MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

SUE MARTINO

From the incipiency of the Big Bang, to standing on the equator, humanitarian Sue Martino has a lot of things on her mind, including a humane vision for all of Florida’s sheltered pets

Where did you grow up?  In New York City.  How long have you lived in South Florida?  Since August 2006.  Why did you move here?  A business partner asked me to operate and manage a few of his small hotels in Fort Lauderdale beach.  What part of South Florida do you live in?  In Wilton Manors.  What do you like most about living here?  I think I like the weather most.  Second would be the openness.  What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone?  The Copa and the tea dances at the beach.  Where do you hang out in South Florida, and why?  I patronize the restaurants and shops on Wilton Drive.  I also enjoy meeting friends at the small neighborhood bars such as Smarty Pants and Mona’s.  What’s your claim-to-fame?  Heading up the Pet Project.  What was your first pet?  A dog named “Fluffy.”  What’s your favorite pet?  I love all of my pets—past, present and future.

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How many pets do you think The Pet Project has serviced?  Over the past 15 years, I’m sure over 20,000.  Are you a vegetarian?  No.  How would you like to be remembered?  As a person who cared and wanted to make a difference in the lives of animals and in the lives of humans who are disabled, ill or aging.  Will you ever retire?  No, I don’t think so.  I have too much to accomplish yet.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  My emails.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why?  So far, it would have to be Disney World.  It’s the “happiest place on earth,” and I  love the magic!  For a foreign trip, it would have to be the Panama Canal.  What an amazing part of the world.  The beauty, the two connecting oceans, the vessels that sail through the canal, the bridge that towers over the canal connecting the two sides… just breathtaking and amazing.  What do you think is your greatest achievement?  Taking The Pet Project to the level we are at today, and being chosen as the Florida affiliate for the Rescue Bank. 

PHOTOGRAPH BY STEPHEN R. LANG

What’s your favorite book?  The Celestine Prophecy.  How do you most enjoy spending your time?  Hanging at home with my wife and my pets.  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  No crushes, but I respect Ellen DeGeneres.  I think that she’s very courageous and giving.  Who do you admire?  Celine Dion.  She’s a wonderful singer, and she was a loyal wife.  She’s also strong, smart, and a good person.  She really is a role model for women.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why?  My mom, because I miss her.  And I sometimes need her strength and inspiration.  Where would you go in a time machine, and why?  To the Big Bang.  I would like to experience the beginning of the universe.  What would your last meal be?  Scrambled eggs with American cheese, an English muffin, French fries and a glass of milk.  What do you worry about?  I worry about the lives of innocent animals who are abused or abandoned or surrendered to overcrowded shelters.  They must be so hurt inside, and many are suffering.

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If you were a musical instrument, what would you be, and why?  I think I would be a set of drums because they’re the backbone of music.  They’re the beat and the “life” of music, and they’re strong.  I like that.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  I am definitely more like a wolf.  I’m a risk-taker, I have no fear of most things, and I would stand up to anything.  Who depends on you, and for what?  A lot of people and their pets depend on me for basic essentials.  My own pets depend on me as well.  Who are you closest with?  My wife and my god daughter.  What would your autobiography be called?  Finding the Way, No Matter What.  Do you ever put music on when you’re upset?  Yes.  Music always makes me feel better.  I like the solid-gold oldies, disco, dance music and Broadway hits.  What’s on your bucket list?  A month or longer in Italy, a trip to the Galapagos, a cruise around the world, and I want to stand on the equator.  I also want to expand the Pet Project to all states, and I’d like to see all of Florida as “no-kill” state.

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What’s your greatest regret in life?  That I didn’t do more to help animals earlier in my life.  But I’m working hard to make up for lost time.  Tell me something that you’ve never told anyone else.  I’ll tell you something that occurred recently that I wouldn’t have told anyone else.  As Irma was approaching—and I’ve never experienced a hurricane before—I began to put a few clients and their pets who were at risk of flooding into the Pet Project building.  As I left the building, I realized that over 900 people and over 1,100 pets depended on me and the Pet Project, and I was afraid.  It never dawned on me before the magnitude of the people and pets who would need help if there had been a really bad disaster.  It left me very shaken.  But thank the universe, we all survived.  Where can we see you?  At The Pet Project almost every day!

PHOTOGRAPH BY MAGGIE MARTINO
MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Events

GRINDR: THE OPERA

SHADE-O-METER RATING

3 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NO SHADE, BUT SHE DIDN’T TURN IT OUT”

What’s GRINDR: The Opera?  It’s a pop opera.  The music, libretto and lyrics are by Erik Ransom.  What’s Empire Stage?  It’s a lovely little theater in an industrial section of Wilton Manors.  Specifically, it’s down the street from the all-male strip club, Le Boy.  How many people does the venue hold?  About 50.  How was the parking?  They have parking behind the venue and on the street.  Both are free.  Does the venue serve liquor?  No imbibements are offered.  Does the venue serve food?  Nope.  How much were the tickets?  $35.  Was the show sold out?  Yes.  How was the crowd?  All queens.  I don’t think I saw one female in the house.

