From fielding queries about raising her sons as homosexuals, to making sure that all of her cash faces in the same direction, to being a piano in a gay bar, it’s all in a day’s work for comic Judy Gold.
Where did you grow up? In Clark, New Jersey. What do miss about it there? What do I miss? Nothing. Where do you live now? I live on the Upper West Side of New York City. What’s special about it there that isn’t common knowledge? The Upper West Side is home to the city’s four remaining phone booths. What’s the strangest thing that even happened to you on stage? I was performing on a RSVP cruise in the main theatre, when the captain came on to say that there was a small fire on board and that everyone should remain in place. While he was talking about how minor the fire was, he kept having to interrupt himself so he could cough. Then the electricity went out, the generators went on, and I just kept on going and finished the show. People still stop me to this day to tell me they were there. It ended up being a great and memorable show!
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Can comics go too far, or does it only come down to if the material is funny or not? It’s 100 percent about “the funny.” You can talk about any subversive topic, but it better be funny. What comic do you admire? Joan Rivers. What’s one of the funniest TV shows ever? The Office. What’s harder to handle—an audience member who gets offended and visibly walks out, or one who stares at you with no reaction? They both suck. But often times the starer is deaf. What audience member was the worst so far? There’s not enough space or time. What’s your dream role? Maude. Which one of your old jobs least prepared you for what you do now? I’ve been doing stand-up since I was 19-years-old, so I haven’t had that many “job” jobs. Although, I was a toll collector on the New Jersey Turnpike the summer in between my freshman and sophomore years in college. I still make sure that all of my cash faces the same direction.
If God were to take you tomorrow, how would you like to be remembered? As a good mother, kind, funny and honest. Oh, and really thin. Will you ever retire? Absolutely not. What’s the weirdest question that a fan’s asked you? Whether or not I’ll be raising my kids as homosexuals. What other celebrity did you act like a “fan” around? Michelle Obama. What do you want to live long enough to see? Trump in handcuffs. Oh, and my grandchildren. What’s your favorite drink? Strong black coffee. What’s your most treasured possession? Memories. Do you believe in ghosts? Sometimes. Either living or dead, who would you love to have lunch with? My father. What’s the last thing that you looked at online? How many phone booths there are on the upper west side. What’s the best place that you’ve visited? Israel.
What’s something that you learned in life only when you got older? To trust your gut. What did you learn from your parents? That just because someone has a big house, nice car, and lots of jewelry, doesn’t mean that they have money. Who’s your favorite performer? Really…? Okay, Barbra… Young, raw, ambitious Barbra. What’s your best characteristic? My sense of humor. What politician don’t you like? I can’t believe that you’re even asking me this question. If that person was drowning, would you save them? Probably, out of guilt. How do you enjoy spending your time? Watching my younger son play basketball, eating, reading, eating, tennis, eating, swimming in the ocean, eating, listening to music, eating, and hanging out with my girlfriend and my kids. Did I mention dining out? What celebrity do you have a crush on? You have no idea how jealous my girlfriend can be.
Who do you admire? Ruth Bader Ginsburg. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be? Only one…? I can’t pick. But I’d love to see my parents. Where would you go in a time machine? To 1920s Berlin. What would your last meal be? My mother’s stuffed red cabbage, egg noodles and challah. What do you worry about? Everything. What are you afraid of? Not being able to speak. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be? An upright piano in a gay piano bar. Are you more like a sheep or a wolf? I’m a sheep in wolf’s clothing. Who depends on you, and for what? My sons do, for unconditional love. Who are you closest with? My iPhone. But we spend way too much time together. What would your autobiography be called? The Jewish Book of “Why Me?”. What’s on your bucket list? To act on Broadway. Where can we see you? On tour or on my website. I’ll be in Aventura on January 18, and at the Boca Black Box on January 19!
