MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Interviews

HEKLINA

What does a tambourine, rats, Iceland, and a Halloween party in San Francisco have in common?  Answer: Heklina!

By Mike Jeknavorian

Where did you grow up?  Iceland, Minnesota, New York, and Boston.  What do you miss about any of those places?  I miss Iceland, because it’s the one place I can relax.  What’s something special about San Francisco that’s not common knowledge?  This is a hard question, as the city is a mess right now.  A lot of the special things have been drained away, but it’s still the city I look forward to getting back to whenever I travel.  If you had to live somewhere other than San Francisco, where would you live?  Well, I bought a house in Palm Springs, so there for sure (laughs).  Also, Iceland, and perhaps Puerta Vallarta.  What’s the most outrageous thing that you’ve ever seen at Trannshack?  Oh my god, there were so many things, it’s impossible to narrow one down.  But perhaps the first most shocking thing was when the club first opened in 1996.  A queen named RunRig popped popcorn off a hot-plate on her head, and immediately after her performance had to be rushed to the hospital for life-threatening burns to her scalp! 

ADVERTISEMENT

Who’s the most underrated drag queen?  Anyone not on RuPaul’s Drag Race.  Has drag become too mainstream and lost its send of the irreverent?  Yes.  Of all the films spoofs that you’ve been in, which one was your favorite?  The favorite thing I do is our Golden Girls LIVE production!  Who’s your favorite film performer?  Wow.  I guess Elizabeth Taylor…  Or Divine.  What’s your favorite film?  The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a film I can watch over and over.  It’s clichéd, but true.  Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now?  Data processor in the navy.  If God were to take you tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered?  For the things that I’ve created—Trannyshack and Oasis—and the fact that I never fucked anyone over or was dishonest in getting where I am.

What do you want to live long enough to see?  The death of Donald Trump of course!  Will you ever retire?  Yes.  What’s the weirdest question that a fan’s asked you?  Nothing seems weird to me.  What other celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?  Bjork.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  Porn.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited?  Rio De Janeiro.  What politician don’t you like?  I don’t like any of them!  What’s your favorite drink?  Coffee.  What’s your most treasured possession?  My cat, Dexter.  Do you believe in ghosts?  Absolutely.  Either living or dead, who would you love to have lunch with?  Judy Garland.  What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older?  Don’t sweat the small stuff, and—for god’s sake—don’t try and solve arguments online.

What did you learn from your parents?  What not to do.  Who’s your favorite performer?  David Bowie.  What’s your best characteristic?  I’m loyal, if you don’t fuck me over.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  Going to shows—concerts, theater and films—and traveling.  What celebrity do you have crush on?  Chris Evans!  Who do you admire?  David Bowie.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be?  David Bowie (laughs).  I love Bowie.  Where would you go in a time machine?  Back to 1975.  I was just a baby, but I’d like to be an adult during that era.  Glam rock, disco, and punk!  What would your last meal be?  Barbecue!  What do you worry about?  Climate change.  What are you afraid of?  Rats and heights.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be?  A tambourine.  I don’t wanna be bothered too much.

Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  A wolf, for sure.  Many boys who cross my path can vouch for that.  Who depends on you, and for what?  My cat Dexter does, for the obvious things.  My employees do, for a livelihood.  My audience…?  Who are you closest with?  Pippi Lovestocking, Peaches Christ, and Matthew Martin.  What would your autobiography be called?  That’s It?  What’s on your bucket list?  An African safari.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  Wasting all my time as a youth taking drugs and clubbing.  But it’s also the thing I remember most fondly.  What’s something secretive about you that people don’t know?  I’m actually a really nice person.  Never trust anyone who is not a cunt.  Where can we see you?  At Oasis!  Also, at the Victoria Theatre this December for Golden Girls LIVE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Interviews

TRIXIE MATTEL

Before her show tonight at Disney’s House of Blues, Trixie Mattel—in an exclusive interview from a secret bath house in Orlando—reveals what’s the best TV show that she’s been on, and it’s not what you think

Fort Lauderdale was the first stop of your Moving Parts tour.  Did you have time to do anything fun when you were there?  I went to a souvenir shop, and I got a shirt with upside down lettering that says, “If you can read this, put me back on my bar stool.”  What’s something that you miss about Milwaukee?  Three-dollar Long Island’s and hardcore mid-western accents.  Everyone sounds equally nice and over it.  Where do you live now?  I’m a real-life jaded TV personality, so I live in L.A., near a Whole Foods.  My hobbies include spotting pretend service dogs and juicing.  If you had to live somewhere else, where would you live, and why?  In San Francisco.  I’m always looking for new ways to get gayer and surround myself with gays.  Separate but equal is fine with me.   What was the inspiration for the cover of One Stone?  I wanted to serve awkward-recently-divorced-folk-duo performing at a VFW.

