MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Restaurants

EL TOVAR LOUNGE

SHADE-O-METER RATING

3 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “NO SHADE, BUT SHE DIDN’T TURN IT OUT”

What’s the El Tovar Lounge?  It’s the cocktail lounge at the El Tovar Hotel in the Grand Canyon Village. The Grand Canyon Village is in the southern rim of the Grand Canyon.  The El Tovar opened in 1905, and it’s the preeminent hotel in the Grand Canyon.  Was there an age restriction?  Unfortunately, no.  And if you can believe it, the table next to us had an infant that was about two years old (who was being fed baby food), and two other kids that were about 10-years-old—wonderful.  What time did we go?  At about 12.30 p.m.

How was the maître d’?  They don’t really have one.  If one of the servers happens to catch you as you walk in, you’re advised to sit where you’d like.  What was the décor like?  A bit different than the rest of the hotel, which was modeled on a European hunting lodge.  The cocktail lounge more closely resembles a hotel from the gilded age.  What was the seating like?  The main bar is inside.  It has some seats around the bar, and some free-standing tables.  There are also about 12 tables outside.  What was the atmosphere like?  For the most part, subdued.

What was the crowd like?  There probably wasn’t one person here who wasn’t a tourist.  And although the female servers weren’t dressed in vintage Harvey attire, a slightly obsequious atmosphere persists.  When’s happy hour?  They don’t have one.  What libations were ordered?  We ordered a Pomegranate Manhattan for $9.60, a Canyon Cooler for $8.90, and a Cucumber Gimlet for $9.60.  Were they served timely?  Yes.  How were the drinks?  All of them were excellent.  The Manhattan had Grand Canyon whiskey as its base, some pomegranate liquor (but not homemade) as a main enhancer, and it had a giant rosemary sprig (but not singed) in it.  The gimlet was supplemented with a cucumber.  The vodka cooler, although refreshing, was composed of the following prefabricated supplements: lemonade and berry schnapps.

What was ordered?  We ordered a Street Tacos for $10.95 and a Local Natural Navajo Nachos for $8.75.  Was the food served timely?  Yes, but it was served too fast.  The drinks were served, and then barely two minutes later, like the speed of a military mess hall, the food was brought out.  How was the food?  The taco had shredded pork in it, which, unfortunately, tasted a bit funny.  It also supposedly contained cotija cheese, although I didn’t see much of that in it.  The Navajo nachos—which was the better of the two dishes—was mainly composed of taco meat and beans on top of nachos.  The meat and the beans in the nacho dish were good.  However, they were too scant.

How was the service?  Excellent and attentive.  What stands out about the restaurant?  The opportunity to whet the whistle after a trek on the canyon, and, undoubtedly, the view (the outdoor seats are just a few dozen yards from the precipice of the canyon).  What could be improved?  The quality of the food and the pour of the liquor.  The food was nothing special, and the drinks, although the concoctions were on the higher end, were too measured.  For example, as if one were in the prohibition era when the hotel was still new, the liquid in the martinis was barely half full in the glass.

What was surprising?  Although others may be used to it, I’m not used to seeing children—especially infants—in bars, just because the bar serves food (and the website said that you have to be 21 to be in the lounge; guess they’re not enforcing this).  Regarding the view of the canyon, I didn’t expect it to be so close.  It provides one of the best views in the area.

The El Tovar Lounge is located at 9 Village Loop Dr., in Grand Canyon Village, Arizona.  It’s open seven days a week from 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m.

 

 

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN National Restaurants

THE ASYLUM

SHADE-O-METER RATING

4 OUTTA 5 WERKS: “SHE GAVE GOOD FACE – SHE SERVED IT”

What’s The Asylum?  It’s a restaurant that’s located in the Jerome Grand Hotel, which is in Jerome, Arizona.  Jerome is an old copper mining town, and the Jerome Grand Hotel was originally The United Verde Hospital, which serviced the mining community.  The building operated as a hospital from 1926 to 1950, and it’s estimated that 9,000 people died in the hospital during its illustrious tenure.  Hence, the building is purported to be one of the must haunted sites in Arizona.  The hotel opened its doors to the living in 1994, and the restaurant opened to them in 2003.