How was the music?  To quote Hamlet, “The play’s the thing.”  That too can be said of a musical—the music’s “the thing.”  Considering this, it’s highly unlikely that one would leave the theater remembering one song that was heard.  I certainly didn’t.  The only song that I remembered was the last one, “What a Tangled Web We Weave,” and that was only because of the title.  The mostly-derivative pop rock-ish score consisted of whiffs of lesser numbers from Hamilton, Rent, Next to Normal, Dear Even Hanson and Depeche Mode, and then filtered through the prism of the cult film Phantom of the Paradise.  Of note, the show is performed to a track.

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How was the story?  The story consists of a rather conventional conceit of four male Grindr uses who’s lives inevitably intersect.  One could view this aspect of the story as a metaphor for the medical opinion that when you sleep with someone, you’re also sleeping with everyone else that they’ve ever slept with.  GRINDR: The Opera is a story of boy-meets-boy, boy then cheats-on-boy.  To make matters worse, the “Jezebel” character who sleeps with the one boy—sobriqueted on Grindr as “powerbottom18”—has a father that’s a closet-cased city councilman.  Surveying all these festivities was the “spirt” of Grindr, or “mother” Grindr herself—a drag queen.  How were the lyrics?  With lyrics such as “I want to be seeded,” “I’ll be your cum dumpster,” “Split me down the middle like the Berlin Wall,” and “Fuck me until I’m bleeding,” this show definitely ain’t for the kiddies.  Parents and expecting mothers, take note.

How was the set design and staging?  This was fine.  If anything, this was one of the better aspects of the show.  The staging used the limited space and resources to maximum effect, with actors shifting around sets and props to indicate transitions.  The infamous Grindr logo loomed front and center, with Sauron-like glowing eyes that surveyed the character’s antics.  How was the costume design?  Appropriate, for the most part, yet not always.  For example, a glaring example of an incorrect design was the costume for the councilman character.  The character was dressed in an ill-fitted suit, with no tie or socks on, and with the shirt collar worn over the jacket’s collar.  Not only is this 1990s-inspired look inappropriate for a contemporary show, but it’s highly unlikely that an uptight closet case politician would be caught dead in such a disheveled getup.

What could have improved the show?  The music is what it is, and it’s up to the composer to write better songs.  However, of particular irritation was this “mother” Grindr character, which, according to the website, is described as a “mythical” siren.  Even those with only a passing knowledge of Greek mythology will recognize the symbolic similarities between the Grindr icon and the permanently erect and ready satyr.  One can only imagine why mother “Drag Race” Grindr wasn’t reconceived as some kind of devil-faced enticing “daddy” Grindr instead.  What was surprising about the show?  According to the creator of Grindr, the app is named after coffee grinds, as in, “grinding” people together like they were coffee grounds.  In that venture, the musical appeared to succeed.

GRINDR: The Opera plays through November 19 at Empire Stage.  Empire Stage is located at 1140 North Flagler Drive, in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

TERRY HAMMOND

Julliard-educated composer & performer Terry Hammond talks about what Judy Garland once told him, the legendary Marlin Beach Hotel, and how he’s poised for the next chapter of his life 

PHOTOGRAPH BY POMPANO BILL

Where did you grow up?  I’m from New Hampshire, but we moved to New York City when I was very young.  My parents saw that I had talent, so we moved there.  I majored in piano at Julliard.  How long have you lived in South Florida?  Since 1979.  Why did you move here?  Before moving here, I was working in TV and Broadway in New York.  I had a two-year stint in Europe, and a friend suggested that we swing by Fort Lauderdale.  I was enchanted with here.  I decided to move here because the notion of having my own home was appealing, and I had friends here.  Also, I believed that my writing skills were of primary importance, and I felt that I could do that anywhere.  Besides, the guys are hotter here than in New York.  What part of South Florida do you live in?  I live in Coral Ridge neighborhood of Fort Lauderdale, which is by the intercostal highway.  What do you like most about living here?  There are three things that I like most about living here—the weather, the weather, and the weather.  What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone?  The Marlin Beach Hotel.  It had everything, and that was the very first place that I performed at when I moved here.  Does anyone still remember it?  Where do you hang out in South Florida now?  In my lovely home, which is filled with everything that inspires me and that I love.  But when I need a break, I hop over to Le Boy.

