The Stonewall Museum debuted Michael Fazakerley’s first solo photography show, Nightbirds, last Thursday. Twenty-five years in the making, the show featured photos of New York’s prominent nightlife personalities from the 1980s and 1990s, including club kids, drag queens and go-go boys. At the show, Fazakerly talked for about 15 minutes about his experiences photographing the subjects, as well as the challenges of having a solo show in a museum or gallery. The show also featured vintage designs from one of the original club kids, Ernie Glam, who attended the event as well. Nightbirds runs to January 20.
What’s Howl-O-Scream Tampa? It’s the Halloween event at Busch Gardens, in Tampa, Florida. The event occurs on select nights—mostly weekends—in September and October. Although the event is mostly about the haunted houses and the scare zones, most of the roller coasters are open as well.
How much were the tickets? They were around $30. If you bought the tickets before a certain date, they were cheaper than the regular price. The regular price is $39.99. How much was the parking? An annual pass-holder was with us, so the parking was free. If you have to pay, it costs about $20.
Did they serve liquor? Yes. They had specialty stands, and some of the regular bars were open as well. How were the drinks? We got a specialty drink. I don’t remember much about it, so it must of not been that special.
Did they have food? Yes. How was it? We ate at Zambia Smokehouse, which is a quick service restaurant that serves mostly BBQ. The food was pretty good. How were the crowds? Slight. Particularly so, compared to other years.
How were the houses? There were six of them: Insomnia, Simon’s Slaughterhouse, The Black Spot, Death Water Bayou, Unearthed, and Motel Hell. Insomnia and Simon’s Slaughterhouse were new. If you compare the sets and the overall quality of the houses at Howl-O-Scream to the houses at Halloween Horror Nights, there was no comparison. However, the houses at Howl-O-Scream Tampa were a little better than Howl-O-Scream Williamsburg. The best houses were probably Death Water Bayou (which took place in voodoo backcountry, as well as New Orleans), Insomnia (with imagery of people levitating and rabid sheep eating people), and Motel Hell (which had interesting 1970-inspired sets).
How were the scare zones? There were six of these as well: Meat Market, Maniac Midway, Camp DOA, Deadly Toys, Hell on Wheels, and Dia de los Muertos. All of the zones were new except for Meat Market. The Deadly Toys (featuring a performer who said, “I just farted, now smell it.”) and the Dia de los Muertos zones were probably the best ones. However, none of them left a lasting impression.
How were the shows? There was only one show, Fiends. We didn’t see it. What could have improved Howl-O-Scream? The quality of the houses was fine. But the crowds are likely thinning because people are getting sick of repeat houses, some of which have been repeated three and four times already. Also, there was only show, and the one they chose to drag out again was that tired old Fiends show.
What was surprising about it? The techo music at the front of the part. There was something off-putting about hearing that kind of music while you were seeing projected horror imagery. The houses were very long as well. I didn’t remember them being so lengthy.
Howl-O-Scream at Busch Gardens Tampa is located at 10165 N. McKinley Drive, in Tampa, Florida. The event is open on select evening in September and October. Refer to the website for exact hours.
Few eras were as hedonistic or crazy as the club-kids and drag scene in New York during the 1980s and 1990s, and Michael Fazakerley was there to photograph much of it. The first retrospective of his work, some unseen until now, will debut this Thursday in Wilton Manors.
Where did you grow up?In Southwest Philly. What do you miss about it there?Family time and Rittenhouse Square. Where did you live in New York? I moved there in 1978 to attend FIT, and I lived in the same apartment in Chelsea for 28 years. How long have you lived in South Florida?Since 2005, but I visited many times in the 80s & 90s. Why did you move here? In 2005, I wanted and needed change after 28 years in New York. I was drained from my 12-year career with Calvin Klein and Georgio Armani. What part of South Florida do you live in? I lived for eight years on Fort Lauderdale Beach, and now for five years in Wilton Manors. What do you like most about here? The nature and the weather. What South Florida venue do you miss that’s gone? The Copa and The Marlin Beach. Oh, and Johnny’s (laughs). Where do you hang out in South Florida?I’m a little low-key today, so The Pride Center and Wilton Drive. I also enjoy the beach. What’s your claim-to-fame?I wore a few hats. Today, I believe it will be my photos from the New York club scene from the 80s and 90s. I’m planning to leave my archives to the Stonewall Museum so that they can be a part of our history, live on, be part of my legacy. I also had a great career as a photo stylus, window dresser and visual director.