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Was there an age restriction?  None for the living.  What time did we go?  Not at the witching hour, unfortunately.  We went at about 1:00 p.m.  How was the maître d’?  Materialized.

What was the décor like?  It played into the haunted mystique of the building.  The vintage wheelchair outside was an especially nice touch.  What was the seating like?  There’s a bar area, which has seating at the bar and some high top tables.  There’s also a small dining room inside—which has spectacular views—and a small dining area outside.

What was the atmosphere like?  Upscale casual.  What was the crowd like?  They appeared to be virtually all tourists.  When’s happy hour?  No happy hour.  The spirits won’t allow it.

What libations were ordered?  We ordered an Electric Shock Lemonade for $9, a Screaming Sazerac for $12, and a Blood Orange Margarita for $11.

Were they served timely?  Yes.  How were the drinks?  The lemonade, which had house-infused lemon vodka in it, wasn’t exactly shocking, but it was tasty.  The margarita, which was made from house-infused blood orange tequila and homemade sweet and sour, was slightly more spectral in effect.  However, the standout poison was the New Orleans absinthe-laced Sazerac.  The drink was excellent, and contained the required louche.  However, considering that we were customers and not patients, I wasn’t a fan of the bartender’s clinical reliance on the jigger measuring tool.

What was ordered?  We ordered a Turner Family Farms of New Zeeland Calamari for $16.50 and a Mushroom Bacon Burger for $14.99.  Was the food served timely?  Yes.

How was the food?  The calamari was made from Turner gourmet calamari, and it had both dehydrated wasabi chick peas and chives on top of it.  It was also served with picked ginger and three kinds of sauces—Atomic horseradish cocktail sauce, a lemon basil aioli, and a wasabi aioli.  I supposed that Turner calamari is a bit better than regular calamari.  Regarding the three sauces, the wasabi aioli was the best.  The cocktail sauce was too salty.  The burger had sautéed shitake and button mushrooms, an “onion medley,” and mesquite smoked bacon on top of it.  It was also served with a side of Kennebec fries.  The burger was great.  The fries definitely had a homemade taste, but they were a little too chewy.

How was the service?  Polite and astute.  Of note, the server said that he lives in Jerome, which only has a population of about 500 (living) souls.  What stands out about the restaurant?  The history, the theming, and the vistas.  The award for the best drink name goes to “Liquid Valium.”

What could be improved?  I would uniform the wait staff in vintage medical attire.  Also, even though Jerome is a tourist area, I would still lower the prices a bit to align more closely with the cost of a public hospital in Central Arizona (which is where Jerome is), as opposed to prices that one would typically encounter at an exclusive, private clinic in, for example, Sedona.  What was surprising?  The Ouija board slate with the restaurant’s name on it.

The Asylum at the Jerome Grand Hotel is located at 200 Hill St., in Jerome, Arizona.  It’s open seven days a week from about 11:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m.     

MIKE JEKNAVORIAN Local Interviews

JAMES “JT” THOMPSON

As the creator of Key West’s official philosophy, “One Human Family,” and the host of 1 Saloon’s popular weekly event, the Cock Shock, few have lived longer on the island, or are associated more with it, than James “JT” Thompson.  But beyond this, what saturnalian talent does Thompson wish that he still had?

Where did you grow up?  In Denver.  How long have you lived in South Florida?  Longer than I can remember.  How long have you lived in Key West?  For 39 years.  What part of Key West do you live in?  In Old Town.  Specifically, in the Bahama Village.  What do you like most about living there?  I like that it’s a community where individuality is rewarded.  Was Key West better 20 years ago, when it seemed more “gay”?  We used to only hang at gay resorts.  But the goal of “gay lib” was inclusion in society as equals.  Key West is still gay—and more LGBTQ-supportive than ever—but we’re enjoying all of the resorts and activities in the island, not just the gay ones.  What Key West venue do you miss that’s gone?  The Copa was a heady, carefree time.  Where do you hang out in South Florida?  At my home bar, 1 Saloon.  What’s your claim-to-fame?  I’m the founder of Key West’s official philosophy, “One Human Family,” I have fun being sex-proud in vids with Al Parker and later on Treasure Island Media, and I’ve hosted “Cock Shock”  (which encourages everyone to be sex-proud and body-proud) at 1 Saloon for nine years.

