MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Interviews

COCO PERU

Coco Peru brings her unique brand of humor to Fort Lauderdale’s Sunshine Cathedral on March 23

Of all the movies and TV shows that you’ve been in, which one’s your favorite?  Trick, because I got to do a monologue, and it’s the film that put me on the map back in 1999!  Which interview from your live show, Conversations with Coco, is the most special to you?  They were all very special to me, but the person who started it all with me was Bea Arthur, who was my idol growing up.  And although she was very nervous about doing it, she cared deeply for gay youth and for me, and I will never forget that my idol did that favor for me by being my first guest.  What’s the strangest thing that even happened to you onstage?  I was doing a show in Provincetown, and there was a storm.  Towards the end of the show, the electricity went out.  I was standing there in total darkness, and the audience thought the show was over, and they were applauding.  Finally, they all realized the electricity had gone out.  And as they filed out of the theater, I was yelling out for help, because I was stuck onstage alone and couldn’t see a thing.

Is Drag Race making drag too commercial?  I get asked this question a lot.  My beef with reality TV, in general, is that we have made celebrities out of people who sometimes don’t have any craft, and we sadly don’t expect or even desire that an “entertainer” have a craft.  We are willing to throw our money at mediocrity.  However, I have benefitted personally from Drag Race and from drag becoming more mainstream.  I have many talented friends who’ve been on that show and have a craft and who deserve the success, and it’s amazing that we live in a world now where Ru can win Emmys!  Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now?  Being a waiter.  I was terrible!  If God were to take you tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered?  She did her best.  What do you want to live long enough to see?  Contact with alien life.  Will you ever retire?  Yes, in four years.  What’s the weirdest question that a fan’s asked you?  After showing a video in a show of myself speaking at Bea Arthur’s memorial, a fan asked me, “Did you really speak at Bea Arthur’s memorial?”

What’s the meanest thing that a homophobe has ever said to you?  “Can I help you, sir?”  What other celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?  Barbra Streisand.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  An article about Drag Race doing a “Legends” season, which I’m apparently a part of.  Fake news!  What’s the best place that you’ve visited?  Spain!  My husband, Rafael, is from Spain.  What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older?  That I wasn’t ugly when I was younger.  Who would you like to be for a day?  Albert Einstein, or another scientist like him, because I’d like to know what it feels like to have a brain that works like that.  Do you believe in an afterlife?  Sometimes.  But I do believe in ghosts, so I guess I do.  Do you think that this is the most amoral time that’s ever existed?  No—although it does feel pretty rotten sometimes.  Who or what is the greatest love of your life?  My husband.  What talent would you most like to have?  Speaking several foreign languages. 

If you were a dictator with unlimited powers, what would you do first?  Hard labor for intentional littering.  Or perhaps the death penalty for it, depending on my mood.  What did you learn from your parents?  Don’t hold grudges.  Who’s your favorite performer?  I love watching Julie Halston do anything.  Hilarious!  And Amy Armstrong.  And Varla Jean Merman…  I have many favorite performers!  What comic are you most influenced by?  I don’t feel influenced by comics.  What’s your best characteristic?  My eyes.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  Sitting on the beach in Spain, followed by a big lunch, followed by the best thing ever…  siesta!  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  The Rock—Dwayne Johnson.  Who do you admire?  Queens who show up on time and are prepared.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be?  My dad.  Where would you go in a time machine?  I’d go back and meet Jesus and tell him and his apostles to be very specific, because their words are going to get twisted and will cause me lots of damage.

PHOTOGRAPH BY PALADINO/DEN PHOTOGRAPHY

What would your last meal be?  Chicken parmigiana.  What do you worry about?  Everything.  But mostly littering and its effects on our oceans.  What are you afraid of?  Sharks.  If you were a musical instrument, what would you be?  A trombone.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  I’m bi.  Who depends on you, and for what?  My fans depend on me to be truthful.  Who are you closest with?  Rafael.  What would your autobiography be called?  Out, Loud and Exhausted.  What’s on your bucket list?  To learn Spanish.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  That I never learned Spanish.  And that I didn’t have sex during college!  What’s something secretive about you that people don’t know?  That I hate goat cheese with a passion.  Where can we see you?  At the Sunshine Cathedral in Fort Lauderdale!  Also, all my future dates are listed on my website.