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Who was your favorite nightlife impresario?A favorite is hard to say. I loved Kabuki Starshine, Kenny Kenny and Leigh Bowery. Who’s your favorite fashion designer? Thierry Mugler, because of his impact, drama and creativity. What’s the craziest shoot that you ever did? Fifteen people in my one-bedroom apartment in New York for a HX cover and editorial for Valentine’s Day. What celebrity did you photograph who was different than what you expected? Leigh Bowery and Amanda Lapore. Both were sweet, conversational and professional. Will you ever retire? I’m semi-retired early due to health setbacks, but I do pet sitting, I volunteer at a few places, I’m looking into having a book published, and I’ll travel with my exhibit. If God were to take you tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered?As someone who cares for other’s well-being. What do you want to live long enough to see? Elected officials and big businesses having to show their financials.
PHOTOGRAPH BY MICHAEL FAZAKERLEY
What’s the weirdest question that a fan has asked you?I get asked a lot about Party Monster, the film and what it was really like. What celebrity did you act like a “fan” around?As a stylist, I worked with many at Scavullo’s studio. I guess early Boy George and Grace Jones. Oh, and Cher. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? I googled the November election ballot to prepare myself to vote. What’s the best place that you’ve visited?A few. Sitges, Spain, and Mykonos, Greece. If Trump was drowning, would you save him? I would try to. What’s your favorite drink?Ice tea and lemonade—an Arnold Palmer. What’s your most treasured possession? Old family photos and my dad’s dog tags. Do you believe in ghosts? Spirits…? Yes. Either living or dead, who would you love to have lunch with? Lady Diana, David Bowie, and my brother Frank, who passed four years ago. What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older? That money doesn’t buy happiness.
PHOTOGRAPH BY STEPHEN R. LANG
What did you learn from your parents?Work ethics and tolerance toward others who are different than me. Who’s your favorite performers? Cher, Elton and Patty Labelle. What’s your best characteristic?Compassion. How do you enjoy spending your time? I love the sea and mother nature. What celebrity do you have a crush on?John Stamos, for many years. Who do you admire?Many, for various reason, but let’s say Oprah and Cecil Beaton. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be?My dear friend, Jim Tremblay, who passed at 38. Where would you go in a time machine? To the first moon landing. What would your last meal be?Eggs, bacon, grits and biscuits with gravy. What do you worry about? Humanity. What are you afraid of?Prejudice and suffering.
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Pansy Beat was a short-lived fanzine published by Michael Economy in New York from 1989 to 1990, totaling five quarterly issues. This book celebrates Pansy Beat’s brief but influential life, including a reprinting of all five issues in their original format, previously unseen photographs by staff photographer Michael Fazakerley, new full-color artwork by some of the original contributors, plus new essays and interviews.
If you were a musical instrument, what would you be?A piano. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? I go back and forth a lot, but sheep wins. Who depends on you, and for what?My pet-sitting clients, and my cat, Noah, for care, food, protection and love. Who are you closest with? Currently, my roommate Frank, my friend Charles, and my sister, Maryann. What would your autobiography be called? …And the Beat Goes On. What music do you listen to when you’re upset?Wagner and Ravi Shankar. What’s on your bucket list? To visit Cuba and Fiji, and to have my exhibit shown in New York City. What’s your greatest regret in life? Being honest to a fault. What’s something that you never told anyone else? Wow (laughs). Hmm…? Pass. Where can we see you? At the Stonewall Museum on October 18, in L.A. in March 2019, and hopefully in New York City in the summer or fall 2019.
What’s Howl-O-Scream Williamsburg? It’s the Halloween event at Busch Gardens, in Williamsburg, Virginia. The event occurs on select nights—mostly weekends—in September and October. How much were the tickets? There isn’t an extra charge for the event. A regular Busch Gardens ticket includes admission to Howl-O-Scream. If you buy it online, a two-day ticket costs $80. How much was the parking? $20.
