  There are only tables outside—no bar.  Both areas were equally popular.  What was the atmosphere like?  Very loud!  What was the crowd like?  A good mix of young professionals and middle-aged people. 

How was the cruising?  No queens.  She only served femme and butch realness.  When’s happy hour?  It’s from 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m., Monday through Friday.  You get $2 off for happy hour.  What libations were ordered?  One Drafted Old Fashion for $12, and one Chardonnay for $9.  Were they served timely?  Yes.

How were the drinks?  The old fashion was excellent.  The drink had something in it that I couldn’t quit place, which can likely be attributed to the house-infused beer syrup.  In keeping with the rustic theme, the glass that the drink was in was very thick and heavy.  The Chardonnay was fine, but nothing to write home about.

What was ordered?  A Basket of Crispy Fries for $6, a Frame Grilled Chicken Wings for $13.50, a side of Roasted Brussel Sprouts for $6, and the Prohibition Burger for $14.50.  Was the food served timely?  Si.

How was the food?  Without a doubt, the standout were the wings.  OMG.  The closest I can compare them to is the dry-rub BBQ that’s in Memphis.  The meat fell off the bone, the flavor was exquisite, and they were served with copious amounts of homemade blue cheese dressing.  To die for…  The fries were addictive, but a bit too salty.  At first I thought that they tasted almost exactly like McDonald’s fries, but eventually it became apparent that they’re more-than-likely hand-cut.  The burger and Brussel sprouts were good, but, of the two, the Brussel sprouts won—they were seasoned with maple syrup (could use a smidge less of it), mustard and thyme, and had a wonderful burnt flavor.

How was the service?  Fine.  And we told the server that we had to be out of there by 7:45 p.m., and she made it happen.  What stands out about the place?  The beer taps…  And the wings! 

What could be improved?  The server could maybe do a better job about describing the architecture of the restaurant.  The website has no information about it, but it looks like half of the building is a brewery?  Also, there’s no regular parking, only valet.  Even though it’s free, not really feeling this.  What was surprising?  The locale.  There’s really not much around it, so it comes off like a hidden gem.

Tap 42 is located at 1411 South Andrews Ave., in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  It’s open seven days a week from about 11:00 a.m. to about midnight (the “bar stays open based on volume”).   

BAREBACK FOLLIES

The old school met the new this Thursday, in Suzanne Bartsch’s Art Basal edition of the Bareback Follies

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What’s Bareback FolliesIt’s a burlesque/drag show at El Tucan.  It’s hosted by long-time New York club promoter Suzanne BartschWhat’s El TucanIt’s a cabaret/nightclub in downtown Miami.  Specifically, it’s in the Brickell area.  The venue offers a dinner and a show.

How was the venue?  It’s beautiful and classy.  It’s also the perfect size (for you size queens).  How was the parking?  There’s a parking lot right around the corner.  It costs $10 to park in it.  The venue has valet as well.  Does the venue serve liquor?  Of course.

How were the drinks?  Now, here’s where things went wrong.  If you’re going to advertise “luxe libations,” then you better have bartenders that know what a sidecar is.  Methinks The Fine Art of Mixing Cocktails would be mandatory reading for their bartenders.  Other than this faux pas, the drinks were well-made.  However, even for Miami, they’re a bit pricey.  Wine was $17, and a Manhattan was $15.  Girls, this ain’t the Four Seasons.

Does the venue serve food?  Yes.  However, we didn’t do the dinner and show—just the show.  The regular prix-fixe is $55, and the seasonal one is $85.  How much were the tickets?  $25.  Was the show sold out?  No.  How was the crowd?  At times, in competition with the performers for the spotlight.

How was the show?  The inheritors of Warhol’s “Silver” Factor crowd, and a group that could be considered one of the earliest media whores, the club kids of the 1980s and early 1990s would even rival today’s most Instagram-obsessed individuals for attention.  The show featured some notable figures from that era, some modern burlesque acts, and some performers from RuPaul’s Drag Race.  Standout numbers were Shequida singing “Whatever Lola Wants” (re-done as “Whatever Shequida Wants”), where she fluctuated between a baritone voice and a contralto, Brent Ray Fraser painting with his penis, Amanda Lepore (billed as “having a body that costs a million dollars”), and Adora, who cleverly channeled the history of the area with an exaggerated “cha-cha” number.

What could have improved the show?  Although all of the performances were professional and adept, some of them didn’t necessarily stand out.  To quote “Mama Ru,” some of them should probably be “up for elimination” in order to elevate the bar.

What could have improved the venue?  Um, the AC wasn’t really working.  It must have been 1,000 degrees in there.  If you’re going to have a dress code, and you want people to come in “cocktail attire” or “formal wear,” please appropriately chill the customers (or change the dress code to clothing-optional).

What was surprising about the show?  That it left you wanting more.  Each performer only did one number, so they gave you their best.

El Tucan is located at 1111 Southwest 1st Ave., in Miami, Florida.  It open Thursday, Friday and Saturday.