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MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Restaurants

PALATE PARTY

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What is Palate Party?  It’s the restaurant that’s in Rumors Bar & Grill.  The restaurant is overseen by celebrity chef Robyn Almodovar.  Was there an age restriction?  I don’t believe so.  How was the maître d’?  There isn’t one.  You seat yourself.  What was the décor like?  The industrial-inspired décor is reminiscent of Almodovar’s famous South Florida food truck.  What was the seating like?  It’s all outside.  There are pub tables and regular tables.  What was the atmosphere like?  The “atmosphere” was essentially nonexistent since it was the Tuesday before Hurricane Irene.  No one was around.  Was it cruisy?  No cruising. Everyone was too busy preparing for the upcoming “festivities.”  When is happy hour?  2-4-1 from 11:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m., Monday through Sunday.

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MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Restaurants

BEEFCAKE’S BAR & GRILL

SHADE-O-METER RATING

3 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NO SHADE, BUT SHE DIDN’T TURN IT OUT”

Where’s Beefcake’s?  It’s in Boardwalk, which is in Wilton Manors.  Boardwalk is an all-male strip club that offers “men for men entertainment.”  Was there an age restriction?  Yes.  18 and up.  What was the décor and atmosphere like?  American-Asian faux chic, with a bordello-ish whiff.  The tables and chairs were stainless steel.  The lighting consisted of faux paper lanterns, and there are neon accents about.  Patrons can select music from a digital jukebox (which itself was a form of entertainment since one queen didn’t like what another queen was playing).  What was the seating like?  There was seating around the bar.  There were also pub tables and regular tables.  What was the crowd like?  It was mostly locals, and they were in small groups.  However, the crowd was friendly.  We overheard the people next to us say that they were visiting.  Was it cruisy?  If you’re sitting at the bar, and the person next to you is single, this definitely seems like a possibility.  The cruising factor likely diminishes if you’re sitting at a table.

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MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

POMPANO BILL

At almost 92-years-young, Pompano Bill discusses the joys of life, his crushes, and how he made—and continues to make—a unique contribution to South Florida’s LGBT community

PHOTOGRAPH BY DAVID WESSIN

Where did you grow up?  I’m still working on that.  However, I grew up in Norway, Michigan, which is in the upper peninsula of the state.  How long have you lived in South Florida?  Full-time?  Since 1987.  Which, at 91 years-of-age, is not long enough.  Why did you move here?  It was easy to leave La La Land.  What part of South Florida do you live in?  I live very close to gay Wilton Manors.  What do you like most about living here?  I like most of the community.  I like the weather, too.  What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone?  I’m old, you know, so I don’t really go out at night.  I used to love the Sunday tea dance at the old Sea Monster.  Where do you hang out in South Florida now, and why?  I like Rosie’s because the service is consistent.  I have lunch there about three or four times a week.  What’s your claim-to-fame?  I’m not famous, but I do enjoy being “known.”  I became adept at “profiling” people.  I was the first one around here who took headshots of people, and I named them—with the first name only—in the caption.  I also made sure that seniors got published, too.  I focused on the entire community, not just the bare-chested crowd.

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What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  I don’t recall.  And I don’t have time for Facebook.  What’s the last thing that you watched on TV?  The Late Show, with Stephen Colbert—he’s “real.”  And then I go to bed.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited, and why?  “Place” has many meanings.  However, I enjoyed visiting people along the California coast, my four trips to Italy, and the two gay cruises that I took.  How do you most enjoy spending your time?  That’s a difficult question.  I enjoy spending time with people who I like.  What celebrity would you like to sleep with?  Only one?!  Currently, John Krasinski.  What two historical figures would be your ideal parents?  I can’t think of any.  Most have skeletons in their closets.  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be, and why?  Abraham Lincoln.  The “why” is obvious.

PHOTOGRAPH BY POMPANO BILL

Where would you go in a time machine, and why?  I’d go forward, to 2020.  I’m hoping… really hoping.  What would your last meal be?  Hopefully, not before an execution.  Lasagna and a salad would be nice.  What do you worry about?  The country… the world… the planet.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  Baaaaaa!  Who do you depend on?  As few people as possible.  But every morning, my good friends John and Michael—who I’ve known for over forty years—call me at 9:30 to make sure that I’m not room temperature.  I also don’t drive anymore.  If I go somewhere, it has to be Driving Miss Daisy.  Who are you closest with?  Good friends, first.  You can choose your friends.  Family is second.  What would your autobiography be called?  Things in my Head.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  Not having one lifelong person to love.  Tell me something that you’ve never told anyone else.  It’s still a secret.  You might be a blabbermouth.

Pompano Bill’s weekly column, “Outlook,” can be seen in Hotspots Magazine.