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Did they serve liquor? Yes. They had specialty stands, and some of the regular bars were open as well. How were the drinks? Some of the stores sell wine, and they let you buy a bottle and open it. A bottle cost $20, and we got one of them. We also got one specialty drink, which costs about $11. Did they have food? Yes, but we didn’t get any.
How was the event? The way it looks is fabulous. Although the houses at Halloween Horror Nights might be better than the houses at this event, there’s no topping the landscape and décor of Howl-O-Scream Williamsburg. Given the Virginian landscape and climate, the event is much more Halloween looking than the Florida Halloween events. Many of the roller coasters were open as well.
How were the crowds? We went on Friday and Saturday. The crowds on Friday were very thin. None of the house had any lines—you just walked right on them all. However, Saturday was the opposite. The lines were nuts on Saturday. The suggestion would be to get the two-day ticket and do the houses and some of the rides in the dark on Friday, and then do the shows and the scare zones on Saturday.
How were the houses? There were seven of them: Demented Dimensions (where human are at the bottom of the food chain at “Sterling Manor), Vault XX (which featured a walk down memory lane with prior Howl-O-Scream mascots), Dystopia (themed to a futuristic post-apocalyptic world), Circo Sinistro (a circus theme; picture AHS: Freak Show), Cornered (set in a farming community in 1977, where people have gone missing), Frost Bite (set in a “macabre, icy graveyard,” where the ice comes alive and has “teeth”), and Lumber Hack (where saws mysteriously killed loggers, and the woods are subsequently haunted by their ghosts). The best houses capitalized on the Virginian landscape (i.e., Cornered and Lumber Hack). The weakest house, Dystopia, had lackluster sets and a clichéd theme (zombie-ish-looking beings from the future). The circus house, Circo Sinistro, was fabulously surreal and psychedelic.
How were the scare zones? There were six of them: Fools’ Court (in France), Garden of Souls (in Italy), Axe Alley (in New France, or, in other words, Canada), Ripper Row (in England), Sideshow Square (in Festia Italia), and Vampire Point (in Germany). The showpiece, which was right when you walk into the park, has got to be Ripper Row, in England. This alone was worth the price of admission. The scare zone was haunted by Victorian characters, including bobbies who kept blaring whistles, and woman who kept walking by and snapping fans. The area was made all the more disorienting by profuse fog, which was so thick in parts of it that you could barely see two feet in front of you. The rest of the zones weren’t particularly memorable.
How were the shows? There were three: Fiends, Monster Stomp on Ripper Row, and Night Beats: Revamped. The Nights Beats show was in the German beer hall. Don’t both with this show; it wasn’t even really a Halloween one. The show that should not be missed, however, was Ripper Row. This show was in The Globe Theater in England. The dancing and singing in it was great, but the real stars of the show were the percussionist quartet. The show was so entertaining, that it could have been longer than it’s half an hour running time. We didn’t see the Fiends show.
What could have improved Howl-O-Scream Williamsburg? That Night Beats show in the beer hall definitely needs to be improved (or maybe just scrap it), they could stand to spend some more money on the sets, and the concepts for some of the houses and scare zones should be more complex and nuanced.
What was surprising about it? Some of the landscapes in the distance were unbelievable, with scary-looking farm houses and barns. There were times when it felt like you were in the real Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Also, some of the performers in the houses were cleverly and surprisingly hidden. For example, some of them were coming at you from above.
Howl-O-Scream at Busch Gardens Williamsburg is located at 1 Busch Gardens Blvd., in Williamsburg, Virginia. The event is open on select evening in September and October. Refer to the website for exact hours.
Like a wilder and more realistic version of the nightclub scenes in The Birdcage—and with a queen always at arm’s reach no matter where you went in the club—the House of Condeghi hosted their Turnabout Ball at The Pub, to celebrate the venue’s first anniversary. The ball, which was hosted by local drag performer Sharde Ross, went from 9:00 p.m. to midnight and featured many of The Pub’s staff in the competition. The tips were donated to The Smart Ride.