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What philanthropic accomplishment or award are you the proudest of?  The Equality Florida’s “2017 Voice for Equality” Award.  What’s your day job?  I’m a graphic designer.  I used to do graphic design for the Los Angeles Herald Examiner as well.  Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now?  I swept floors for 35¢ an hour in 1967.  That, and every job since, has taught me something about being a responsible and indispensable employee.  How did you come up with your name?  I was helping a friend raise her kids, and her two-year-old couldn’t say James, so we all went by initials.  “JT” is short for James Thompson.  Locals call me “Key West’s John Lennon” or “The One Human Family Guy.”  If God were to take you tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered?  As someone who promoted unity, equality and diversity.  What do you want to live long enough to see?  I’d like to see a return to presidential dignity, integrity and honesty.  Will you ever retire?  I love my work and don’t have a rocking chair, so probably not.  What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked you?  I have fans…? 

What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?  I was on The Joan Rivers Show in 91’ talking about The Hung Jury, and I found her to be as joyous, genuine and honest as anyone I’ve ever met.  What’s the last thing that you looked at online?  Men.  What’s the best place that you’ve visited?  Amsterdam, for the Gay Games in 1998.  Who would you like to be for a day?  I’m too happy being me.  Do you believe in an afterlife?  Quantum physics needs 17 dimensions, and that means that they’re at least a dozen dimensions that we can’t sense.  We also know that energy can’t be created or destroyed—it only changes form.  So, our personal energies will continue in dimensions that we can’t see, and it will be guided by the unavoidable law of karma.  Do you think that this is the most amoral time that’s ever existed?  I’m deeply worried, and highly motivated!  Who or what is the greatest love of your life?  My dad, my mom and my doggies—Doe, Shadow and Beau.  What talent would you most like to have?  I used to be able to do it when I was young and flexible.  What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older?  To appreciate every day and every friend, and to take nothing for granted.

What did you learn from your parents?  To stand up tall for what you believe in.  Who’s your favorite performer?  Jelly Roll Morton.  What’s your best characteristic?  Dependability.  How do you enjoy spending your time?  Hanging with my buddy, Beau (he’s a pit/lab from the shelter).  What celebrity do you have a crush on?  Sam Elliott and Joe Manganiello.  Who do you admire?  Eleanor Roosevelt.  Partially, because she wrote the UN’s “Universal Declaration of Human Rights.”  If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be?  Since I was a child, I’ve had countless past-life flashes involving Lincoln.  I’d like to have a long lunch with him.  Where would you go in a time machine?  Let’s stay in 2018.  We have a lot of fucked up things to undo and repair.  What would your last meal be?  Maybe a joint?  What do you worry about?  Health care getting so expensive that only the rich can afford to be healthy.  What are you afraid of?  America being pulled backwards in a time when we must instead be accelerating forward. 

If you were a musical instrument, what would you be?  We’re all methane horns already.  Are you more like a sheep or a wolf?  I’m not a predator or carnivore, so I guess I’m more like a sheep.  Who depends on you, and for what?  My clients depend on me for my work, the community depends on me for One Human Family, and my buddy Beau depends on me for love and doggie kisses.  Who are you closest with?  My dad.  He’s always been my hero, and he’s ninety-years-old now!  What would your autobiography be called?  Today is the Only Day You Can Live, Love and Laugh.  What music do you listen to when you’re upset?  Ragtime.  What’s on your bucket list?  Touring Egypt.  What’s your greatest regret in life?  Not appreciating people while I had them in my life.  What’s something that you never told anyone else?  I’m an open book; I have no secrets.  Where can we see you?  In Old Town Key West, driving the One Human Family’s 1930 Model A Ford, or at the Cock Shock at 1 Saloon every Friday night.