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Events

JOHN WATERS

John Waters debuted his new show, A Filthy World, in Fort Lauderdale last Saturday, to an almost sold-out crowd 

SHADE-O-METER RATING

OUTTA 5 WERKS: “10s ACROSS THE BOARD – LEGENDARY STATUS”

Who’s John Waters?  I think we all know who he is.  If you’re the one-in-a-million who doesn’t, look him up.  What’s Sunshine Cathedral?  It’s a predominately LGBT church/performing arts venue (yes, just like the original Ryman Auditorium, sans the LGBT part).  How was the venue?  For the most part, it looked like a modern church.  But there weren’t any wood pews (thank God).  The seats were comfortable.  The main décor on the stage were spotlight urns, which has sticks fanning out of them (very Blair Witch).  How was the parking?  Parking was available in various grass-lots, which only required a short walk to the venue.  Does the venue serve liquor?  I saw a few people with beer bottles in their hands, so there must be some type of cabaret license—probably for beer and wine only.  How were the drinks?  We didn’t get any.  Does the venue serve food?  Nope.  How much were the tickets?  $30.  Where were the seats?  Towards the back, but there really was no bad seat in the venue.  According to the website, it holds 450 people.  Was the show sold out?  Just about.  Who was the opening act?  Unless you count the one drag queen who sauntered up and down the aisle a few times as an “opening act,” there wasn’t any.

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How was the show?  To begin, Waters wasn’t quite the most natural or humanistic performer.  And for all intents and purposes, the show really was a scripted comedy show—it wasn’t simply him discussing his career.  Considering this, Waters wasn’t as proficient in this arena as, for example, Chris Rock or Gilbert Gottfried.  The show was loosely framed around several themes: Trump/politics (with Trump characterized as a “shithole in the White House” and an “orange anus”), a satirical look at what a “President Waters” administration would be like, the contradiction between being irreverent versus owning three houses, Hollywood directors and Hollywood itself, his film career (which took up half the show; Female Trouble probably got the loudest applause), and, finally, his desires for the future (i.e., open a store, have a fashion line, continue writing and touring).  As contained in Water’s films, he seemed to find the greatest glee in the off-beat and the absurdities of life.

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When John Waters delivered his gleefully subversive advice to the graduates of the Rhode Island School of Design, the speech went viral, in part because it was so brilliantly on point about making a living as a creative person. Now we can all enjoy his sly wisdom in a manifesto that reminds us, no matter what field we choose, to embrace chaos, be nosy, and outrage our critics.

Some of the better lines in the show were: “Old chickens make good soup.  Hunting isn’t a sport if the animals aren’t trained to shoot back.  I was at a party, and they handed poppers to a young person, and they drank them.  I feel bad for drag queens today; who would want to be Melania Trump?  Wouldn’t Hairpie be a great title for a porn spoof of Hairspray?  We’re [me and my actors] all going to be buried in plots near Divine; it’ll be called Disgraceland.  The only way that kids can rebel today is to tell their parents that they don’t want a phone.  We have too many gays already; new ones should have to ‘audition’ on a reality show.  Can you imagine a scatological porn version of Schindler’s List called Shitler’s List?  Everything is so PC today; you can’t even call someone a ‘cocksucker’ anymore.”  Waters closed the formal part of the show with a kind of poetic discourse about how his dreams came true because of “you, the audience,” but he urged them to stay on the “other side of dreamland,” like in Fort Lauderdale, which always had—among other things—the best hustlers.

How was the crowd?  They laughed, but there wasn’t any on-the-floor guffawing going on or any displays of uncontrollable stitches.  What could have improved the show?  The venue needs to teach some of the ushers some manners.  The producer made a pre-show announcement that no video recording was allowed.  I tried to take a picture when Waters came on the stage, but I barely had the phone up before an usher slammed his hand down on my shoulder, informing that no video was allowed.  When I clarified that I wasn’t taking video, he said that “no pictures were allowed, either.”  That’s all fine and dandy, but you need to tell the audience that first.  Very rude behavior, if you ask me.

What was surprising about the show?  Waters did a Q&A for a good 20 minutes at the end, with the house lights up, and, although it wasn’t necessarily shocking that he did it, I certainly wasn’t expecting it.  It was during this section that the full personality—more or less—was on display, and what Waters might have previously lacked in performance acumen during the formal set, he made up for during this segment.  The Q&A was prefaced with, “I’ll answer anything.”  During it, he discussed how the internet has hooked up the world to the point where you can create anywhere, but there are still a few cities left that have “local color” (for example, Baltimore).  How his books sell better than his last film did.  How one of his favorite recent films was Mom and Dad.  How “no’s” are free, but you only need one “yes” to make it in show business.  How dogs have been sentenced to a lifetime of “human caresses.”  That after he met Clint Eastwood, the press coined the meeting as, “The Odd Couple.”  How Divine could make it today, since it’s even easier to make “underground” films now.  His thoughts on glory holes (he likes them).  And, lastly, Waters urged the audience to keep creating.  For, “It’s easy to shock.  But it’s much harder to make people laugh at what they’re uncomfortable with—that’s what I always tried to do.”

Sunshine Cathedral is located at 1480 Southwest 9th Ave., in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.