What is Halloween Horror Nights (HHN)? It’s the Halloween event at Universal Orlando. This year’s event—the 28thyear—had ten houses (for the first time ever), three scare zones, and one show. Some of the rides were open as well. The advertising campaign was built around the Stranger Thingshouse, which was one of the main houses, and had a loose 1980s theme as well. We went to the event on Sunday, September 23. The event is open either from 6:30 p.m. to 1:00 a.m., or from 6:30 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. It was open until 1:00 on the day we went. How much was the parking? We stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel, which is an on-site property. The event is a five-minute walk from the hotel.
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Does the venue serve liquor? Yes. There were various stands, which serve beer, wine and specialty HHN drinks. Some of the regular bars were open as well. For example, the bar near the Jaws display was open. How was the drink? We got a double tequila on the rocks for $15, and a double chardonnay for $15. They were fine. Does the venue serve food? There were food booths, and most of the regular restaurants were open as well. Some of the restaurants in CityWalk, the entertainment and retail area outside of the park, were open as well.
How was the food? We didn’t get any food at the event. However, we got a pizza and caprese salad at Red Oven Pizza Bakery in CityWalk after the event. The pizza was ok. The caprese salad wasn’t so great. How much were the tickets? Depending on the night, if you buy the tickets online, they range from $62.99 to $83.99 (which is up $3 to $4 from last year). However, if you want to see all the houses, you’ll have to get the front-of-the-line Express Pass. With some of the lines at an hour or more, there is no other way to do it. The Express Pass starts at $79.99—the same price as last year.
How was the Stranger Things house? Although the preview video for this house was hands-down the best one—featuring the fabulous theme song, and with video of Universal going upside down, to reveal the Stranger Things realm below the park—the house itself was good, but not mind-blowing. The house showcased the “Eleven” character several times, with her hand stretched out to do her psychokinesis. Probably the best scene featured the Winona Rider character going nuts in her house, with Christmas lights everywhere and on the fritz. Strangely the Barb character seemed to be missing from the house.
How was the Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers house? This is the film where Michael Myers tries to kill Laurie Strode’s niece, culminating in the niece inheriting Myer’s killer instincts at the end of it. The music, of course, was great. Not so much, the house. The best scenes featured the “Loomis” character and the niece, where the niece had the clown mask on and a knife in her hand. The rest wasn’t particularly memorable.
How was the Poltergeist house? Although the house featured strong imagery, it was strangely non-linear during parts of it—the house started with the end scene (“You left the bodies and you only moved the headstones!”). The best sets were of that giant demon face coming at you out the “light,” skeletons in coffins, the steak moving across the counter (fabulous!), and Tangina directing you to “clear your minds.” However, strangely, the film’s creepy theme song was absent.
How was the Trick ‘r Treat house? I saw this film once, and although I don’t remember being that crazy about, despite its accolades, the house was excellent. When the maze began, you entered a house, which was spectacularly adorned with light pumpkins, and then you were greeted by the “Sam” character at the top of the stairs. For the duration of the house, Sam and other characters from the film proceeded to taunt you.
How was The Horror of Blumhouse house? This house featured scenes from the first The Purge film, and from Happy Death Day. Although nothing quit rattles the nerves as hearing that “purge” siren, informing you that all crimes are legal, including murder, this was one of the weaker houses. The better imagery was of ghostly apparitions and came from the Happy Death Day part. How was the Carnival Graveyard: Rust in Pieces house? This house featured circus and carnival imagery from a “carnival” graveyard. The sets were good enough, but the theme was obtuse. This was one of the weaker houses.
How was the Dead Exposure: Patient Zero house? The house was essentially a take on the film, 28 Days Later. A virus turned people into zombies. The best part was in the laboratory, at the beginning, where lunatic looking monkeys were going frantic in cages. How was the Scary Tales house? This house placed you in the land of the Wicked Witch of the West (according to the website). In the maze, you were basically trapped and taunted in her range, and with no “fairytale ending” in sight. The best effect was at the beginning, where the witch stood on the balcony of her castle, taking off on her broom over you, al la the assistance of a theatrical support wire.
How was Seeds of Extinction house? This house was very dark, and I believe that it had outdoor elements as well. The villains consisted of a hybrid of creatures that looked like Audry II from Little Shop of Horrors and the monsters from Stranger Things. Once again, this was one of the weaker houses. How was the Slaughter Sinema house? This house was clever. The house was predicated on three fictitious films, who’s trailers were screened in the line, including the mock-satanic film, Cult of Beast Baby. The best effect was a room with the “beast baby” in it, where the lights dimmed and the baby’s eye were glowing red and starring at you.