ADVERTISMENT

Trixie’s latest album, featuring the single, “Moving Parts.”

What do you think about Dollywood?  It’s my mecca.  I have to go once a year or I lose my dental insurance.  Who would your dream duet be with?  I would like to play with Sarah Silverman.  Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now?  I used to caption telephone calls for the deaf.  I am now more impatient with the elderly than ever.  Who came up with the line “Book the Bitch” from the “About” section of your website?  I never update my website, so you’d have to ask me four years ago.  And me four years go didn’t have a phone.  Of all your projects, which one do you cherish the most?  I love The Trixie and Katya Show.  Winning Drag Race was cool, but having our own show was a huge freeze-frame life moment.  What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked? People always tell me my journey with depression has inspired them—but I am fully not depressed.

What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?  Oh, I met Baby Spice, and my asshole sealed up forever.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  I have been following the Robbie Turner-Uber-driver-death-saga online. I will be holding a candlelit vigil this evening for the Uber driver.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited so far?  I am obsessed with Dallas.  Fully obsessed.  It’s like the L.A. of Texas.  What’s your current state-of-mind?  I’m sipping a wine cooler and wondering why Melissa Joan Hart follows me on Twitter.  What were you doing before you read these questions?  My friend’s dog died, and I was comforting him—wow, the nerve of you even asking!   What’s your idea of perfect happiness?  I want to tour half the year, and live as a hermit in the woods the other half.  I also want to write music for other artists.  Specifically, for Miley Cyrus. 

What’s your greatest fear?  My phone battery at 1%.  Living or dead, who’s the greatest political figure in America?  Maxine Waters.  I once saw her use the word “scumbags” in an interview.  What did you learn from your parents?  That you can only run from your bills for so long.  What performer do you admire, and why?  I love June Carter Cash.  Her songs are amazing, and so is her sense of humor.  Who’s your favorite comic?  I have a few.  Ellen, Maria Bamford, Dana Gould and Anthony Jeselnik.  What’s your best characteristic?  I’m a great salesperson.  I could sell candy to a kid—from a van.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  I love playing video games and playing around with my guitar collection.  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  I’m obsessed with Nev Schulman, Paul Rudd and Jesse Eisenburg.  The Jew-chasing life chose me. 

ADVERTISEMENT

Download Trixie’s debut album

Who do you admire, and why?  I love Dolly.  She has the best songs, the best jokes, and the best wigs.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be?  Robbie Turner’s Uber driver.  Where would you go in a time machine, and why?  I would go back in time and warn Robbie Turner’s Uber driver.  What would your last meal be?  I would cheat on my vegetarianism and have like ten cheeseburgers from McDonalds, complete with happy meal toys!  What do you worry about?  I worry about falling out of the zeitgeist and having to clean dwarf hamster cages at Petco.  They bite when they don’t trust you.  What are you afraid of?  I do not fuck with gorillas.  I won’t even go to Rainforest Cafe.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why?  I would be spoons, because they’re cheap, practical and timeless.

Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  I’m a disgusting, mangled wolf from hell.  Who depends on you, and for what?  The children of America count on me for relatable content and apparently depression counseling (laughs).  Who are you closest with?  I am forever in love with Jinkx and Bob The Drag Queen!  What would your autobiography be called?  I Know Why The Caged Bird Lip Syncs.  What music do you listen to when you’re upset?  I love sad music. Jason Isbell!  What’s on your bucket list?  I need to buy a house in a Palm Springs and wear caftans all day.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  I wish that I didn’t leave the Spice Girls.  What’s something that you never told anyone else?  That I go out to gay bars in masks so that I can be invisible.  Where can we see you?  In a 39 U.S. cities tour all spring and summer!