How were the shows? There was only one show this year—Academy of Villains: Cyberpunk. According to the website, the show is a mix of “dance, acrobatics and theatrics… with synths and neon lights.” We didn’t see it. How were the scare zones? There were five: Revenge of Chucky (as in, Chucky, from the Child’s Play films), Killer Klowns from Outer Space (which was based on that film), The Harvest (which played on haunted barn imagery), Twisted Tradition, and Vamp’ 85: New Year’s Eve (with vampiric 80s pop stars). They were all good, but the Chucky area was the freakiest. Cabbage Patch looking dolls walking around with knives, as well as an adult baby in a diaper, if you can imagine.
What could have improved HHN? More linear storytelling in some of the houses would probably improve them. In addition, the themes in some of the non-movie houses were somewhat weak or clichéd (the zombie house comes to mind). In addition, it’s time for houses that are based on the films It and The Ring. Those are needed. And the Blumhouse houses have run their course as well. Ditch those.
What was surprising about it? The houses are extremely long. Longer than I remember. Considering all the details that are in them, that makes them all the more impressive.
Universal Studio Orlando is located at 6000 Universal Blvd., in Orlando, Florida. HHN is on select nights, through November 3.
Where do you live? I live in L.A., and I’ve lived there for so long that the statute of limitations in New Jersey have run out. What’s special about L.A.? People move here for the dream—money, fame, sex. I’m deeply shallow; I fit right in. What L.A. venue do you miss that’s gone? Back alleys. Now they’ve got an app for that. If you had to live somewhere else, where would you live? If I had to…? Like, why…? The earth swallowed up Southern California…? That’s gonna happen anyway, and I’ll probably get swallowed with it. I hate you; where’s my Xanax? Is this your first time performing in South Florida? No, but it’s the first time in Boca and Aventura, so, in a sense, it’s like doing a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. Will you have time to do something fun when you’re here? Yes, but I can’t mention it specifically, or I’ll get taken to court by Rose McGowan. You can’t be too careful these days. How would you describe yourself? A writer/actor/comedian/stripper. You name it, you book it, you got it.
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Which celebrity project was the most special to you? I’d be a fool if I did’t lead with Bette—we have a long and colorful collaboration. But writing 23 Oscar shows, and being a Hollywood “square” for six years, and being a woman in Hairsprayon Broadway and the road, were all pretty special. There have also been a lot of fundraisers that helped a lot of people. What’s the strangest thing that’s ever happened to you on stage? In Hairspray, my first week on Broadway, my skirt slipped below my dainty waist and pooled on the floor around me. So I was up there wearing the full top, an off-white girdle, and the fat suit. The audience didn’t know if it was part of the show or not, until I said, “Now you know why I spent six years sitting in a square.” Other than yourself, who’s one of the best comedy writers? The people that I’ve collaborated with the most, Jon Macks and Dave Boone, who write just about every special event on television. But there are lots of fantastic writers out there that I haven’t worked with.
What comic do you admire? George Carlin was my all-time favorite. Eddie Izzard is pretty spectacular. And Lily Tomlin is a genius. Who’s your favorite RuPaul queen? Bianca! She rules when she’s onstage. She’s genuinely funny and fierce. What’s your dream gig? Mrs. Jake Gyllenhaal. Oh, professionally…? I have immense range, so I’d like to do the Meryl Streep story. Other than your Oscars gig, what’s your dream writing gig? It would be wonderful to lie on a fainting couch like Marcel Proust and just churn it out. What’s your favorite play or musical? How to Succeed is pretty perfect, and South Pacific has the most glorious score and a real emotional tug. All those people thrown together on an island trying not to lose it. Oh, wait. That’s Survivor. Which award is the most special to you? The Nobel Peace prize. Think I have a shot? Which Advocatearticle is the most special to you? Now you’re forcing me to remember opinions that I came up with 20 years ago. I don’t remember how I felt about the brisket at Rosh Hashanah.
Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now? Everything taught me something. I just wish that I had retained what it was. If God were to take you tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered? As a beautiful, thin person. But you get what you pay for. Will you ever retire? But then you have to move to Boca, by law. No, writers never stop. Herman Wouk is still at a desk every day. What’s the weirdest question that a fan’s asked you? “May I see your feet?” What other celebrity did you act like a “fan” around? I’ve been at it since I was a kid, so I kept meeting celebrities in a professional capacity. However, Sidney Poitier did make me talk in tongues. He’s so gracious and elegant, and, well, he’s a historical figure, not an audio-animatronic. Who would play you in a movie?James Franco said he wanted to, but I told him that he’d smother under the fat suit. What do you want to live long enough to see? Something orange leaving the building. What are you superstitious about? The hell with that. I go full-bore OCD.
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Do you believe in aliens? I think that if they were as great as they’re cracked up to be, they’d have conquered us by now. Unless they dropped by, took a whiff, and put the mothership in reverse. What’s the gayest concert that you ever went to?Judy Garland in Columbus, Ohio, in 1967. I was a college student and came home with a notebook full of numbers from kindly, older gentlemen. What’s the most times that you read a book? I have re-read Patrick Dennis so many times, even my dog says the books are dog-eared. His big hit was Auntie Mame, but he was a brilliant social satirist who wrote a dozen wonderful novels. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? Has anyone ever answered that question honestly? What’s the best place that you’ve visited? Israel, when I was a teenager, before it was controversial even to Jews. What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older? It is what it is. What did you learn from your parents? To pay cash. What’s your best characteristic? That I insist on having a good time. How do you enjoy spending your time? Answering questions, evidently. What celebrity do you have a crush on? I don’t believe that’s legal anymore.
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Who do you admire?Paul Newman. He turned his fame into a perpetual revenue-stream for good. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be?Cleopatra, so people would finally stop claiming they used to be her. Where would you go in a time machine? To someplace where I could still take my meds. What would your last meal be? Pasta, pasta, pasta. What do you worry about? “Did anyone smell that?” What are you afraid of? Spiders dressed as clowns. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be? Something that has to be blown. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? I’m like a sheep eating a wolf. Who depends on you, and for what? A black pug, for everything. Who are you closest with? See above. What would your autobiography be called? I’m struggling with the title now, which might wind up being the title. What music do you listen to when you’re upset? Schving! What’s on your bucket list? To kick it. What’s your greatest regret in life? That I keep postponing things. Like this answer. What’s something that you never told anyone else? Life is a cabaret, old chum. Where can we see you? If you miss the Boca show, and you know your way around, i’ll be in Aventura at the Arts & Cultural Center the next night. C’mon down!
In a rare appearance in Broward County, Miami drag legend Adora—adorned in her trademark turbin—performed a mini-set at Matty’s in Wilton Manors on September 15 for one of the bar’s owners.
Rumors hosted Renica J. Justrenica’s The Dirty Game Show last Saturday. The game show, a sort of bawdy twist on The Price Is Right, featured an oscillating potpori of both raunchy and tongue-in-cheek questions. Many audience members in the bar played along with the show, with “guess the song” questions getting the most enthusiastic response. The show started at 9:00 p.m., and it lasted about two hours. The DJ was Joshua Atom.
What’s The Grand Canyon? It’s a giant canyon in northern Arizona. And if it’s not the biggest canyon in the world, it’s certainly close to it. The canyon was carved about five million years ago by the Colorado River. Where is it? It’s only in Arizona. I must confess that I initially thought that parts of it bordered Colorado. Not true. It’s all in Arizona. How do you get there? The closest major airport to the southern rim of the canyon is Phoenix International, in Phoenix. I had a direct flight from Fort Lauderdale to Phoenix. The drive from Phoenix to the Grand Canyon is about 220 miles.
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Where can you stay? The closest towns to the Grand Canyon National Park are Williams, Arizona (which is where we stayed), and Tusayan, Arizona. Williams is known as “The Gateway to the Grand Canyon,” and they have a train that brings you to the Grand Canyon. However, she ain’t cheap, and it only leaves once day. Tusayan is the last town before you enter the Grand Canyon, and they’re many affordable hotels there. The park itself also has several lodges and campgrounds. The crown glory of the lodges is, of course, the fabulous El Tovar Hotel, which should not be missed.
How was the Grand Canyon? I initially pictured some Thelma & Louise (which was filmed on the northern rim) open hole in the ground, and not much more than that. It’s nothing like that. When people say the Grand Canyon, they mean the southern rim, and, specifically, they mean the Grand Canyon Village. The Grand Canyon Village, which is within the Grand Canyon National Park, contains many historic buildings and lodges, all set in deference to the canyon itself. And some of the building and shops are literally teetering right on the edge of the canyon, where they’ve stood like that for decades. Furthermore, there is heavy theming going on in the village. The architecture style of buildings at some of the western and midwestern national parks is colloquially called, “parkitecture,” which is an architectural style that’s meant to both harmonize and utilize the surrounding landscape. The Grand Canyon Village certainly has no shortage of building done in this style; many of them date to the early 1900s. Concerning the village, there are free shuttles that bring you from one building to the next (or you can walk or bike the trails to get to different areas).
How many days do you need to see everything? At least two. There are so many buildings to see, that it’s too much to cram it all into one day. The main village takes about an entire day to see. There is also a smaller eastern section that takes about a half an hour to drive to. This area has an indigenous museum and a popular observation tower. On the second day, you can see this eastern area, and then maybe walk on trails for a couple of hours, either in the eastern area, or back at the main part of the village.
What can you do there? You can visit the Grand Canyon Village, walk the trails, or take a helicopter to the bottom of the canyon. If you want to walk to the bottom of the canyon, you must, one, enjoy heights, and, two, allow two days to do it. It takes one day to walk down it, and then you have to camp at the bottom of it. You would walk back up the next day. If you want to raft the Colorado River, that’s a whole other thing, which requires several days to do it. As far as the canyon goes, don’t miss the view from the Yavapai Geological Museum. A group of scientists selected this site in the 1920s as the most spectacular view of it. How’s the gay scene? There really isn’t any to speak of. You’ll have to turn on your Grindr or Tinder accounts.
What was surprising about it? Several things. One, we saw a male elk, and if you’ve never seen one of them, they’re like the size of an elephant (actually, an adult male is about 700 lbs.). Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get a picture of it. Two, I wasn’t aware that much of the canyon in the southern rim is buffered by trees. I wasn’t expecting to see trees, and then this monstrous canyon beyond them. And finally, there’s a lot a smoking that goes on in the area. There’s a large European population that visits the canyon, much larger than I’ve seen anywhere else in the U.S. (including Disney and Vegas), and you know how they are with the cigarettes.
Is it worth visiting again? Omg, yes. The first view of the canyon is difficult to describe, in that it was everything that I thought it would be, but nothing like it. Once you get over the initial shock of it, the majesty of the canyon never dulls. You could stare at it for hours. You also have a weird sensation of looking down from an airplane (the highest straight-down drop is 3,000 feet) when you’re looking at it, but your feet are on the ground. It’s really something that everyone should see at least once in their lifetime.
If you were a musical instrument, what would you be? A piano. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? I go back and forth a lot, but sheep wins. Who depends on you, and for what? My pet-sitting clients, and my cat, Noah, for care, food, protection and love. Who are you closest with? Currently, my roommate Frank, my friend Charles, and my sister, Maryann. What would your autobiography be called? …And the Beat Goes On. What music do you listen to when you’re upset? 
Did they serve liquor? Yes. They had specialty stands, and some of the regular bars were open as well. How were the drinks? Some of the stores sell wine, and they let you buy a bottle and open it. A bottle cost $20, and we got one of them. We also got one specialty drink, which costs about $11. Did they have food? Yes, but we didn’t get any.
Which celebrity project was the most special to you? I’d be a fool if I did’t lead with 
What comic do you admire? 
Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now? Everything taught me something. I just wish that I had retained what it was. If God were to take you tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered? As a beautiful, thin person. But you get what you pay for. Will you ever retire? But then you have to move to Boca, by law. No, writers never stop. Herman Wouk is still at a desk every day. What’s the weirdest question that a fan’s asked you? “May I see your feet?” What other celebrity did you act like a “fan” around? I’ve been at it since I was a kid, so I kept meeting celebrities in a professional capacity. However, 
